the questions of marriage will come one day, after your 25th birthday. before the sun sets fully on the day of your birth. Up until then you will have been told to be careful of men. to be weary. to cover your body so as not to attract their eyes and wanton desire.
you’ll have been taught modesty. of the way Aisha (ra) made her voice heavy in the presence of men, her voice thick as though muffled by stone. the way earlier women (in modesty and faith) draped their bodies in clothes four times their size.
you’ll have learnt to speak firmly, to not laugh too often or too loud. to keep your knees pressed together when you sit. to never be alone in the company of a man (other than those who were family) without a third party.
and then one day, the questions will come. ‘don’t you want to marry?’, ‘you are getting old now’, ‘a woman is not like a man, a man can father a child at any age’. you will be blindsided, but they will keep coming.
and you will want to tell them to stop. to ask how they expect you now, 25 years of quite chastity, to bring a man home. that you do not know how to go out and find him and you are not even sure that you want to yet. you’ll want to tell them that you do not have a sell-by-date. that 25 is not the pinnacle of your worth. and that maybe you are happy enough, in your solitude. in your learning and growing.
you’ll want to tell them all of these things, but deep down, you will know it is easier not to. and you will say the only thing that you can. the only thing that fits and go on planning your life as you feel right:
“InshaAllah”, “if Allah wills”