C.S. Lewis (via thecynincspensieve)

Truth.

Outfit for Galadriel

@jesusagrees this would look ridiculously good on me when I become queen.

*Patient pushes call bell*

*Nurse enters room*

“Hey!”

“Hey.”

“What’s up?”

“My penis!”

I came out of surgery once, and told the OR nurse that she was beautiful, and then begged her to marry me - with my (now ex) wife in the room.

Was this the result of meds or just not giving a shit?

Bit of both

Bill, causing uncomfortable situations for nurses since .

i love when people rant to me like yes i am entrusted with your hate

LEWIS, A Grief Observed, Chapter 4

this one is a personal fav. 

(via theclivechronicles)

C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (via theclivechronicles)

‭‭II Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭NKJV‬‬ (via jesus-frees-us)

Dodie Smith (via promptly-written)

reblog for noises

TURN THE SOUND ON FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD TURN THE SOUND ON

99% of her supporters do just close their eyes.

“We arent sure yet”

“No more prawns lol”

“I don’t know but look how lucky we are to be alive to see it”

“time to chill for a few hours”

“night mom”

“I’m fuckin with you”

“Heat*”

“No. burn them”

“Embarrassingggg”

“yep”

“Duh.”

“We have rice at home.” fdknsv;ndgfdfl

“Ugh. God. They’re just EAT UP with the dumbass.”

“yeah that’s good babe”

“Hopefully he wasn’t a total douche about it.”

“Yoo-hoo! Big summer blowout!”

“get me some onion rings. Large, motherfucker.”

“So the 28th at 5pm for D&D, don’t worry, just bring food I have dice”

“You”

“Unless I die first :/”

“Maybe”

“I want a blender for Christmas” and then I sent this link

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Magic-Bullet-NutriBullet-Nutrition-Extraction-Mixer-Blender-As-Seen-on-TV/20551534

“3D women are unimportant”

“A new ai they are turning into a nazi”

“i saw that farrakhan thing hahaha”

“So the Russo-Japanese war was not fought over land, but it was a pseudo crusade called by the orthodox church against anime”

“Buy me an apple pie to bake!!!”

“Brumbo fucking tungus”

the nuggets are the ten piece meal with the cola and fries obviously

“Yeah”

“Bruh. Lmfao”

“You must be fucking with me”

Unfortunate!

“And I tweaked something in my back this morning…now I’m in severe pain. Great.”

"I miss Japanese food. And convenience stores."

Cosmo got something right for once

He means “I most likely acted like a douche when all she tried to do was love and care for me because I have commitment and emotion issues and I shut her out so much that she broke down. But yeah she’s crazy.”

Or maybe he dated not so great ladies and regrets it. Maybe he was trying to love and care for her but instead she acted crazy.

It’s amazing how a guy is automatically wrong when he says he had a crazy ex, cause it must be insane to think some women out there are just shitty girlfriends

I can only speak for my own situation but k.

^^ found the crazy ex

Lol god cosmo is such fucking garbage.

For a LOT of girls, treating men like overgrown infants is their way of "showing they love them" and most men don't want to be mommied by their girlfriends. When they inevitably end up with a girl who does nothing but mommy him, he pulls away, she thinks the only way to hold onto him is by clinging for dear life, which tends to scare most guys off. It's both parties' faults, but usually it's begun by the girl being a bit of a monster in the first place with some misconception that doing everything down to wiping a guy's ass and never leaving his side is what a normal guy wants in a woman.

Listen UP

STOP 👏🏿DENYING 👏🏼 TRANS 👏🏻 WOMEN 👏🏾 ACCESS 👏🏽 TO 👏🏿 GYNECOLOGISTS

STOP 👏🏼 DISCRIMINATING 👏🏻 AGAINST 👏🏾 WOMEN 👏🏻 WITHOUT 👏🏼 VAGINAS 👏🏿 AND 👏🏻 OVARIES 👏🏾 AND 👏🏿 UTERUSES

GYNECOLOGISTS 👏🏾 SHOULD 👏🏿 TREAT 👏🏽 PENISES 👏🏿 AND 👏🏻 TESTICLES 👏🏾 TOO

GYNECOLOGISTS 👏🏻 THAT 👏🏾 DON’T 👏🏿 ARE 👏🏻 TERF 👏🏽 SCUM

Tumblr is so retarded, I honestly can’t tell if this is satire or serious.

Come on bruh this isn’t even subtle

Hang around for a while.

I’ve seen shit identical to this that was 100% serious.

This is why I think less people should be allowed to vote, not more.

holy fuck you guys 

after years of being vaguely confused when I came across the measurement “a stick of butter” in recipes, today I learned that in the United States they sell butter in these skinny stick things:

it is literally a stick of butter. A STICK OF BUTTER. 

i have literally never seen butter sold this way. each stick one only amounts to ½ a cup of butter AMERICANS PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT MY WHOLE LIFE WHEN I SAW THE PHRASE “A STICK OF BUTTER” IN RECIPES I WAS IMAGINING THIS:

THIS IS THE ONLY “STICK” I’D EVER SEEN BUTTER SOLD IN. I THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE THROWING FUCKIN’ POUNDS UPON POUNDS OF BUTTER INTO THINGS HOLY JESUS THE WORLD MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW FUCKIN CHRIST. 

I love little foreign confusion things like this

I mean, we do still put a fuck ton of butter in and on shit, so.

I do put like a pound of butter in and on food because it's delicious, so. Also, Paula Deen. Watch her cook. See how much butter is used. That is normal.