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please send wine

@snickerdoodle-factory / snickerdoodle-factory.tumblr.com

Shit and more shit
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stuckinapril

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

this is not just "look out the window and sigh" longing. i'm talking you're at the grocery store and you're suddenly hit w a wave of grief bc you don't have it. you don't have whatever it is you ache so badly to have. you go about your everyday life and yet it throbs under your skin moment by moment, almost as though it has a life of its own. that's the kind of longing i mean.

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plantanarchy

still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

A farmer, by hand and with love and care

wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

old mccuckhold had a farm it seems

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starjasmines

i was the first girl to get shrunk so small that they blew a bubble around me and i wasnt even big enough to break the tension in the soap and i floated away into the sky until it popped 100 meters up and i fell for what felt like years due to my low terminal velocity and when i hit the ground i wasnt even hurt and i joined an ant colony. since then ofcourse there have been many others.

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beesmygod

do you ever get tired of being the cassandra of webcomics

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yes. every single loser who argued with me about this owes me an apology acknowledging that not only was i right, but that the reason behind my heated tone was out of concern and sincere interest in the well-being of webcomics as a whole, and not bc im a secret alt-right sleeper agent. i guarantee literally none of them will think about what i tried to say lol. they should be ashamed. they wont be. i cant be magnanimous about this one, i was treated like dogshit for giving a fuck. hope it was worth it!

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https://www.garbageday.email/p/a-megacorporations-quest-for-all

2022 lol

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the fact that "eco" and "ethical" are two separate concerns in the global north, and that "eco" is a much more popular concern, with many "eco" products being made in actual sweatshops, is a big part of why i am The Joker

if you think this is an exaggeration or splitting hairs where it doesn't matter:

i used to work at a Local Organic Produce store that's popular with the lefties in my city who are interested in food justice. i quit for a lot of reasons, mostly the boss, but something i will always remember is one of our suppliers coming in to drop off produce, being told her check wasn't ready, and her laughing and responding it didn't matter -- even a low bank account was more than enough to pay the migrants who picked her produce. i am not filling in any blanks here. she said this.

after quitting, this was a common story i told people about my time there. some then became annoyed at me, acting like i was a wokescold trying to undermine the store's "eco" mission with unrelated "ethical" concerns. but, like -- if food justice isn't for the people making food, who the fuck is it for?

like, don't get me wrong. my contention here is that the things go hand in hand, and that something which is unethical isn't actually eco. after all, humans are a part of the fucking ecosystem, and if a product can only be made by unsustainably exploiting humans, then it's unsustainable. doesn't matter which chemicals were used in making it, or whether or not animals were factory farmed.

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falseficus

they *cannot* be separated. a product cannot be either eco or ethical — it must be both. a product that is made through human suffering cannot be eco for the reasons you said; a product that causes human suffering by contributing to the destruction of the ecosystem cannot be ethical. it must be both and we must insist on both

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Lil Nas X did a cover of Jolene and Dolly Parton responded to it on twitter

Image descriptions under the cut

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baredwolf

From Dolly’s insta:

I feel like it gets a bit lost, with how readily we meme his songs online, but Lil Nas X really does have a beautiful country singing voice. He might have the best voice for soulful, impassioned, male country vocals since Johnny Cash, and this cover really shows that off.

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Shinobu: This date is boring.
Giyu: This isn't a date, I was sent out on a mission.
Shinobu: Then why'd you invite me?
Giyu: I didn't invite you, I specifically said not to come and you said, and I quote, "You can't tell me what to do, water boy" and followed me anyways.
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apparently i’m a millennial woman

I mean, yeah, valid! but but but I also want to add on the fact that lotr AGGRESSIVELY rejects the “grimdark” and “gritty” settings that is so prevalent in fantasy (and also in general) right now, because I physically can not shut up about it

It is hope and love and compassion that saves each character individually, and because of that, the world. Frodo fails in the end, but his acts of compassion from earlier in the story save the day. And even as the world is saved, it is acknowledged that Frodo failed—without judgement, without blame. He fails, and he is still loved.

And like what can happen in the real world, he is still irrevocably changed by his trauma. But there is still hope—he has to leave, but he leaves with the promise of healing, and the promise that his ever-faithful Sam will follow.

Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo, Sam; each and every one of the characters are driven by their love of the people around them and their hope for the future. They cling to that love and hope throughout their trials, and that bears them through.

Of course people are watching it for comfort!!!! Lotr is eternally consistent in its promise, which Sam articulates so clearly in The Two Towers: “Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it’ll shine out the clearer.”

Things are dark and awful and terrible, but it will not be that way forever. That is the promise of LOTR. A promise of hope, and the reminder that it is love and compassion—for our friends, for our families, for the strangers we’ve never even met—that will save us in the end.

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foone

People always imagine the only two answers to the question "is there a hell?" are "yes" and "no", but frankly just about any other answer is way funnier.

Like say;

  • "not anymore". Somehow, hell used to exist and doesn't anymore. Did the doomguy blow it up? Did God change their mind?
  • "I hope so!" why would you hope that
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kitstacean

"Not if I can help it" - Unsong

There will be

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kwekstra

Highlights from the conference room where they nominated contenders for Word of the Year 2023:

• They put Skibidi Toilet on the projector to explain what “skibidi” means.

• Baby Gronk was mentioned.

• We discussed the Rizzler.

• “Cunty” was nominated.

• “Enshittification” was suggested for EVERY category.

• “Blue Check” (like from Twitter) was briefly defined as “Someone who will not Shut The Fuck Up”

• The person writing notes briefly defined babygirl as “referencing [The Speaker]”. He is now being called babygirl in the linguist groupchats.

• MULTIPLE people raised their hand to say “I cannot stress this enough: ‘Babygirl’ refers to a GROWN MAN”

When technical issues occurred while voting on “kenaissance”, everyone had to reassure the speaker, Ben Zimmer, that he was “benough”

In a stunning upset, the last-minute nomination “(derogatory)” DEFEATS “cunty” as the most useful/most likely to succeed word of 2023.

Someone renominates “babygirl” for word of the year, saying that they have spent the past year trying to figure out if people are “little meow meows, blorbos, or babygirls”. This is in front of a room of hundreds of people.

ENSHITTIFICATION WINS WORD OF THE YEAR 2023

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dkpsyhog

While verifying this was true (it is) I discovered that there is a wikipedia article on enshittification

Even though this means I'm going to end up with a poop emoji on my headstone, I'm ok with it.

UM.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW

@mostlysignssomeportents IS THE PERSON WHO COINED THE TERM "ENSHITTIFICATION"

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neil-gaiman

And we are so proud of our babygirl.

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ankhwiz

My roommate pacing the floor, talking to their partner on the phone: "NEIL GAIMAN called COREY DOCTOROW a BABYGIRL on MY POST"

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fasole-dulce
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aliiiiiiice

why don't people in zombie apocalypse stories ever just wear suits of armor? you think any zombie is gonna get their shitty rotting jaws through this?

I'm gonna rip and tear my way through the zombie apocalypse completely unharmed because none of the undead hoards will be able to get through my plate mail

everyone else is like "oh we gotta stay inside the most secure places possible and never leave" and I'll be storming through the wastelands in my bloodstained suit of armor, blasting the Doom (2016) OST and plowing my way through waves of the undead. one of them tries to bite me but his shitty rotting teeth don't even leave a dent in my armor before I turn his head into paste. I'll be unstoppable until I die of dehydration or something like an idiot

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earlgraytay

this goes along with my other pet peeve about zombie apocalypse stories, namely: why does no one ever think to ride a bike? 

bikes are quiet- if the zombies react to loud noises, they won’t hear you on a bike the way they might hear you in a car. bikes don’t need gas, meaning you won’t be stranded if you run out. bikes are much, much easier to maintain than a car- there’s no computer that can short out, no fiddly engine bits that could kill you if you mess with them wrong. you can learn how to maintain a bike with a couple weeks’ worth of classes. almost every adult knows how to ride a bike, and without cars on the road, it’d be much safer to do. 

what i’m saying is

American author Mark Twain (b. 1835) lurches from his grave only to give you a massive thumbs up and die again

Mark Twain essentially invented the genre of a bystander sent into a time-travel sci-fi plot just to get someone to draw this image for him. And today we can simply search for such a picture. It is a time of wonders

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