new blog @shimadalove follow me there

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

how many hands you got

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

allow me illustrate you

that’s still four people

i truly can’t make this any clearer

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

don’t know what you’re on about. will smith and slightly wider blue will smith have been married for years. they’re a hollywood love story

Every post on reddit is like “my wife left me, so i spent 100000 on a new man cave” and there’s always a storm trooper of some kind in the room. Ive seen this happen so often on reddit that now i associate storm troopers and the entire star wars universe with divorce.

may divorce be with you

I’m divorced and I don’t give a shit about star wars

That’s fantastic man

“yeehaw” is actually code for “gay rights”

Most feral people on Earth:

You could just say “artists celebrating” and leave it at that

actually this is misleading because theater kids aren’t people

E

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.

No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.

Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.

For those who need to carry it into 2019.

this was the weirdest movie ever.

shrek 2 was the highest grossing film of 2004 and is the 26th highest grossing film of all time

hey quick question

what the FUCK is this and why is it like the second google image result for fenris

WAIT I KNOW WHAT THIS REMINDS ME OF

UH OH SISTERS!!! [fists a man to death]

reblog if ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

advice to all the kids following me: when you turn 18 people are gonna try and tell you to buy porn or cigarettes because you can, fuck that. you know what else it legal to buy at 18? blades. get yourself a damn sword. a big knife is also okay.