The Desolation of Scorch

little guy is one sniff old and seeing so many wonderful things in this big and large world

before twitter goes, here’s my favorite tweet of all time

i wish i had a gay cigarette

Fag

i have a name

Most people in the LGBTQIA community don’t appreciate cishets using the F word.

If we were in the same house in the same room, I’d be dragging you by the ear “old mama style”and making you eat a bar of ivory soap.

Don’t fuck with me, Poppin’ Fresh. You’ll find that as an ally, I don’t take kindly to ANYONE using that word.

who are you talking to

hired a galapagos finch at my burger joint and after 2 generations it evolved to take peoples orders

When Joe Biden, inevitably signs this bill that, coupled with more funds for a genocide, will ban TikTok in the US, I can almost assure you that he is likely signing away his chances of winning the election. Because no matter how politically illiterate Americans tend to be, the one thing that Americans care more about than anything is their convenience and their circuses.

You can’t take away the people’s bread And their circuses. 

And ultimately, I know that you ham-fisted Liberals will find a way to still only say that it’s all the nasty little brown people of the world‘s fault that this man loses the election and now you’re saddled with the racist chickens coming home to roost in the form of Donald Trump.

But surely at some point, you’ll have to admit that this man has quite literally done every single thing he can to make people not want to vote for him. 

Finding other trans people attractive is a crucial part of reducing one's own struggles with dysphoria, I am not joking about this. Obviously it is not ever a bad thing to want physical changes to help get where you want in your transition, but, once you start to realise people built like you now can be beautiful or handsome or even enviable for what are usually considered transgender traits, it can go a long way towards helping you feel like those traits aren't so bad to have after all...

Decided I'm not done. If you insist you can't do this because your self hatred is so strong it makes you think all other trans people are ugly or unpleasant or failing to live up to some lofty standard of normalcy, that's your business, but consider that I will not pity you for saying this in my notes. I will not pity you for thinking all trans people are repulsive, because that is an asshole thing to think, whether you're trans or not! It just is! Thanks.

my life is a first person horror game

repeatedly going near reflective surfaces/grimy ass mirrors and seeing a vague blob and being like Oh word i’m alive and don’t actually have a face. but also i do have one. crazy

this is so true as well.

I’m going to die today

"baking is light and sweet" these people have never watched a baking show or tried baking anything more complicated than a banana bread..

ppl are always writing characters doing dumb shit like roasting a fresh-caught rabbit over an open flame instead of making a stew with that thing. great now you’re letting all the fat drip down into the fire as it cooks, wasting calories and flavor as well as causing the flame to flare up = inconsistent heat source,… when you could be maximizing the nutritional value of small game by making a soup or stew. Come on

Sorry for being such a slow writer, it's because I [remembers that self-deprecating jokes are harmful to my mental health and make everyone else uncomfortable] was attacked by dark spirits and washed up on the shore of a mysterious island with no recollection of who I was

i don't make balls jokes that often anymore im losing my touch...

Losing my grip....

ON MY BALLS!!!!!!!!!

everyone get unemployed. i will provide for us.