Another one of Sean’s edits. I promise I won’t steal all his pictures (I will always give him credit) but this is my favorite song in the world.

I was talking with my friend’s mom tonight and after she told me she and her husband are about to celebrate their 30th anniversary, I asked her what the key to having a successful marriage is. This was her answer:

Two pioneers in separate ships reach the same piece of land....

This injustice renders my thoughts ineffectual. Forgive me, Lover, and forget my sullen face. Privilege brings us to this place of human currencies. (We) buried our sisters in a glass display, only to evaporate to a toxic skyline - underneath we sell off the bodies. My body became a graveyard where they buried thirsty souls. Show me your righteous leader; I’ll show you the bullet holes. The preacher[i] with the parched tongue and the “God” that he controls: “Shake off the sin! Shake off the sin!” And spit out your cacophony of lies. I’ll climb through your screen and bleed out the image you left in me.[ii] But God, are you man? Then how do you see me? From where you sit up in heaven[iii], looking down on my hell. My body chokes back. “I have nothing to draw with and the well is deep - where can I get living water?”[iv] Enslaved in the “Land of the Free”[v] - my prison is our wedding bed where you left me for dead. You’ll leave us for dead. Apathy was our anchor to a digital sea[vi] where you drown in the comfort of our complicity. Can Love save me? Will Your wrath avenge us?[vii] –––––––––––––––––––––– i. Our sister’s captor; Several famous pastor types – names omitted for legal reasons ii. Sex slaves forced into pornography, speaking back to our collective male gaze. iii. Psalm 115:3; 139:8 iv. John 4:11 v. America vi. Thrice, 2007 vii. Deuteronomy 32:35

  I don’t think I’ve ever really met anyone who is living out of a full cup.

What I mean is: Everyone lives a lot further ahead than they really are, giving advice they don’t follow and loving others without any love for themselves and running on empty all the time....

My mom asks me what it’s like to be a pastor, and how hard it must be to get so involved with so many lives. She says, “It has to be like living with a bunch of people all at once” — and that was probably the best description I’ve heard of ministry.

At one point my mom says,...

A storm is approaching. I know cause I called it on. I’ll catch up lovers in my wake that I’ll consume and throw away, because there’s no woman i could love more than myself. And that’s why i still sleep alone. Good G-D I’m so empty now but no one found out and i never touched her. But I’m trusting less in my defense of there’s no difference in the things that happen in my head and happen in my bed Oh G-D… I’m shaking like a leaf. For twenty seven years now I’ve been waiting. For twenty seven years now I’ve been keeping my end. But every single gift I ever gave You was just a bribe so i could get You to give me what I wanted. It’s all kisses and silver. I never cared for innocence just the appearance. If only You’d wash me because I can’t see the stains. My G-D, I am so scared because I’m fractured but I don’t feel the breaks. Have I loved too many daughters to ever be whole? I’m ashamed that You love me. Please send grace for the hearts that i stole.

Its rare to find an adventure video without a cliche narrative about “searching & finding,” “the evils of urban society,” or “giving up material pursuits for ‘The Stoke’ or ‘The Rush’.”

"The Coast" is a unique combination of beautiful imagery and a meaningful message that doesn’t hit you over the head.

Enjoy.

(via korduroy.tv)

I spent the last half hour trying to find this video. (I’m on my phone)

I have been getting messages from people who are heartbroken, either someone broke up with them, or the love of their life is dating someone else. The list goes on, and I wish I could speak life into each of you. But that would be impossible, so I hope this video helps in some way.

I cannot save you from the pain, and it will hurt for a while, but know that you are not alone in the storm. That is the sweetest comfort I can give, is to tell you that Christ is with you always.

So if you are up late because of the sorrow in your heart, I pray that God speaks to you.

You are incredibly loved.

3 Lessons I Learned Instantly In My First Week of Marriage (That I’ll Need For Life)

They say everyone gets a honeymoon period at the start of your marriage, but whoever brandished that idea: I want a refund.

Marriage is hard work right out of the gate. Our sentimental ideas about romance get tossed out very, very quickly — and I want you to be ready. Everyone told me what to expect, but no matter how much you prepare, it’s still a jump in the deep end. The more you know about what’s coming, the quicker you can stand on your two feet.

I know that marriage isn’t for everyone (contrary to our culture, singleness is not an illness), but whether you’re not in the dating scene or you’ve been married for years, here are three things I learned instantly in the first week of marriage. These lessons could be valuable and necessary for our entire journey.

1) Marriage pulls down the hologram and brings about the gritty reality of your spouse (and yourself too).

My wife and I dated for six years before we were married, and in those six years, I have never heard her pass gas once. I would constantly tell her that it was okay, but my wife was dead-set on maintaining an air of elegance. No pun intended.

About four days into the marriage, on a wonderful crisp morning in Florida, I asked my wife, “Are you boiling eggs?”

She said, “No. I’m not boiling eggs.”

“Are the sprinklers on outside?”

“No. The sprinklers are not on.”

“But then what’s that sm—”

And it hit me. Pun intended.

[By the way, I have my wife’s permission to share this story. I’m proud to say that she now regularly passes gas around me with the most exuberant freedom.]

In dating, we’re often on our best behavior. It’s like a job interview, where both sides show off their impressive benefits and credentials. In marriage, you see the rough, raw edges of the entire person. Marriage creates perhaps the closest proximity you will ever have with another human being. You’ll see every insecurity and neurotic tendency. There will be friction.

This is more than just about keeping up a pretty image.

It’s also a way of learning how to love an entire person and not just the parts that you like.

In Timothy Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage, he discusses how we each have fault lines in our hearts, like the cracks of a great bridge. These fault lines get exposed when we collide with another person, so that we spill anger or jealousy or anxiety. A married couple, because they’re so close in space, will inevitably drive a truck through each other’s hearts: which exposes all the fault lines. Deep-seated flaws will shake out of us like shaking a tree in the autumn. It’s in this exposure that we can choose to face our flaws, so that they would be re-shaped by the love we share. The sooner, the better.

You’ll also see every dream, hope, talent, passion, and ambition in your spouse. You’ll see what lights them up and gets them excited. This means that marriage is often about showing grace for your spouse’s worst and promoting their very best. Love sees a greatness in someone who cannot see it in themselves. And if marriage is one of the most intimate unions in the universe, then it has the power to encourage a person beyond their self-imposed limits. Though this can happen in many types of relationships, marriage offers a profound intensity to spiritual growth. Finally, we can pull down our holograms of who we pretend to be, and actually become the people we were meant to be.

2) Marriage means your stuff isn’t your stuff anymore.

In our first week, we didn’t fly off to the honeymoon, which was another two weeks away. We spent time unpacking, opening wedding gifts, frolicking in our new home, and merging our lives together. About five days in, I wanted to meet up a friend to hang out, one of the groomsmen in the wedding.

I neglected to tell this to my wife. This is one of those very obvious things that I should’ve known from the get-go: but in my defense, I’m an idiot.

Marriage is about Two-As-One, as We instead of Me. My time was no longer my own. It was our time. Our things. Our bank account. Our bed. Again, this sounds obvious, but I’ve spoken with so many singles and unmarried couples who were dismayed at the idea of splitting a life in half. No one is quite prepared to completely surrender unilateral decisions. We quickly learn why Apostle Paul compared our relationship with God to the marriage union — because we are entrusting our will to another.

The wonderful advantage is that rather than “splitting in half,” it actually feels more like a merging of strength. Our individual abilities can make up for each other’s weaknesses. Our knowledge and our view on life is suddenly augmented with an entirely new angle. By the end of the week, I was figuring out what she would want and why, which helped my tiny brain to open to new avenues I had never considered.

While both dating and engagement can offer the benefit of unified minds, the promise of marriage solidifies an active undercurrent of cooperation. There’s now a lifelong goal: for the health of the couple, and not what works for “me,” but for We. What works for you as an individual might be good, but what works for the couple turns out to be great. It’s not half plus half, nor is it one plus one, but with grace and synergy equates to an exponential growth of each other’s hearts.

3) Marriage means there’s nowhere to run: except towards each other.

Our first argument in the first week was different than any argument we ever had.

When we were dating, our conflicts were always able to be delayed. A few days of separation could cool us off. The problems might come back, but a little bit of distance smoothed things over. We could just bury it and move on.

Now we have no such apparatus.

No buffer, no denial, no escape.

We could either go to bed angry, or we would have to wrestle with our exposed demons all the way to resolution.

For those who are more likely to avoid confrontation, this proves extremely troubling. If you’re like me and you absolutely need to resolve things on the spot, it can still prove difficult, because you’ll end up defending yourself in the most tone-deaf ways possible. It’s all rather very embarrassing when we realize how bad we are at the Rules of Engagement.

We had to figure out a system. We had to know what words we would never, ever use. If we were going to fight, we would have to fight fair, with no low blows and no dragging up the past against each other. None of this is a perfect process. The initial start of a conflict will never be smooth; our first reactions are always emotional because it feels like your own value is at stake.

It’s in these moments that my wife and I had to learn to seek an end-point to our arguments. The beginning would always be rough, but with enough humility and self-awareness, we could run towards intimacy instead of towards an exit. This kind of spousal love is not only a means to an end, but the end itself.

We’ve discovered that when confrontation has a direction, it’s always an opportunity to grow.

And if a guy like me can learn these things: I guarantee you, we all can.

– J.S.

[Photo by Angel He Photography, my engagement photos June 2014]

A Marriage to Remember This breaks my heart to watch, but this is what love looks like.

Third Age | Realms of the Elves

Unknown (via pureblyss)

im living for this

(via bl-ossomed)

Alan Lee + lotr & scenery

Merry Christmas!