My 14 year old brother just took a drink of hot chocolate and hissed like he'd knocked back a shot of vodka then set it down and went "ah... that's the good stuff."

Just watched him lose a card game as badly as he could on purpose for the sole purpose of annoying the guy trying to run the game and when I was like what is wrong with you all he said was "that's how we do it down in Vegas"

I told him that this has 2k notes and the people love him and he completely deadpan went "wow it's everything I ever wanted" and then immediately accidentally set himself on fire in skyrim and died

Why

apple heads rise up!

transphobic music fans be listening to he or she might be giants

Trust me this joke will be really funny after I've spent twenty minutes explaining the specific religious and scholarly milieu of Andalusian Islam in 1389.

Six in the morning

I wouldn't call Pratchett's writing unhorny. He's just a tease. He absolutely loves to imply that horny things are happening just offstage where you can't see. Discworld is soaked in love and sex, but the books are about one guy trying to solve a dwarf murder.

I think one of my favorite jokes he ever makes is the timeskip where it's implied that Carrot learns what sex is.

Every time Vimes looks at Lady Sibyl: "I think I hauve covid"

Angua watching Carrot accidentally deescalate an international conflict by organizing a football match: "I am going to fuck him until my pelvis fractures."

Pratchett understands that Horny isn't just when there's two hot chiseled conventionally attractive people doing cool shit. Pratchett understands that the horniest state a human can be in is "Oh god I can't not fuck them" and sometimes that means two married middle-aged schlubs going at it like rabbits in heat. You look me in the eye and tell me that Vimes and Sibyl don't fuck nasty.

I will say, prattchett is very good at disguising his hornyness with humor. He has quite the talent for describing explicitly horny things in hilariously non-erotic terms. Like we know that BDSM exists in discworld, because of that scene where a kink closet gets blown up and a dog runs away with a vibrator in its mouth.

This is the only day you can reblog this

haters will see a winter enjoyer and say "why are you going outside it's cold and boring" and not even see the beauty in desolation and stillness 🙄

mutuals stop putting this on my dash challenge

Every Friday. Every Friday i either see this post or live in fear of seeing it. I can’t wake up and say ‘it’s friday’ anymore without thinking of this post. I am living a nightmare and it’s your fault

Thank Gnome it’s Friday! Lol

ahaha yea woo :D

AUGH FUCK OH GOD

my white ass is not immune to the nostalgia of viva la vida by coldplay

me when viva la vida comes on

The kids on TikTok think that just because he was a classic country singer, Johnny Cash was conservative??? My babies he covered a Nine Inch Nails song in his seventies.

Classic country singers (the majority of which came from poor roots) were always talking about how much The Man sucked because they were taking money from poor rural folk. You’re gonna tell me that’s conservative?? Get outta here.

And somehow on the opposite side of the scale with the same exact opinion the conservative kids say “I like the old country music, because there’s no politics to it” Woodie Guthrie’s got a “this machine kills fascists” sticker on his guitar? You think there’s no politics in 9 to 5 or Folsom Prison Blues?!

For anyone confused there was a sudden and dramatic shift in the country music genre. It used to be a genre fixated on the experiences of people. Lived or common experiences that resonated with the common people. It was music that you listened to and it thrummed in tune to your soul because you had lived it yourself. And a lot of that was about ordinary people getting ground up in the gears of society.

The hyper patriotism, beer, and trucks chimera we have now didn't show up until after 9/11 and the world is lesser for it

Allow me to post the entire lyrics to the Johnny Cash song "Man in Black", released in nineteen goddamn seventy-one and written about why he always wore black onstage:

Well, you wonder why I always dress in black

Why you never see bright colors on my back

And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone

Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down

Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town

I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime

But is there because he's a victim of the times

I wear the black for those who've never read

Or listened to the words that Jesus said

About the road to happiness through love and charity

Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me

Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose

In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes

But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back

Up front there ought to be a man in black

I wear it for the sick and lonely old

For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold

I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been

Each week we lose a hundred fine young men

And I wear it for the thousands who have died

Believin' that the Lord was on their side

I wear it for another hundred-thousand who have died

Believin' that we all were on their side

Well, there's things that never will be right, I know

And things need changin' everywhere you go

But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right

You'll never see me wear a suit of white

Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day

And tell the world that everything's okay

But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back

'Til things are brighter, I'm the man in black

That right there is an anti-war, anti-bigot, anti-mass-incarceration, anti-war-on-drugs (Cash was an addict in various stages of recovery who was pissed as hell about how this country treats people with substance issues), eat-the-rich protest song. And it was arguably his signature song, his personal manifesto. Notice that even the Jesus reference, which today would be a signal that the song is about to drop some racist dogwhistles, segues immediately into a line about "the road to happiness through love and charity". As in "Motherfucker, our shared god said love thy neighbor and care for the poor and the outsider, and we both know he didn't fucking stutter." He's throwing shade at self-described Christians who use his religion as a cudgel to beat people with.

Johnny Cash wasn't a conservative. I'm pretty sure if he were alive and in reasonably good health today, he'd knock Jason Aldean's teeth out (or, failing that, write a song so devastatingly memetic about how much Aldean sucks that Aldean would never work in music again).

Johnny Cash was punk rock. He just happened to be punk rock in the body of a country singer.