"you're my happy ending"

mishapocalypse 2: electric homophobia

vintage 2020 right here

this episode: happens

destiel shippers who haven’t watched the show in years:

I feel like everyone worships avocado and I’m struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I’m all alone in this world

what is the january mood?

*male celebrities worrying about getting their career ruined*

all of us:

2017 didn’t even feel like a year it was just the 2016 Deluxe™ Expansion Pack.

Schrödinger’s vaguepost

this is the twitter equivalent of the sound of a gun cocking in an unlit parking garage

today on “weirdly specific but extremely relatable goodwill finds”

every time i open this app i read some dumb ass shit

And every time we kiss I swear I can fly

me: ur ugly

me, to myself: okay but did i ask?

A man walked by me while I was working and now the floor suddenly feels wet?? Should I be alarmed??

how do people get yelled at without crying i dont understand

Don’t hire this cleaning service

i will hire this cleaning service immediately, don’t tell me what to do

Mads Mikkelsen and Hideo Kojima are two different aliens who don’t know the other is an alien, simultaneously trying to understand how humans work from each other

“You look good in your outfit today.”

“Thanks the flesh is my own.”

“[hideo on twitter later] I have noticed Mads has wonderful skin, do you agree?”