Dicks Out For Harambe

This water is VEGAN???? *spits it out* bring me some meat water you punk clown

player: what if (exact prediction of gm’s plan)

gm: 

Let me tell you a tale…

Once upon a time, I was running a DnD game for some friends. The player characters were checking out reports that a local town had been having trouble with monsters. They’re informed that it was true, a few years ago, but a copper dragon set up a lair in the mountains and chased all the awful creatures out. A dragon slayer showed up shortly thereafter and neither dragon nor slayer were heard from again. Players are disappointed at first, but then quickly perk up when some other plot threads become apparent.

A few sessions later, the place they were staying burned down (their fault), forcing them to check out the more expensive tavern in town. There, they meet Allie Cohol, a half-elf woman with red hair that owned and ran the tavern. She was cheerfully greedy, but still helpful and always ready with a cheesey joke… And after only the third joke, one of the players, Bill, froze and locked eyes with me. “You fucker. She’s the copper dragon,” Bill says.

That reveal was supposed to be a big thing later, so I’m kinda on the spot. Fortunately, another player, Fran, pipes up and says, “nah, that’s stupid. The dragon in the mountain is a red herring. We’re here for the cultists.” The cultists were in the sewer and the PCs were actually working for the cleric Big Bad without them knowing.

“No, listen,” Bill continued. “Red hair. Greedy. Bad jokes… Her name is Allie Cohol.”

Everyone around the table gives him a fairly blank look, but I’m sweating bullets. Threads that I had spun oh so carefully were half a heartbeat away from unraveling. Bill is getting this real wild look in his eyes and pounds a fist against the table. “Allie Cohol. HER NAME IS ALCOHOL.”

Fran then slowly pans over and looks me dead in the eyes. “The deadly joke ability. She’s a goddamn dragon.”

this is beautiful

New items from Royal Princess Alice (not available yet)

There is no war in Topeka

It’s hot in Ba Sing Se

Got my @mokuyobithreads patch in the mail yesterday and now all I have to get is a jean jacket to put it on lol #mokupatch by theskinnyartist http://instagram.com/p/wCCBgJsXC6/

Blog Post: Last Night’s Clothes & Tomorrow’s Dreams {Wicked and Whimsy}

Wicked and Whimsy Tea Party! My outfit was made up of Lily of the Valley Designs Forest of the Unicorn JSK - Innocent World boots and socks - Peacockalorum bolero and underskirt - Fantastic Grim necklace - garlands “made” by me. I say “made” because mostly I just wrapped them where I wanted them and used some wire to secure - not really a complex project!

Why they Photoshop Jordans crying eyes to a bear?!!! This meme shit is out of hand!!!

cibophile:

“is that you?” “……………….yah.”

this is the best thing I watched today

this is the most extra fucking petty shit i have EVER seen

As a 4 year old, this was the funniest thing I’d ever seen. I think I talked about it for days.

This is still funny to me.

lmfao just walking away at the end like fuck this shit I’m out

Just dessert, Dinara Kasko