Avatar

心は放たん事を要す

@kou-waii / kou-waii.tumblr.com

ɪɴᴅɪᴇ ᴍᴀᴛsᴜᴏᴋᴀ ɢō ʀᴘ ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ
❝ being deeply loved by someone gives you { strength }, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. ❞
Lao Tzu
NOT SPOILER FREE faceclaim: kim seuk hye | tracking: kouwaii | previously oculoplania
Avatar
[ooc] I'm sorry that all I keep posting lately are annoying, whiny ooc posts... I keep promising I'll do things on here, then disappearing. I'm just really depressed, to the point I'm suicidal again. So I've been doing things to try and keep me busy like catching up on Walking Dead and drawing and some personal writing. I'm just... I'm really sorry, and you're probably annoyed like "oh, look, another whiny rper whining about depression looking for attention." I'm not trying to and I don't want attention, I just want to explain why I'm gone and I'm very sorry that I've been unreliable lately... I promise I'll try to get to what I owe soon. I'm really, really sorry.
Avatar
[ooc] I'm really sorry that I haven't been on lately, I haven't been on any of my accounts and barely on skype tbh... In all honesty, I've actually been really depressed and slightly frustrated with rl so I've been drowning myself in otome games and just trying to escape through that, music, and just my general imagination. That and trying to use my rl friend as a distraction by letting her come over, talk at me, and watching a show with her. But, honestly, I'm just incredibly depressed and my entire family keeps trying to pressure and guilt trip me into things they want and completely ignoring the fact I have my own problems because they think their problems are more important and that my life needs to revolve entirely around them and what they want. I've been really lethargic and I have to sort of make myself do things that I usually care about just because I feel so... blah. I guess I just feel hopeless, lost, and trapped. Idk... I just don't really see the point in much of anything any more... it's not like I really get anywhere even if I try really hard to. I just kind of feel like giving up on everything, and like if I did then that'd be best for everythone because I feel like an inconvenience, a burden, an annoyance, a failure, and a dissapointment. I don't know... Sorry if you read this... it didn't really have a point and it's a pretty shitty explanation to why I'm such a bad rper and everything with me being MIA.
Avatar
reblogged

munday: 92 truths

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

Tagged by: rockhoppernagisa

WHAT WAS YOUR: 

1. last beverage - water

2. last phone call - my mom?

3. last text message - my rl friend Mercedes

4. last song you listened to -  uhhhh... Crossing Field (theme song for the first arc of Sword Art Online) by LiSA

5. last time you cried -  last wednesday

6. dated someone twice - yes, then regretted it

7. been cheated on - haaaaaaaaaa, many times

8. kissed someone & regretted it - yes

9. lost someone special - not recently, but I've lost a few special people...

10. been depressed - a lot

11. been drunk and threw up - yup

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

purple, black, and pink

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend - yes

16. Fallen out of love - yes

17. Laughed until you cried - yes

18. Met someone who changed you - uhmm... no?

19. Found out who your true friends are -  Yup

20. Found out someone was talking about you - Hahahaha, yes

21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend’s list - A lot of them, actually...

GENERAL:

22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life - like 99%

24. Do you have any pets - two dogs and one cat, though I had two other cats, two rats, and various dogs before

25. Do you want to change your name - Nah

26. What did you do for your last birthday - Got drunk

27. What time did you wake up today - 7:00AM

28. What were you doing at midnight last night - either tumblr or otome games or both

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for - DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION

30. Last time you saw your Mother - like a couple of hours ago

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? - I wish I lived away from my family...

32. What are you listening to right now - a fan

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? - yep

34. What’s getting on your nerves right now - the fact I'm still coughing like three weeks after my cold

35. Most visited webpage - tumblr

36. Blood type - A positive

37. Nickname - Aerie/Ari/Arie/Arry, Harley, Harls, Bubby, Sweet Pea

38. Relationship Status - single girl seeking cuddle partner to belt Disney songs and cry about anime with

39. Zodiac sign - pisces

40. Pronouns - she/her

41. Elementary - I was in like 3 or so... first a private school called Garden School, then one public school with my cousins I think called Sugar Hill, then finally the elementary school I finished at called Seneca

42. High School - Martin Luther King, Jr. High School and then switched to Pacific Coast High School my last year and a half

43. College - I've been to three community colleges, for one summer I took classes at Santiago Canyon College, then I spent like two or three semesters as Irvine Valley College, and now I'm at Riverside City College because it's close to home which means NO MORE FUCKING COMMUTE

44. Hair color - naturally dark brown, but I get it died auburn

45. Long or short - long

46. Height -  5’3”

47. Do you have a crush on someone? -  do celebrities count?

48. What do you like about yourself? - my make-up skills

50. Tattoos - not yet

51. Righty or lefty - righty

52. First surgery - tonsils removed

53. First piercing - earlobes

54. First best friend - a girl named caroline mooney

55. First sport you joined - swimming, actually xD

56. First vacation - uhh.... idk?

58. First pair of trainers - idfk

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating - a cinnamon raison bagel with strawberry cream cheese

60. Drinking - water

61. I’m about to - watch House of Flying Daggers and get on skype

62. Listening to - a fan

63. Waiting for - my life to turn into a shoujo manga/anime or otome game

64. Want kids? - as of right now, no, but I like the idea of maybe someday having kids... it's complicated. I want them, but at the same time I don't

65. Get Married? - I've accepted the fact I'll probably never find anyone who loves me enough to want to get married to me for love. I'll probably ended up marrying a friend just to take care of them and/or give them USA citizenship or something like that, tbh

66. Career? - student

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes - eyes

68. Hugs or kisses - both, depending

69. Shorter or taller - taller

70. Older or Younger - older

71. Romantic or spontaneous - both

72. Nice stomach or nice arms - BOTH

73. Sensitive or loud - sensitive

74. Hook-up or relationship - relationship

75. Trouble maker or hesitant - a little bit of both

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger - no

77. Drank hard liquor - yes

78. Lost glasses/contacts - both

79. Sex on first date - NEVER

80. Broke someone’s heart - yeah

81. Had your own heart broken - many times

82. Been arrested - I was close on a few occasions

83. Turned someone down - yes

84. Cried when someone died - yes

85. Fallen for a friend - yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself - sometimes

87. Miracles - sometimes

88. Love at first sight - ..... I used to be able to say yes right aaway, but I guess I'm too jaded now

89. Heaven - eh

90. Santa Claus - I used to, but now I believe in him in the sense that I believe in what he represents

91. Kiss on the first date - that depends

92. Angels - perhaps

Avatar

the mighty fall | suieixmekajiki

———❖

"Hey, Sei, we got a bachelorette party coming in, so, make sure you’re on top of your game tonight."

"Yea Yea.."

[ Cleaning out the last of his glasses, he called back to the manager, a chuckle leaving. He liked tending nights when bored young women spent their paychecks to see a hot man gyrate on a stage. Drunk women spent the most money. He knew it was gonna be a good Friday night. He saw a group of women come in after a few hours, and smiled wide. Some were rather cute.. he didn’t see them all, but some he did see were familiars. ]

[ How he ended up bartending in a strip club; well, it was a job he grew to love, after filling in for  someone. He did go to university, major in business. THe night of his graduation, he came here to party. His friend was the bartender at the time, and had to leave due to a freak family accident; so Sei agreed to fill in. From that moment on, he knew he wanted to do this forever. There was this thrill to it, that he just couldn’t describe, but he felt so damn elated when he came to work. ]

[ Through the night, the loud dance music, he felt content. Tonight there was a special dancer, so too many people were invested in that, rather than drinking. He still had his own flow of customers. Just as he stashed away the vodka,  those resplendent hues laid upon the figure of none other than- ]

"Gou-san!!"

[ A dorky smile stretched across his face. Wow.. she was.. was it really here? Well she seemed to know him, and she had the same cute face.. long locks of crimson.. He felt rather shocked. It was really her..]

"Y-yea. What are you doing here, I never took you for the strip club type of gal!"

Avatar
kou-waii

—⊰❀⊱ It was almost surreal seeing him there, a face familiar and yet faint after so many years. Instantly, a wave of nostalgia crashed over her and a giddiness set in. The ingrained smell of chlorine filled her senses from memory, and she swore she could have heard splashing and the shrill of a whistle somewhere in the distance; though it was all just imagination from those memories coming front and center. "Wow, long time no see!" Her eyes were wide and sparkling, a large smile stretched onto her features as she gave him a quick - and vaguely innocent - look over (admittedly, she was curious to see if all these years had been kind to those glorious muscles she once ogled). She sounded a somewhat sheepish smile and waved her hand carelessly before gesturing towards her group of friends. "It was their idea. I mean, I've been to clubs before, sure. But a strip club? I never really felt the need to go to one since I spent all of high school watching half naked men get wet and sweaty." Strippers typically just couldn't compare to athletes, so honestly it'd just be a massive let down for her in comparison to any other girl. She turned to face Seijuro fully then, her smile still plastered on her face as she gave a quick flash of her left hand - more specifically of the ring decorating her ring finger. "The only reason I said yes was because apparently strip clubs and engagements go together." A pause, her hands resting atop the bar idly. "But I could say the same for you. I didn't ever imagine you'd be the type to work at a place like this."

Avatar
Avatar
mkatebutts
I’m in love with your voice I’m in love with your personality I’m in love with your face I’m in love with your smile I’m in love with your lips I’m in love with your nose I’m in love with your eyes I’m in love with your freckles I’m in love with your cheeks I’m in love with your teeth I’m in love with your tongue I’m in love with your eyebrows I’m in love with your hair I’m in love with each individual eyelash I’m in love with your body I’m in love with your legs I’m in love with your feet I’m in love with your thighs I’m in love with your waist I’m in love with your back I’m in love with your hips I’m in love with your spine I’m in love with your ribs I’m in love with your chest I’m in love with the veins in your neck I’m in love with the marks on your skin I’m in love with your birthmark I’m in love with the way you sing to me I’m in love with the way you bite your lip I’m in love with your cute bum I’m in love with how you make me laugh I’m in love with your skin I’m in love with your bones I’m in love with the way you smell I’m in love with the way you look at me I’m in love with your laugh I’m in love with your dorky quirks I’m in love with the twilight in your eyes I’m in love with the moonlight against your skin But most of all I’m in love with you.
Avatar

the mighty fall | suieixmekajiki

—⊰❀⊱ So much had changed since her years at Iwatobi High School because Gou had, after all, grown up. Adulthood was a funny thing, really, because you still felt like your old self and yet like something far from it at the same time. She was still that fiery girl in knee high socks who fawned over muscles, it just so happened that she traded in those knee high socks for pantyhose, her school uniforms for suits that cinched just right at her waist, and tattooed on her hip she had a shark to signify her rebellious college years. Matsuoka Gou was still as fiery, passionate, and take-charge as ever, but even then she wasn't prepared for her friends to insist on taking her to an adult club. "But Gou-chan, this is your last moments being single! Why not go out with a bang? They'd all said to her, even despite her wariness to the idea. "There will be lots of shirtless guys with muscles!" That was her one weakness, and of course her friends used it against her. Of course, she wasn't nearly as thrilled or impressed when they actually got to the venue; and that was most definitely due to the fact that Matsuoka Gou was used to being surrounded by athletes. Even still, she couldn't really complain since her friends were enjoying themselves and had goen through such efforts to plan her bachelorette party. That was another thing that had changed about her, she'd ended up becoming engaged. Cerise eyes traced over the ring on her finger while her free hand lifted her glass to her lips. It was empty, and she gave a small frown before standing. "I'll be at the bar. But her friends were to enamored by one of the male entertainers to hear her, and she shook her head in amused exasperation before excusing herself. Luckily, the bar didn't seem too packed and she was able to slip herself right to the front. "Excuse me, bartender! Could I please get another—- eh?" Her features lifted into surprise, mouth forming into a small o as she leaned over the bar and squinted. It couldn't possibly be, after so long... "Mikoshiba-senpa—-er, Mikoshiba-san?"

Avatar
If we roleplay:
1. Don’t apologize for being late/slow with replies.
2. Take all of the time you need. Days, weeks, months, doesn’t matter. Don’t put yourself under stress because of such pointless things.
3. Your personal life out of character along with your health are the most important. If you drop a thread/conversation/whatever, it’s alright. Just stay safe and take care.
Avatar

✿ ((if you thought I wouldn't come over here just to send this you were wrong hahaha))

Avatar

send me a ✿ and i’ll generate a number.

19: underwater kiss

—⊰❀⊱ It was humorous how well the Samezuka Swim Club and the Iwatobi Swim Club got along considering they were rivals, and honestly Gou was so proud to be responsible for that fact. Nagisa liked to tease her by claiming it was from her sex appeal, but really she just knew how to negotiate (and, ok, so maybe the fact Captain Mikoshiba had liked her and then her brother ended up the captain after him helped matters). Regardless, joint practices were something she always looked forward to because it gave a sense of a big family reunion, not to mention the multitude of gorgeous muscles for her to ogle at.Yet somehow these joint practices seemed to transform into something more intimate, so much so that it was now deemed appropriate for both teams to actually consider a beach trip together. Needless to say, it had been Nagisa’s idea and his charm is what swayed over everyone. Not that Gou would have complained, while the boys practiced in the ocean she was more than happy to soak up some of that warm sunlight.But she began to feel adventurous, daring herself to splash in the waves as they caressed the shore, and even go collecting seashells like she had when she was a child. Naturally, the boys (or rather Nagisa soon followed my Momotarou) called out for her to join them deep within the water. As adventurous as daring as she was feeling, she still wasn’t up for submerging herself, that aversion to being in the water still tacked onto her heart like a post-it note with a bolded memo. She was content on the shoreline, but she did grow so bold so as to step out onto the natural protrusion of rocks that served as something of a balcony out to the sea. Perhaps she would even stick her feet in the water.It was a mistake to do so, as the sea swelled further and sent a massive wave towards her safe haven. Before Gou could even so much as turn to run back to the sand, the water had claimed her and sent her toppling into the sea. The current pulled at her, dragging her under in such a rush that she no time to catch a proper breath to hold. Fear overcame her and she flailed within the water, trying to escape its clutches. Yet she was far too afraid and panicked, which only served to worsen her situation as she continued to sink further and further into the depths.She could hear her heart beating within her ears, everything else an eerie silence as the sun clawed from the sky into the dark water. Her vision began to blur, a darkness creeping into her. Was she to die here? To drown like her father had? She felt so helpless, and a bitter sense of humor over came her before the sensation of an arm wrapping around her waste made her turn in shock.Wide cerise eyes met the worried and determined amber hues of Momotarou, and she felt relief surge through her body. Her lungs were burning, and no doubt she believed her face must have been a concerning shade of purple as she patted her chest to signify that she was on the cusp of losing consciousness. Only a mere seconds after this gesture, and without any form of modest hesitation, Momotarou’s lips were placed upon her own.A shock ran through her, and she would have pushed him away had it not been for her realization that he was breathing into her mouth - and thus sharing the oxygen he’d retained within his lungs. She inhaled and held the breath, giving him a nod when he pulled away to silently regard her. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she clung as he hurried upwards, breaking through the surface with such a force that Gou found herself in awe. She gasped, refilling her lungs with air as he started for the shore where her brother and the rest of the boys were waiting.Her arms were still clinging to him, and his grip around her waist tightened protectively. Momotarou didn’t let go of her until Rin advanced, grabbing Gou’s shoulders and then hugging her tightly as he cried and reprimanded her. She assured them all with gentle words and apologizes, her eyes shifting slowly to Momotarou as he set a towel upon her hair. ”Thank you for saving me, Mikoshi—-“ A quick pause, the pads of her fingertips subconsciously brushing over her lips at the memory of their exchanged break. ”-— Momo-kun.” His reward was her use of his nickname as opposed to his last name, and as she watched him react with a burst in yodeled joy, she couldn’t help but to smile to herself.

Avatar
[ooc] My current list of AUs/time jumps:
  • Little Star Sweeper; Childhood.
  • Together One Dream at a Time; College/Adult.
  • How Swift Thy Sword; Ancient Japan AU.
  • Too Loud Then You Must Be Too Old; Band AU.
  • One Thousand & One Nights; Arabian AU.
  • Tales of Aincrad; Sword Art Online AU.
  • CURRENTLY UNNAMED; Hogwarts AU.
  • Drink Up Me Hearties; Pirate AU.
  • Into the Deep; Mermaid AU.
Avatar
[ooc] Sorry I haven't been on! I've been a bit busy, but if you want to start something in any of my verses then hit me up!
You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.