Hi!!!!!!!!

SOMETIME IN THE LAST WEEK MY SCHOOL PUT UP A LARGE BANNER DEDICATED TO THE :-) EMOTICON

happy birthday :-) face

it’s that time of the year again everyone say happy 40th birthday :-)

This is apparently what was contained in the original message that invented the :-) and I'm obsessed with Fahlman's diction here

scp foundation thinks i mind control people to escape my enclosure but im actually just asking really really niceys

me too pal

hey wait you're supposed to be in your enclosure

dont even worry about that

a giant, glass shattering noise comes from the sky that is unmistakably the smash bros announcer saying “KING DEDEDE”. it makes headlines worldwide and people are scared. scientists find that the source of the noise was a dead star 2.7 billion light years away

The worst part of normalized surveillance is the normalization.

It's the thousands of followers who react to your secretly taken videos of noble good deeds with encouragement. It's them feeling cheered up, day made, hearts filled with warmth by your brazen voyeurism.

It's scrolling past a Tumblr post of a reddit post of a Twitter screenshot of a father and daughter sharing an intimate, family moment, oblivious to the tweeter taking a photo of them.

It's minding your business at the grocery store, hearing a weird noise, and realizing some teens are filming a tiktok dance and either did not notice or did not care that you are in the shot.

It's walking home with a mask on because every single condo and floor apartment in your neighborhood has Ring and you don't know what that means for you yet.

It's thinking about talking to a PR person just in case your recurring nightmare of your mental breakdown in the parking lot suddenly going viral comes true, hoping against hope a professional knows the magic set of words that will mitigate the harassment, stop you from losing your job.

It's that reddit post of the Sikh woman who found her and her mustache on the frontpage, forced to turn public humiliation into a teaching moment. It's some jackass redditor posting a couples photo, ostensibly to mock that his fly was down yet 70% of the comments target his girlfriend's appearance. It's seeing a top reddit pic with a headline demonizing a person in it months after you saw this same pic taken down after mods discovered op was lying. It's a lot of reddit.

It's wondering how many times your face has been posted online and if it was in a positive context at least.

It's that this is all normal, that so many of these things feel neutral to individuals, not a risk they're taking on behalf of a stranger.

people are always like “i have face blindness but i’m good with names” or “im terrible with names but i never forget a face” well baby idk how to tell u this but i am . bad at both.

yesterday i didn’t recognize my coworker bc he was wearing a purple shirt and im used to him wearing all black

yeah and im stomping you to death with my hooves

Guys gals non binary pals I tried so fuckin hard to find this and finally here it is

Fuck the whole “who’s gonna die this year” who’s death are you MANIFESTING. I’ll go first. JK Rowling

15 an hour is 31k per year. No one working FT should make less than at least 45-50k and should have full health benefits and I’m willing to die on that hill.

We should also be doing what some other countries have always done: it should just be a crime for a boss or business owner to pay themselves a certain amount more than any other employee, so if they do want to give themselves millions of dollars they have to start paying all of their workers more first.

i know i’m getting old bc i feel a need to warn young girls not to do stuff

Was walking my dog downtown and he stopped to drink from a dog bowl in front of a bar and I was like “Oh, are you a thirsty little boy?” And a grown-ass man sitting there said “i guess I am,” as he took a sip of his beer and then he realized I was not talking to him and looked completely horrified

#id fuck him

One time in grade 11 I got every answer correct on a math test and the teacher failed it because I didn't use the method we learned in class and it's been nearly ten years and I'm still angry. I'm going to raise my children to fuck the system

Like the first question I remember perfectly cause it was like "the square has a length of 14". The circle has a diameter of 14". Which has the greater area? Prove your answer"

And obviously they wanted us to calculate the area of each and then use the data to prove the answer

But I was like. "Obviously the square has a greater area, because the circle could fit inside it and the corners would be empty" and I proved it by drawing a scale image like

And it didn't even explicitly SAY to calculate it, so??? Fuck you???? I'm right?????

My kids are going to sing Rage Against The Machine at recess.

could NOT stand shit like this in school and in life. the right answer is the right answer? if the results can be reliably replicated it's a solution.

man ive been watching videos of sheep getting shorn all night. makes me wanna be a sheep, getting man handled by a farmer who loves me, emerging from my cocoon of wool a totally new being. prancing around the barnyard so free, no longer weighed down by winter. i have clinical depression 

it’s posta like these that so encapsulate the spirit of tumblr while making it impossible to explain tumblr to my mom

Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp being down for, like, the 4th time this year, while this hellsite keeps running jerkily but inexorably since the start of time

Oh my god