not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny

governor of the colony: hey I’m gonna go back to england to get more supplies

115 colonists: okay

governor: ends up spending 3 years in england bc of a naval war with spain or some shit

governor: gets back to the colony to find everyone gone

governer: sees the word “croatoan”, the name of a native american tribe, carved into a post

croatoan tribe: has members and children with blonde hair/blue eyes, pale skin

everyone: what could have happened to the colonists of roanoke

hi! op here. I’m fucking hyperventilating

Reblog if you’re part of a hostile nation that’s declared war on Australia

Oh my god though guys you don’t know the best thing!  The best thing is: he’s right.

The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands is a micronation near Australia.  This is their flag:

The Gay Kingdom (as it is colloquially known) was founded in 2004 in protest against Australia’s legal stance against same-sex marriage.

Here are some of their stamps:

They are currently ruled by Emperor Dale I, and their currency is the Pink Dollar.

And, indeed - they declared war on Australia for not recognizing same-sex marriages performed outside the country.  (Second link.)

You’re telling me there has been a Gay Island this ENTIRE TIME and I’m only just finding out about it????

WHAT

okay, but not enough people know the details on this. people at pride were upset about gay rights in australia. so they decided to sail 200 miles into the coral sea just ‘cause and put a rainbow flag on a fucking empty island out of spite. and i’m talking empty. no inhabitants. zero. it was a flat piece of land with a bit of dry grass. now it has a camp site and a post office. 

they have a declaration of independence that talks a bit about gay rights and then just flat out copies the “life liberty and the pursuit of happiness” part from the american declaration of independence. and here’s the best part: the founding group actually elected their emperor. he was originally going to be called the “administrator” of a republic. their website, however, says that “upon legal advice, his title was changed to that of Sovereign on the grounds that under Australian law a defacto prince trying to claim his crown cannot be charged with treason”. so they made it a kingdom and he now claims to be a descendent of edward ii.

everything about this is glorious and everyone should know about it.

Keep reading

Not one of you mentioned that the anthem for this nation is I Am What I Am by Gloria Gaynor. Not. One. Of. You.

that’s it. i’m moving.

I put these together because I am sick of reading girls putting themselves down on tumblr because they don’t look like any of these women. There are things called high end cosmetics and photoshop that make these women look perfect by hiding their blemishes and wrinkles. The truth is they can afford far better makeup than you. The stuff they use is almost magic. And we all know the things they can do with photographs these days. Strip all that away and they’re just like you. You also have to figure how many of these women had cosmetic surgery. There is no so such thing as a perfect and flawless looking person.

You know what’s worse about this though? We see these pictures under captions like ‘SHOCKING pictures of celebrities without makeup’, and ‘Ten HORRIFYING photos of celebs’. And you know what that teaches us? That teaches us that a woman who isn’t immaculately made up is something to be feared and reviled.

Frankly, I’m not sure which is more more worrying: the idea that we should all strive to achieve unattainable aesthetic perfection, or the idea that we are unacceptable in our natural state.

(And as an endnote, you can be sure as hell that nobody’s kicking up this kind of fuss about male celebrities looking normal)

Reblogging for the last comment. It’s disgusting how we talk about how female celebrities are SECRETLY SO GROSS WOW GROSS YUCK

like no this is not progressive

also, so much of that is trying to find a “bad” shot by paps and…look everyone has days you roll out of bed feeling like a swamp monster. there is a level of “you have to look perfect all the time”. it’s beyond just “your body as it is isn’t ok” and into “you musn’t ever be flawed or have a bad hair day or anything” 

heard it no longer looks like this

it hasnt looked like this in years lmao

u kno when you’re crying and u catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and you’re like??? if this was a movie this scene would have won me an oscar

when you shake laminated paper and it does the thing

fwuuubufbuwbfwubfufbwufbuwbuuuBUWBUBHUFUFBUWBUFBUB

exactly

I’m screaming

reblog if you’re a lesbian who supports bi girls, a bi girl who supports lesbians, or if you want all wlw to have a nice day

# WHOEVER MADE THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING TAKEN OUT BY THE GODDAMN KGB

This is it. The video that made memes illegal in Russia. Reblog it every day to piss Sadimir Putin off.

guys this is part of history now. legislative and cultural history. there will be law students and cultural anthropologists alike debating this video and it’s aftereffects in the future and that is fucking wild

due to personal reasons I’m suing the entire human race

NEW TUMLER VIRUS

this shark is hungry. dangerous.

ｔｈｉｓ  ｓｈａｒｋ  ｗａｎｔｓ  ｔｏ  ｅａｔ  ｙｏｕｒ  ｂｌｏｇ．

if u dont reblog this cyber shark you’re blog will be delieted DONT RISK IT

youve angered it

When teen defies anti-vax parents and gets shots, his mom says it's a "slap in the face"

A teen’s Reddit post went viral when he asked the public how he could get vaccinated. “My parents are kind of stupid and don’t believe in vaccines. Now that I’m 18, where do I go to get vaccinated? Can I get vaccinated at my age?”

The Ohio high school student, Ethan Lindenberger, says he had just gotten his driver’s license and a car, and had some money, and was ready to do defy his parents. “It’s stupid and I’ve had countless arguments over the topic. But, because of their beliefs I’ve never been vaccinated for anything, god knows how I’m still alive.”

A month after his post, he started getting shots, including “hepatitis A, hepatitis B, influenza and HPV,” according to The Huffington Post. His mother reacted by telling undark.org that his actions were like a “slap in the face…It was like him spitting on me.”  

Lindenberger has six siblings, and only his oldest sister and brother were vaccinated. After that, his parents thought that “vaccines are some kind of government scheme,” according to Ethan, who spoke out on Good Morning America today.

Seven states now allow minors to petition so that they can make their own decision when it comes to vaccinations. But in the states where kids don’t have a choice, some teens are coming to Ethan for advice. “I definitely have received messages and I’ve had people contact me that are in a similar situation where they want to pursue vaccinations and their parent or authority figure doesn’t believe it’s right,” he told Good Morning America.

https://boingboing.net/2019/02/12/when-teen-defies-anti-vax-pare.html

I hope more kids start doing this!

Im on mobile but

i’d like to nominate this for an oscar 

@creepitreal666 omg

This is the greatest thing I’ve seen in a while.

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

The stables have turned

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?” 

“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”

“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”

“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”

“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”

“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”

“Hourly?”

“Hourly what?”

“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”

“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”

“Sold. Off we go.” 

“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”

“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”

“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”

“well, sure, of course.”

*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”

This resonates on a spiritual level

 I’m afraid of Americans

This is super real.

Completely accurate.

@pre-successful America exposed. 

It’s hilarious watching non-Americans react to this with fear because I read it just nodding along like “yes, in fact this is How Things Are, there you go”

If you ask an American how they are and they respond “Super.” that means they want to die

ACCURATE

If they say they’re peachy it means they’re tired of existence