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Perks Of Being Dead Inside.

@forgotten-inthiscruelworld / forgotten-inthiscruelworld.tumblr.com

"I tried to get help and I failed."
If you need some one to talk to I will always listen. Don't think you're any less important than anyone else.
16 | WA | Jessi
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Here’s to the fanfic writers who can only write sporadically.

Here’s the writers who can’t output enough to keep up with the most popular writers.

Here’s to the writers writing even though they get no feedback.

Here’s to the writers who somehow manage to scrape together a little inspiration and a lot of hard work to write that story they know nearly no one will read.

Here’s to the creators who keep going even when it’ feels like screaming into an empty void.

You’re inspiration, and I don’t know how you do it.

From the deepest part of my long-suffering heart:

Thank you.

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people who make fun of autistic people are no longer allowed to use slime, weighted blankets, stress balls, or anything similar that originated and/or was popularized by the autistic community.

i very much agree, however, may i also propose:

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I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

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dragginage

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

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systlin

I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?” 

So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.

And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes. 

Do good recklessly.

I think “Do good recklessly” would be fantastic word art to hang on one’s wall. Artistic people, go!

So this has happened to me but from the other side. Several years ago when my oldest was around three or so, I had my debit card decline at Walmart. It wasn’t a scam or a mistake, I was genuinely broke. Out of money. I checked my bank and discovered I had something like 7 dollars left to my name and a hungry kid and nothing to eat at home. So I sat there trying to come up with the best way to stretch that tiny amount of money to feed my kid. Not even to feed me. I can live on popcorn or something if I have to but my kid was three and he had to eat. So there I am trying really hard not to cry while I slowly take things out of my basket to get it down to under 7 bucks, when a lady tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and she smiled at me and started putting the things back in my cart. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t have the money for them but she stopped me right away and said “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine.” Then she handed the cashier her credit card and said “Ring up all of it.” My kid got to eat because of her. I got to eat because of her. I had laundry soap and deodorant because of her. She could’ve just ignored me silently struggling in that line. She could’ve decided I was a scam and gone home feeling good about avoiding being duped. But instead she chose to help me and she saved us. So maybe the person struggling in front of you is trying to put one over on you or maybe they are just sad and broke and trying to figure out what to do. You get to decide which you want to believe and what you want to do. But I’ll tell y’all, no one has ever been more beautiful to me than that lady in that line who saved me and my baby. Be like her. Be beautiful.

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29-pieces
Do good recklessly

DO BETTER. BE BETTER. STRIVE TO BE BETTER.

DO GOOD RECKLESSLY

One time, my dad and I were living the grocery store and there was a guy outside asking for money to buy some stuff to take home for his kids. It was around Christmas time. My dad asked him if he could give him groceries instead of money, and the guy immediately said yes, so my dad gave him one of everything we bought (meat, rice, some chocolates, milk, oil). At that time, my dad hadn’t gotten his paycheck because the company he worked for was going through a tough time, but he didn’t care, he saw an opportunity to help someone and he did.

Another time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said that “whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”.

I never forget that.

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tisfan

“whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”

louder, for the people in the back

i saw this post a while ago and painted this right after. it’s been sitting right by my bed ever since and it’s the first thing i look at every morning, and life has honestly been a lot better recently

its better to be recklessly good than cautiously awful

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outtagum
A quarter of a century after leaving Neverland and the stars of Hook have recreated their look to mark the film’s 25th anniversary

THIS IS THE CUTEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN I DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK CAUSE CUTENESS

Source: outtagum
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@staff are you fucking kidding me right now?! You’re limiting text posts to 100 text blocks (aka paragraphs). What the absolute fuck.

Since you couldn’t take out fanfic writers with the purge so you’re just fucking up formatting for text posts until they leave? Is that your plan?

Would this count as a text block?

100 is a lot unless you write a lot of dialogue.  I wonder if just linking fics on my word press would work because god damn this site is making things difficult.  It’s like they’re trying to have people not use it.

I’m so over this shithole

Does Tumblr just have it out for Fanfic writers? Is the Tumblr staff secretly Anne Rice or something?

FFS you’re joking me?

yeah I noticed this, and I completely hate it lmao because I do write a lot of dialogue and I write small paragraphs for easy readability ): I might have to post everything on AO3 and just link it on here :/

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wckdmazes

Well, this is the new tea and I hate it.

Gettin’ real tired of your shit, Tumblr.

FUCK YOU @staff

Welp. So this is a thing now.

The title apparently counts as one line since it wouldn’t let me go past 99.

Seriously @staff ????

OK PEOPLE CALM DOWN FOR A MIN!!!

I tired this on desktop and did not hit a limit. It looks like a limitation of mobile posts.

I didn’t bother going past 543 because it was getting ridiculous, but there is no 100 block limit on desktop. You’re just going to have to post your fics on your computer or through your mobile browser instead of the app.

Please reblog this version of the post so that people don’t totally freak out

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I work at a daycare with infants.

One of our baby girls is fat, in the 99th percentile for her age. She is super cute and sweet. Lately, she has been sick with various breathing issues, so she has been reluctant to take her bottles. Normally, she’ll take 4 ounces of formula at lunch and 8 ounces in the afternoon. Today, I was lucky to get to her take 5 all day.

There was a substitute covering a lunch break in my classroom today. We emphasized to her that we need to keep trying to get the baby to drink her bottle until she finished it. She said, “Why are you guys so worried about taking her bottle?”

My coworker replied, “That’s where all her nutrients are. She needs the nutrients and the water.”

To which the substitute replied, “But she’s so fat. She doesn’t need it.”

Thin privilege is a small, pretty baby getting better childcare because the caretaker doesn’t think she’s too fat to be allowed to eat.

This reminds me of a cousin of mine who ended up with her kids being taken away from her by social services for a number of reasons but mostly for nearly killing her baby daughter. How?

By starving her. She insisted that her baby was ‘too fat’ and had an aim to remove any and all ‘chubbyness’ so her baby would be thin. She’d already been warned by her doctor about the baby not getting enough food, but insisted she knew best.

After several months of this her baby passed out cold one day and was rushed into hospital where the doctors found her to have severe malnutrition, a low body temperature and low pulse rate. They asked my cousin what she’d been feeding her daughter and she said “one bottle of skimmed milk a day. I don’t want her growing up fat.”

Even after nearly killing her daughter my cousin maintained her view that fat = bad and ended up with all her kids taken from her because she was starving them and neglecting them.

When your fatphobia leads you to starving your own children then you’ve got serious problems.

(Note. She still, to this day, maintains the view that she was right and the doctors were wrong. “They just want fat kids so they can keep employed treating them for all those diseases that being fat causes.” = her actual words.)

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sinthiasweet

My mom had me dieting with her when I was eleven. She had me eating less than 600 calories a day because she was worried I was going to “get huge.” She even grounded me once because she found out my friends were bringing me lunches! I ended up passing out, going to the ER, and getting two IVs at once BC I was so goddamn dehydrated. Soooooo surprised they didn’t call child services… And looking back, this was the root of my anorexia. I’m nearly 22 and still fighting it. Please don’t starve your fucking children.

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viergacht

For fucks sake babies are SUPPOSED to be fat, what is wrong with people? It’s just stored energy, and growing children need stored energy - an 11 year old is just about to hit some major growing years. Damn. 

Fatphobia

Is

Real

and it kills

This is no joke. people will literally starve their own babies cause they don’t want them getting fat. A parent brought in their six month old baby who was having breathing issues and kept getting sick. the parent was asked if the baby was eating regularly and the parent straight up told the doctor that they only feed the baby once a day. ONCE A DAY. A FUCKING BABY. they even had the nerve to say because they didn’t want the baby to get fat. people like this are real. they would rather have a dead baby than a fat one.

My youngest son is a very big boy and has been since he was born. When he was 10 months old I took him for his well-baby check and vaccinations. The nurse noted his weight and said, quite casually, “He is in the 99th percentile for weight so he is at risk for obesity. You may want to keep an eye on that.” I said, “He is exclusively breastfed. He refuses to eat any solids yet.” What did she expect me to do? What would it mean to “keep an eye on” an exclusively breastfed baby’s weight? 

She backed off saying, ‘Well he looks fine!” – proving once again that weight bias is not truly about health – But I know many other parents who are not as informed as I am about weight science and size diversity would react to this interaction by policing their child’s food intake, if not as an infant, then when he was an older child. This is exactly the type of seemingly-inconsequential interaction that starts the ball rolling on a lifetime of dieting, disordered eating, negative body image, and weight-based abuse for too many fat people.

Years later when he was five, another doctor measured his weight and height and commented that he is off the charts on both, but “at least he is in proportion.” And if he was not “in proportion,” I am sure I would have been advised once again to “watch his weight.” 

I no longer allow healthcare providers to weight my children unless it is absolutely medically necessary. They are unable to control their weight talk, which is a known harm for children.

We need to completely eliminate weight talk from medicine, especially when it comes to children. Even the smallest exposure can have terrible consequences.

Wtf…

A friend from college had been going to the doctor because she was having trouble breathing. She was told to lose weight. Over the course of several years, she went back to the doctors time and time again, telling them that she’d been sticking to the diet but because of her breathing problems she had been unable to even walk for more than 20 minutes at a time. The doctor got her into an exercise programme and told her that she just needed to really try to lose weight because that was clearly the reason for her breathing problems. By the time they found the tumour on her lungs, it was inoperable. She only lived three months after diagnosis. She was 25. She’d had the tumour for over five years. The doctor was so focused on the fact that my friend was “fat”, that they refused to look for any underlying cause. They killed her.

Weight-first treatment KILLS. Fatphobia KILLS.

I have 2 scary stories to share about fatphobic doctors & parents harming their childs/patients’ health:

1. The 4 years old daughter of a friend of mine came to our house to spend the weekend. She gave me a letter from her mom that said that the child was in a glutenfree diet because she was getting ‘awfully fat’ when eating cookies or bread (my celiac ass; who gets dhiarrea and loses a scary amount of weight whenever I eat something with gluten was like ’???’).

You can bet that I went to the supermarket with the kid and told her ‘go & take whatever you feel like eating’ and the poor child came back smiling with her arms full of biscuits and cupcakes.

She didn’t got sick (as a celiac would get) and told me later that she hated the diet her mother made her follow; because her cousins didn’t had to pass through that.

And what’s the scariest thing about this story? Her mother was a NURSE. A fucking nurse who didn’t have a clue of the harm that she was doing to her daughter’s body!

2. My little sister started to feel fatigued and dizzy at 9 years old. She felt nauseated at the sight of food and had abdominal pain that increased with physical activity.

Mom got her to the ER and the doctor dismissed it saying: ‘she’s fat and probably is feeling ill after eating too much burgers, get her to make some exercise and she will be better in no time’.My mom didn’t felt ok with the diagnosis and took my sister with a second doctor who also told her that ‘the child was just fat’.

My sister’s skin was starting to get yellow as the days passed and the abdominal pain was getting awful so my mom (heaven bless her!) got her to the ER for the third time:

SHE HAD STAGE 4 HEPATITIS AND WAS ABOUT TO DIE.

She survived after a long and painful recovery who involved being in bed for a whole year (remember that we’re speaking of a 9 years old child). Luckily they saved her liver and she didn’t went through a transplant… but let this sink:

If it weren’t for my mother, fatphobia would have killed her. Fatphobia kills kids and teenagers, fatphobia kills inocent people everyday. It treats human beings as lesser than others and hurts them in their most vulnerable times.

It’s a real shame that we all have so much stories to share about this issue. A REAL SHAME.

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agreekdoctor

Future doctors, interns, and residents following me:

FUCKING TAKE NOTE OF THIS!

Don’t let bias against your fat patients kill them!

i’d really like my thin followers to reblog this if you can. fat people are already here for each other, we need you guys to help us out too. this is something i never see anyone actually talking about in-depth, and it’s disappointing. be there for your fat siblings, too.

It’s crazy how the biggest sin of this world is not murder or drug abuse or cheating. The worst sin you can ever do is be fat or poor. God forbid you are both..

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zarb

It took me less than 5 minutes to sign up here! Nielsen is completely legit. They already pay people to watch TV, now they’re gonna pay me to watch vine compilations… I’m truly living in 3018 y’all

@ all my followers who want easy money

Nielsen is amazing and I completely vouch for them. Pro-tip: to make the most money, you guys should join the panel on your computer AND your phone because they pay for each device that you connect. You can expect to earn about $50 from a single device. Nielsen also gives away $10,000 EACH MONTH. All you have to do is keep the app on your computer and you’ll be entered into their monthly sweepstakes. The top prize earners take home $1,000 each, and 400 people win cash prizes.

To everyone worried about what data they collect, this is from their website:

TL;DR they only want to know what websites you visit, and how much time you spend on these sites. They NEVER collect sensitive data such as usernames, passwords, login information, bank, or credit card information. So if you could use some extra cash, you honestly have nothing to lose. Google already collects (and sells) your data, the difference is that Nielsen wants to pay you.

They’ve been a trusted name since the 1920s, first measuring what radio stations peopled tuned into, next getting into television ratings, and now they want to measure the popularity of websites and online videos. So yes, you can quite literally get paid to watch youtube videos. What a time to be alive indeed.

You can also get paid for watching TV. My girlfriends parents have Nielson and they stand by it.

Source: zarb
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There’s something that I fundamentally don’t understand about Article 13.

It doesn’t simply protect copyrighted content, it will also absolutely impact the bottom line of these big businesses too. This is how I see it.

 Here’s my current fandom:

How did I get into Kingsman? Was it because I saw a trailer for it on TV and thought, “Hey, I should see that.”

Nope. It was via online fandom content almost two years after Kingsman: The Secret Service was released. I never would’ve given it the time of day if not for gifsets and fanfic that I saw and read before I’d even seen the movie. But I saw those things first, so the movie then caught my interest, and I watched it. Legally. I ended up purchasing movie tickets for the sequel, I bought the movies on Blu-ray, I bought some official Kingsman merchandise (don’t judge me), and I even spent a little money on one of the official Kingsman mobile games (like 20 dolla, and I’m not proud of it). 

I spend a significant part of my online time interacting in the orbit of the Kingsman fandom. I look forward to the third movie (the actual third movie, not this weird prequel thing…ugh). I will actively spend money on the movie and probably some official merchandise when it’s released too. I also have an interest in the actors from the movie and legally seek out their other work (even Robin Hood, haaaa). Meaning I intend to SPEND MONEY on things related to Kingsman because fandom content keeps my interest going long beyond its official release. Fandom content is often what will catch my interest in the first place.

My fandom before Kingsman?

When I got into Marvel/Captain America, how do you think that happened?

Did I see trailers before other movies? TV commercials? Was it because of people I knew in real life who enjoyed it? Nope. I rarely see any promotional material for things because I don’t normally take in content in the traditional way (the same as most other Millennials and Gen Z, I’d wager). I knew of them, obviously, because they’re insanely popular. But I didn’t give a shit.

I didn’t give a lick about Marvel and it wasn’t until I saw some fan commentary and gifsets on Tumblr/in fan spaces of Captain America: The Winter Soldier that I was like, “Oooh, this sounds interesting. I need to watch this.”

And I watched it. Legally. And I bought it. Legally. And I went out and legally watched everything else Marvel. I bought legal/licensed Marvel merchandise. I bought Marvel comics, ffs. Do you think I cared about comics before that? At this point, I’ve probably spent a good few hundred dollars on Marvel related content. Probably closer to $1000 than $100. And that’s mild compared to some people! 

Do you think I would’ve done any of that if I hadn’t first seen fan created content that technically uses copyrighted material?

I sure the fuck would not. I would’ve gone on not caring about it at all.

My point is, Article 13 is so fucking short-sighted. Fandom and creative content made by people not associated with these businesses often makes or breaks that content. How many people do you think got into Marvel the same way I did? How many millions of dollars have people spent on Marvel related merchandise because fandom content fostered their interest way beyond “See it in the movie theatre, then go home and forget about it?” 

Here’s another example for the other end of the spectrum:

Avatar. The James Cameron movie. It made $2.7 billion at the box office worldwide. That’s nice. But does anyone really give a shit about it? I’ve never seen it. Don’t have any desire to see it or the supposed upcoming sequels. The only online content I see about it? Mocks it. There is no fandom. 

To compare fandoms on Ao3:

No one gives a shit. No one is looking for Avatar. Maybe the sequels will do well, I’m not a psychic. I have no idea. But my point is, there is no longevity there. No one is looking for official Avatar merchandise. No one is creating works about it that keeps interest going years after it was released. And continued interest means continued profit.

So Avatar did really, really well at the box office. Exceptionally well. And then?

Are people buying Avatar clothing? Books? Mugs, tchotchkes, spending thousands of dollars to meet the cast and creators at conventions? Special editions of the movies? Collector’s items?

Google “Avatar pop” and what do you think comes up? Pop! figures for the Avatar movie? Nope. There aren’t any. Are there Pop! figures for Avatar: The Last Airbender, which has a healthy online fandom presence? Yep.

Supernatural is an excellent example as well. A small show on a struggling network. Isn’t it on season 247 at this point? What do you think helped it last as long as it has? All that sweet network promo? The A-List status of its stars (hahahaha)? 

HAAAAA! NO! It’s the fucking fan content! All the fanvids, fanfic, artwork, gifsets, commentary, discussions, meta, and beyond. All those creations get seen by hundreds, thousands of people who may have never heard of it before. But it’s that kind of content that sparks an interest. If you’re in that fandom, think of the coolest piece of art (or the best fanfic), that’s what inspires people to seek something out. That’s what cultivates an interest for years, including purchasing god knows what for god knows how much money. Terribly photoshopped ~official~ promo pictures and a couple commercials ain’t gonna do it. 

Does the below image make me go “LOL WHAT? wats happening? wats going on? wat is this????”

Ya. Dark, morbid, funny. Sounds interesting…

Does the below official image make me go, “Oooh, gotta watch whatever that is!”

It sure the fuck does not. Sorry Jensen Ackles, you’re good looking and all, but nah. Can’t say I have any interest in whatever that is. WHY ARE YOU IN A CAGE? WHAT IS THAT CHAIN FOR? help me i’m scared

ANYWAY. Which content style above is going to inspire and cultivate enough of a longterm interest that people are willing to buy board games, clothing, jewelry, DVD sets, magazines, go to conventions, buy god knows what else, and spread the word about the show? For over a decade? It ain’t the second picture, I can tell you that much.

Fan content creates new fans and cultivates longterm interest which earns big businesses more money.

That is one of many reasons why Article 13 is shit. For fan content creators and for big business. It’s not a threat to the big business bottom line, it’s free promotion. 

solarrift

I BEG YOU. DO NOT SCROLL PAST THIS.

Need the EU’s Directive on Copyright Article 13 explained to you or a friend in a different way you might get? READ OP’s post now and pass it on!

This is how I get most of my binge content.

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