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Chestnut

@chestnutboredom

| 17 | Max | they/them | Genderfluid | Panromantic |Profile Photo Credit: @wearesexbobomb1234
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Things to remember over this holiday season from all of us on andropologist. Keep your head up high, we love you all! Have a great holiday!

- Max  :)

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Anonymous asked:

Hey, could you help me get the word out about a new film I'm making? It's called Before We Fall, and features a genderfluid main character (who I play, and yes, I am genderfluid myself). We are crowdfunding right now and are looking for help getting funded so we can get the film out to audiences! Thanks :) - Erin Corrado (If you Google 'Before We Fall+Erin Corrado' you'll be able to find the Indiegogo link)

Yes of course. I will watch the trailer when I get to somewhere with Wifi. I am traveling at the moment. GUYS PLEASE FUND THIS. i read the bio and I think this is great. please please please. https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/before-we-fall#/ - Here is the link. I think this would be great for the community. SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE!

- Max :)

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What they don't mention about #growingupwithstrictparents:

- The resentment that begins to build up and damage your relationship with your parents because your missing out on being a kid.

- The self destructive tendencies that develop when you get your freedom.

- Extreme Behaviour that can be dangerous because you feel as if you have to catch up on all the life you have been missing.

- A constant sadness that your never going to live life enough. 

- Developing anxiety over doing things as simple as riding the bus.

- Massive issues with authority. 

- Fear of commitment because you feel as though it is going to tie you down and take away from your freedom again. 

etc…

‘ - Fear of commitment because you feel as though it is going to tie you down and take away from your freedom again. ‘ This is is me in a nutshell

All of this.

Feeling like you’re useless when you’re not doing something productive.

  • never being able to stand up for yourself, because of your inherent fear you will be severely punished - even if you are in the right
  • feeling you are never right, even if you are
  • caving easily to abusive situations, because you grew up learning how to be controlled, that it was “wrong” to exercise power, that it was “wrong” to defend yourself, and not knowing anything about self-respect or having self-esteem
  • second-guessing yourself nonstop
  • hiding your entire life from your strict family - even if it means they go to their deathbeds not knowing what has happened to you, because it will just mean you earn only their disapproval or disgust.
  • non-stop self-hate
  • non-stop paranoia

-feeling like you have to “prove” yourself

-never feeling good enough

-developing insecurities that eventually grow but stay hidden because you’ve been told that maybe asking a question a few times extra just to be sure everything’s ok is “weird”

-being afraid to make friendships, reach out, or go out because your afraid of doing something wrong

-always being afraid that someone is mad at you

-getting criticized for years on end then getting questioned on all sides as to why you’re so negative about yourself

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ohpierre

I’m glad I’ve been outgrowing a lot of this, and moving out worked to be a good thing between me and my parents.

To all of my friends, this is the reason why I do the things I do

I don’t always relate so heavily to these kinds of things but damn if I don’t feel 99% of these

- Having to explain to your friends why you can’t just come over or come outside.

- Having to beg your parents for permission to do everything, wait six weeks for them to think about it and confirm, and then figure out a way to make them leave you alone while you’re doing it.

- Realizing everyone else is allowed some autonomy and then becoming angry and upset that you can’t.

- Constantly wondering what you did to make your parents treat you this way.

- “I don’t understand that reference”.

- Having your parents disapprove of all of your friends.

- Hiding journals or destroying them because if your parents find them, they will  read them.

- Being scared to tell them when you do something fun because they will probably disapprove and not let you ever do it again.

- Being scared of your parents meeting your friends.

- Friends not getting it and telling you it’s because you’re not adventurous enough.

- Loosing sight of dreams because your parents disapprove or don’t let you try it.

- Not knowing how to do simple things or play simple games because your parents never let you do anything even remotely dangerous, which is to say, normal.

- Being bullied in elementary school and middle school for having childish interests

- Being told you’re silly when you try to grow up.

- Parents getting mad when you tell them you want some space and autonomy.

- The open bedroom door.

- The play dates and study dates are always at your parent’s house when they are home and in the room.

- The calls to teachers to verify stupid things like one less-than-100% assignment or test score.

- Other kids calling you sheltered.

- Your parents yelling at you when you tell them other kids are calling you sheltered.

- Being treated like a baby until one day your parents cut the babying cold turkey and expect you to be responsible for everything while still having no freedom.

- Doing all of these things from childhood into adulthood because your parents have literally ruined your life.

crying and hiding from your mum because shes terrifying

getting found and then getting yelled at for crying

^^^

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