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Chef Confessions

@chefconfessions / chefconfessions.tumblr.com

It takes a special kind of crazy to like cooking professionally. But sometimes we still need to bitch things out. Have a confession to make or a question we can help you with? Send it to me. My queue is about two weeks long currently.

Can I get an Eggless Omelette?

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omgitzemg

How I feel when severs ask dumb questions

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rice-fan

This is not an exaggeration… Not in the slightest

Ha! This makes me laugh every time I see it. And unfortunately, we do have young kids working in FOH and BOH who say stuff like this.

this was literally every single server we had on the floor tonight if anyone was wondering why I”m so drunk right now

Mother’s Day is my least favorite holiday for a lot of reasons, but…. We have a 600+ head banquet today.

God speed to all my fellow kitchen folk.

Get that coffee, stay hydrated, and don’t die on line.

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itsaverydistinctiveblog

We usually do about 250 covers per day. We have 600 reservations just for brunch. Good luck today everyone!

For the past two years we’ve 86d our whole menu. This year the chefs decided to stick with the special menu…. I can’t wait to be right when we’re ill prepared for that too. They also only scheduled themselves for brunch. There’s two of them and about three hundred covers. I’m happy to report nobody can hear their crys of help until two. The owner will probably be pissing himself at the bar.

Anyone ever had something like this happen to them?

Nope. Never happened to me> (straightens collar, and looks around nervously)

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gmeerkitten

One of our servers on her first day ever was making ten gallons of ranch in the large mixer. Someone left the mixer on setting ten, the highest setting for that model. She turned it on. Ranch on the ceiling, ranch on the floor, ranch on the walls, ranch ALL OVER this poor little 5’ teenage girl. She sobbed for like twenty minutes. Thank god chef wasn’t there that day her job woulda been over.

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cranface

We call that “reverse prepping”.

I spilled 5 gallons of scrams all over the walk in one time

What’s scrams?

Dropped a full drum of swiss chocolate sauce in the walk in 

it literally just exploded everywhere

and that shit is too thick to mop up but too liquid to scoop up, I had to transfer my tables to someone else because it took me legit two hours to clean. 

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tell-it-to-your-mom

That looks just like my walk in…now I’m wondering

Let us know when you figure out which coworker did it lol

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chefstylista

@gmeerkitten “Someone left the mixer on setting ten, the highest setting for that model.” Happened to me! I was gonna make 10Kg of Poolish. Gosh! SPLAT EVERYWHERE! Good thing my sous chef wasn’t there! I was an intern then at the Hotel. 😒

It’s definitely happened to me and I got flour everywhere so now I always check it before I start and also turn it down to one whenever I walk by and notice it’s higher.

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intimatelyinsane

Someone forgot to put the lid back on all the way and I was lifting the container to get the one under it and the entire thing spilled all over everything else including the wall and the floor, it was honey mustard.

Nothing compares to dropping hot Demi and burning yourself just a bit 😠

Everyone should be required to work in a restaurant at least once in their lives

Maybe in college or something, so they know how hard it is, both FOH and BOH; so they understand why it takes a little longer to get their meals when the restaurant is slammed.  Even for just a week or something, just so they can get some idea.  Because customers are just so fucking clueless.

This just keeps getting more true as time goes on.

Working in a kitchen and slowly working on avoiding caffeine is fucking rough. 60 days to form a habbit. I need to get my shit together and get “healthy”

Over 48 hours without any caffeine and honestly I’m tired but not dying

5 days now. Got up at 8am to play ice hockey before work sunday and still felt great at the end of the day 14 hours later

2 weeks with no caffeine and these fuckers have saved my life

Props! I’m trying to cut back my soda habit and its. so. fucking. hard. :(

It sucked at first but at this point I don’t even want soda anymore.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could drink flavored sparkling waters, just to have some bubbles at least. All the flavored waters I've tried are just not good to me.

this was a real show 

Reblogged this before but have a point to make that's been bugging me.

I've been noticing lately that stories (ok fanfictions) I've been reading have a character get distracted for like 5 minutes and bam! their food in the oven is burnt to the point where it's inedible and/or the smoke detector is going off.

FOOD IS NOT NEARLY THAT TIME SENSITIVE PEOPLE. Unless maybe the oven is set to broil/ it's in the salamander.

I just got a car and started driving again so I was thinking about some safety things for D/deaf/HoH drivers. One huge concern is the possibility of being pulled over and encountering the police.

I have a magnet similar to this on my car in case of that situation

I also keep a notepad and pen in my glove box with my insurance card and registration. I keep everything is in one place so I won’t have to reach around and look like i’m searching for “something”

—-

I also found this article with more information—

Too many deaf folks have been killed by police, already. Stay safe!

(Hearing people are encouraged to reblog)

Someone sent back a salad today because “the blue cheese is moldy”… …

Hahahahahaha!!! Oh my goodness this job really changes your opinion on the average person…

Doesn’t it though? lmfao

So much! Usually for the worst, unfortunately… And people send things back for the most idiotic reasons and expect discounts… I had a table tell me the kid din’t like his food, no good reason, just that he took one bite and didnt like it, so they didn’t want to pay for it. I just wanted to be like “Dude, he made the choice, and you let him, I’m not giving you free food because you haven’t taught your child to live with his decisions,” but then I remembered I need their money, so…

Someone sent back a salad today cause it has too much lettuce, isn’t that the main ingredient

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colossalchef

Mothers day brunch “one and a half egg omelette with 7 pieces of broccoli and mayo instead of cheese”

Pray tell how does one cut an egg in half?

“This mushroom risotto tastes like mushrooms”

How is it not common sense that if an ingredient is in the item name that means it’s got a starring role in the dish??

My favorite customer complaint I remember hearing was that our rib special “had no love in it” and my buddy said “that’s because we cook with spite and anger”.

This ^^^^^^^^

Ah, rage. Line cook fuel. Smells like sleep deprivation and “Kitchen Bouquet.” Tastes better than the tears of angels.

I had a customer the other day want a full refund because their beef was a little too salty and had too much cheese. They literally ordered nachos. Lol.

One of my customers sent back an Asian Chicken Salad because she’s vegetarian and she didn’t know that it came with chicken.

Had a guy send back a steak and mash potatoes coz he didn’t realise that we season the steak and that our mashed potatoes had cream and butter in them. The guy literally threw a temper tantrum and threatened our servers.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen mashed potatoes without at least one of the two in them…? Like wouldn’t that be a baked potato?

And hellooo it’s a restaurant. We season everything.

I get plenty of requests for steamed veggies (no seasoning, just literally in water) cuz people know we use seasonings...

Someone sent back a salad today because “the blue cheese is moldy”… …

Hahahahahaha!!! Oh my goodness this job really changes your opinion on the average person…

Doesn’t it though? lmfao

So much! Usually for the worst, unfortunately… And people send things back for the most idiotic reasons and expect discounts… I had a table tell me the kid din’t like his food, no good reason, just that he took one bite and didnt like it, so they didn’t want to pay for it. I just wanted to be like “Dude, he made the choice, and you let him, I’m not giving you free food because you haven’t taught your child to live with his decisions,” but then I remembered I need their money, so…

Someone sent back a salad today cause it has too much lettuce, isn’t that the main ingredient

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colossalchef

Mothers day brunch “one and a half egg omelette with 7 pieces of broccoli and mayo instead of cheese”

Pray tell how does one cut an egg in half?

“This mushroom risotto tastes like mushrooms”

How is it not common sense that if an ingredient is in the item name that means it’s got a starring role in the dish??

My favorite customer complaint I remember hearing was that our rib special “had no love in it” and my buddy said “that’s because we cook with spite and anger”.

This ^^^^^^^^

Ah, rage. Line cook fuel. Smells like sleep deprivation and “Kitchen Bouquet.” Tastes better than the tears of angels.

I had a customer the other day want a full refund because their beef was a little too salty and had too much cheese. They literally ordered nachos. Lol.

One of my customers sent back an Asian Chicken Salad because she’s vegetarian and she didn’t know that it came with chicken.

Had a guy send back a steak and mash potatoes coz he didn’t realise that we season the steak and that our mashed potatoes had cream and butter in them. The guy literally threw a temper tantrum and threatened our servers.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen mashed potatoes without at least one of the two in them…? Like wouldn’t that be a baked potato?

And hellooo it’s a restaurant. We season everything.

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dawn0star

we had a table send back a burger split last night because it “didn’t taste quite the same as last time”. not “it wasnt good”. it didnt taste the same. one bite out of each side. into the garbage. god i hate the rich

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harpyhormones

im honestly disappointed that the raw water thing faded from public consciousness without us hearing about even a single insane rich fuck dying of some medieval disease

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