@eternallyliminal / eternallyliminal.tumblr.com
Good morning. I’m realizing I should best pin this post to say to myself: people will always do what is best for themselves and others. It isn’t always true, their thoughts can get so wrong and twisted some times and they’ll really fuck up, but be open and prepared to communicating your experience and what you know to be best for people, and what you know to be true. Always hold yourself separate, let your reactions to their selves pass safely, and move on. Have a great day.
It has been a while since anybody requested an older Steven.
just realized i used an old tag on accident that was an inside joke with an ex.friend and her support circle all unfollowed me at that point after following me for twenty years… aaaaazzff
It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
Every time I know I’ll regret publicly hating on someone I humilliate myself in some way. So this post is to say he could have been posted on that blog for me to find, FOR ME TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT WHY OUR PEOPLE HAVE ISSUES, and would incite better discussion in classrooms, illegal or whatever, and so I wanted to say that if you ever want to hate on/dislike hate, just remember how much of a fool I must be feeling like one right now (i am a fool tho bc this is assuming something completely prolly untrue and too much good about a prolly evil-bred person).
Copyright 2012 Louise Tegg
I bought strawberries yesterday. This morning they were almost rotten. Such a waste of money.
isn’t this a sign of contamination? No biomass should eat through organics this quick… and I’ve lived with these germs nearly all my life feeling sick having diarhhea every other damn day…
West Oakland ‘94
It’s so disturbing how easily influenced I am by the algorithm.
A week ago I had a gnarly Soul Eater nostalgia kick and started watching it again and Fire Force. Then suddenly a Soul Eater trend starts on tiktok???
What did I watch that made me think of Soul Eater after all these years?? Because clearly it was the same thing that all these other people watched too
it may be because of Chainsaw Man. An edit from tiktok went viral on twitter/X (or an edit posted on twitter/X made tiktok have a trend) and it wasnt half-bad.
This is all I could find (could not find the twitter post. I bookmarked it but my boyfriend cleared everything)
a poem by: @/sandersstudies
i remembered this poem since 9th grade, and i always imagined that this is exactly what princess bubblegum would write in her journals, or in the margins of a notebook with all kinds of math in it....
Happy valentine's day!
Also my commissions are open :3
There’s an interesting trend I’ve noticed when it comes to colorblind casting. All four of these properties are reimagining the female lead as black but keeping the male lead white.
Now, I don’t want to criticize the individual casting of any of these properties, but it does seem interesting that audiences are apparently more willing to accept a female role being race-bent as opposed to a male role.
It doesn’t help that, in all but one of these cases, the role being race-bent is the “love interest” as opposed to the protagonist. But beyond that, it does make me wonder if white male audience members would be that much more furious to see a male protagonist reimagined as black.
I don’t know. Food for thought.
could just be my own experience knowing what the female and male gender like, but i think it is a phenomenon that most movies I’m advertised are so fkn avoidant of a good neutral main boy protagonist cast of a live action to be brown, with a white girl love interest (brown boy/white girl, The Arctype).
This Arctype (in the case of casting “colorblind” or “race bending”) is the constantly avoided ideal romantic look of the feminine girl and masculine boy when among all variety of races: arab (brown), aryan (white), african (black), and i think should say asian here, but there’s just an isolation with them in romance that errs on the side of weird, which I will talk about later.
When percieving the racial categories of the US testing surveys, it confuses looks and culture with personal importance to them, and brings out a lot of dangers when it comes to self-esteem and mental health, living among different looking people.
I’m risking something when I write this I think, like knowing what I write here isn’t true for a lot of people, but part of why I’m doing this in the new year is because my life has gotten to a cusp and it drives me forward when the worst thing I’ve ever seen was people getting angry and fighting entire feuds when what was needed from them was to think a step further, and I understood it was because of something like the survey, and I saw people trying to limit my thoughts as if lives depended on it.
If I could try to describe everything I saw about what people called themselves, here it is.
“Hispanic” described white arab men and brown aryan women, what contrasts their popular aesthetic gender ideal more than culture does, while culturally, Native brown and Asian brown, both a huge cultural difference, has the survey with two seperate categories (the “Native American” category, or “Asian” category. But both can mean the “Indian” category). Asian also mean feminine to me because although I saw masculine Asian men as Asian by their cultural language, hispanic men were much more masculine and I saw how people percieved that.
African becomes its own unique marker because the survey didn’t have a “mark all that is true” option, which caused confusion and signs of being discriminated against since being Black was a strong cultural American AND biological marker.
Marking everything necessary, “black” + anything else, was breaking what was asked and was difficult to parse like every other category anyway. And we needed to question again and again what was more important to us, culture or biology, when everything should be important to a person’s life in its own way.
“White” did not always mean culturally American when everyone in my class were all culturally American to me but not necessarily white in culture or biology. (But i wonder how the other girls and boys marked their survey, all “White” leaving me the only one to say “Asian” lmao, and maybe that’s how the stereotype “Asians are smart” became a belief rather than opinion or mislead info).
One of the toughest things to talk about was the anger racism caused when anyone tried to talk about it and got angry about what was made the simplest thing. And I’m 31yo struggling to understand why terrorist groups online tell the internet they don’t know why the US government callapsed.
i think racism has a lot more to do with romance than power and oppression. It’s such an easy thing to find peace when the unspoken truth is that everyone has fears, jealousy, jealous boys and jealous girls who don’t fit the beauty standard, and when they do, but love fails them anyway in real life, which is the puzzle. The puzzle is, people hate the Arctype, and it feels like a victory and a huge loss, either one.
People who watch movies from powerhouse Hollywood America are now much fewer in numbers because casting remains stubborn in breaking SOME racial contentment, which always misses the mark. Just seems like tradition and never purposefully evolving, and it’s a depressant that will bring a lot more mental disease.
You could argue in other walks of life that race bent or colorblind casting “makes you think” and “starts discussion” nearly every time, but it’s a distraction from a very real problem:
The need for the Arctype was not met.
twitter became X.com and I can’t cancel a $3 fee on my bank account anymore. x.com was a porn site IP before. And now this, Tumblr, became an absolute phishing property when Dashcon became a haphhazard realization that people can get lost in “America but on the internet, in real life.” But I stuck around. There are so many Americas I bet, so many Californias, because the Chinese Taiwanese were honestly sickly and incredibly organized and loved being the purveyers and what wastes good civilization that so many other countried people identified with. I want to cut ties with them, but they made my life part of a game that white people have adapted and I’m sick of it. So here, I’m deleting it from my already phished as fuck phone.
Part of why I know I’m moving on is seeing myself correct private posts of my stories and what complex undertones are finally seeming to bare through. Usually I “empathize” and jumble so badly that what i say sound incriminating to myself and better paints my mom as the sorry victim or unreasonable target of my obscure accusations, instead of the active cause of my inability to trust open communication as an effective tool for gathering needs.
- I’m also noticing the noise isn’t giving me nosebleeds like you see in movies. Like electromagnetic radiation noise is many times, maybe 100x more intense than the last house my mom kept me home in, but i am losing hair instead of losing hearing. In this place I am still incapable of destroying my greatest source of abuse, but I appreciate that the “distractions” like the radiation is what i can notice is abusive and live through it. wtf this is actually why asians remain dumbasses.
- sad blog so I will also say that I like to block accounts. I am on tiktok now and am posting a bit more rants that no one I need can understand what to do about.
- i got to block a chinese-asian’s account this morning. i think he was teaching taichi or chi map acupuncture points. he had at least 1k viewers in the live, so i had to leave my acc details when visiting his profile to press block, but it was fine since was feeling like it’s already the worst shit happening that he can’t even stop teaching toxic af shit as long as he gets his social attention and that “he tries.” Out of all the shit his people made his inherent values rancid, he does this.
- headaches come and go, but i’m able to sleep fsr. It’s radiation that seems to turn off i think, whether it’s from some device interception or absorption. In any case, body remains intact.
- body remains intact. has always had abnormal deformity invisibly, but my body seems to be heavier despite being much thinner.
- i noticed the tap water has other liquid, like storebought juices, have weird sink/float reactions. I think the water makes everything in my body heavier and malnourished. Water acts like what mercury i imagine with metal. Metal is solid, mercury is a liquid but it’s extemely dense/extremely heavy. And the water, naming it, would be mercury water.
- I’m not freaking out bc the police have taken my information after my mom called them and diagnosing me with schizophrenia. I had a police officer knee me to the pavement for the first time in my life. I think i can handle what I put in my body.
- so i thought why not drink my own piss? But the toxins we (the good education) talk about is what i imagine to be my own liquids or my own substance, and ingesting that might prompt my stomach to ingest my own flesh. The only thing left, hinting that piss drinking might be a good thing, is an chinese-asian doctor in my america telling me about lupus as an auto-immune disease, when she was severely inflated with some kind of water? Fat? swollenness, that had to be injected out of her. If you know me, this is him telling me I had lupus, that was why i was so skinny, bc i kept eating something of my own flesh made delicious and necessary.
- so i’ve decided i will try fish, because even though it could be one of the closest things to my flesh, (the frozen ones i eat is more fleshlike when defrosted, and delicious), I think i can instead eat something else. Like sunlight.
- i think i should get more outside time, but from knowing how the sun feels different, how direct sunlight is actually few bc buildings and clouds and trees get in the way, i also think i was brought to some manmade space planet when my mom’s terrorism went worldwide, and the sun is fake.
- but any sunlight is light, so i opted to stay inside bc i have lamps. It’s just that the electromagnetic radiation might have some direct affect to it, and i wonder if the lamps make it worse, or the bugs more antsy.
- so i think i can try eating something else, like bugs, lmao, but I hate the idea since, it feels like bugs already make it in my mouth when im asleep. Like spiders. Like the lice-like pimples activating in my hair isn’t something i wanna eat, since i think it caused a lesion in my stomach after trying it in 2015.
- so i’ll just try to get sunlight and stop my stomach from complaining by eating whatever. Just not lice. Also, what grosses me out is eating the “dandruff” (my bf had his scalp skin melted off/disintegrated from the usual poison shampoo at the local store). So I want to eat something food, something that melts, just maybe not from any person/human being. But it could be thr opposite, or it could just be that i don’t need to eat st all once i get accustomed to it.
Cozy cat
“you should be at the club” i should be by the sea. i should be in the mountains. i should be awestruck and rendered speechless by the majesty of the natural world. if you even care
