me, age 21, driving around my college campus in a rattling old vintage Chrysler, wearing a scarf, big sunglasses, and a 10 in cigarette holder: what did you do today?
me, age 41: went shopping with my girlfriend
me, 21: omg we have a girlfriend??
me, 41: and we quit smoking
me, 21: oh yeah of course
me, 41: and pretty much like 98% of our trauma is resolved
me, 21: nervous I don't know what you mean
me, 41: you're gonna post that Buffy fanfic and it's gonna change your life. you meet your best friends and the love of your life through fandom. a looooooot of people read your writing and say nice things to you about it. during the worst crises of your life, when your safety net dissolves, fandom has your back.
me, 21: ok that's awesome, what about the novels?
me 41: you reached your arbitrary goal of writing a professional manuscript and landing and agent before you were 30
me, 21: ok
me, 41: but the book didn't quite get published and after that you were busy being homeless. But you went on a journey, you had lots of life experiences, and now you're part of a found family with a platonic life partner, a kid you unofficially adopted, and a girlfriend.
me, 21: ....sooooooo
me, 41: yeah, we're happy. it feels really weird.
me, 21: ok, yeah, cool.
me, 41: ...
me, 21: ...
me, 41: yes, obviously, I still want to publish a novel.
me, 21: no, I...we've really been writing fanfic for twenty years? I just kind of assumed I would move on.
me, 41: you did get over the thing where you couldn't think about anything but your blorbos all day
me, 21: what the fuck is a blorbo
me, 41: but you got addicted to reading and writing as partnof a community, so. *shrug*
me, 21: ok, I get it. last question: who do you ship now
me, 41: lots of things, but I've been on a Kirk/Spock thing lately.
me, 21: [recoiling] You betrayed Bones.
me, 41: Forgive me
me, 21: ...no