Me choosing what to remove from my inventory when I’m carrying too much:

Coworker: I hate coffee. I’d rather have an energy drink.

listening to phil collins

I hope that all internet content is obliterated except for this video

every episode of kitchen nightmares

Ramsey: and the ice, is that made in house? Waiter: no.. frozen Ramsey: fuck me

*lightning strikes in front of me in public* 

a girl: that was so scary!! 

me: *shakes head* was just a cheap jump scare.. not true horror

I listened to this more than once.

cool advice from dark souls

druid taking a walk

me, trying to spell something in french: uhhhhhh i think that’s enough vowels the french language: youe fooule…. youe insouelente cowèurde

It is scientifically impossible not to read this with a French accent

bartender, i would like one sippy of beer. thank you.

Old timey wizard in a tower but instead of doing spells and alchemy he crams new and exciting flavors that have no business being on a chip into pringles

Bran Muffin Pringles

at the local wendy's

me: hi can i just get a cheeseburger

geddy lee behind the counter: what you want is not what you need. the the wizard’s curse will make you bleed

me: okay uh, i’ll get a salad then

geddy lee: those leaves of green you shall not kiss, they are coated in the wizard’s piss

me: please geddy i’m so hungry

Oblivion NPC Dialogue.avi