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@iknowiwillregretthis-blog / iknowiwillregretthis-blog.tumblr.com

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sweatybrandon
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setheverman

when your boss tells a dumb offensive joke but you really need the job

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setheverman

posting this was honestly the worst thing i’ve ever done. not only do people think that’s my actual unedited face, but several people have sent me messages asking, with no hint of irony, if i’m doing okay. two people said i looked good here????

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obv10usly
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giovannafletcher1

Five years ago we got hitched and had the most amazing day celebrating our love with family and friends. 2 children and a total of 15 published books between us later - it’s fair to say it’s been a chaotic 5 years and that this day seems a distant memory… but what a delightful and special one it is! Happy 5th wedding anniversary @tomfletcher!! You are my rock, my best friend, my very own court jester! Thanks for the last five years of love, laughter, and putting up with me!!! Xxx http://ift.tt/2qcV3GO

#fletchers
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sweatybrandon
carrionflowerkin

friendly reminder that keeping plants in your house without their permission is slavery and kidnapping :)

I honestly can not tell what’s serious anymore on this godforsaken website.

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sweatybrandon

things ive heard people say in class:

  • “what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
  • “is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 
  • “let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
  • in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
  • “what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
  • “in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
  • “did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
  • “wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??”
  • *scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 
  • “i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
  • in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
  • “don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
  • “i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
  • “fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
  • in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
  • “i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
  • “i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”
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