OH I HOPE THEY DO ITS GOING TO BE WONDERFUL

I love Vox Machina so much

Thinking about this, as i have listened to many audiobooks narrated by Wil Wheaton and Iron Man being my Favoritest Hero, i can get behind this.

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

It Works the money is on its way!

Need this.

Of course

It worked tho

I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.

ENERGY

Fun fact: both caused by depression

how in the name of fuck-…

That time of night as an adult where you’re desperately tired and want to sleep but you also don’t want to give up the day yet bc there’s stuff you wanna do. I’m calling it the toddler hour

This post came into my bedroom and punched me in the face

listen ok. so there’s that typical horror trope about the family and the haunted house and yadda yadda.

but like, have a movie where this family has gone through many haunted houses before, to the point where they move into this new one and are like ‘okay. fresh start number seven.’ and then basically throughout the movie avoid and deflect any typical horror event from the house like it’s no big deal. 

something’s under the teen girl’s bed? she takes a can of bug spray and some chloroform and uses that shit on the demon creature without turning an eye from whoever she was texting. mom’s cooking and the family’s nowhere to be found? weird creaking noises? she sighs and continues cooking. family comes through the back door later with some blood on them and carrying a few hockey masks. mom doesn’t question it. family looks exhausted and irritated. younger brother walks into his room to find the dog trapped in the wardrobe, wardrobe unable to open? seeping dark smoke and gross liquids? move it and throw some salt around that thang and kick in the back of the wardrobe. dog hops out with a scoff and trots to the door of the room and down the stairs. a shadow follows. lots of growling and snarling and scuffling. a shadow runs fuckin outie back down the hall in fear. dad is in the garage working in the car. car shuts it’s doors and locks them. he is unable to get out. he sighs and starts the car. might as well go get groceries.

family don’t give a fuck.

hello, yes, how much do movies cost and how would I fund this

omg this would be hilarious. bonus: the ghost or poltergeist to give up after a certian point this family is too hardcore and just accept the family into the house. they literally stop bc honestly the amount of ghost energy they’re using up is terrible and just creepily make glass fog up and write “fine, truce. you win.” and the mother just nods and the kid add a smiley face to the creepy fogged up glass.

now they have a very handy alarm system and when the new baby is born: creepy shadow live in babysitter who is ironically great with kids

Actually, something like this already exists. It is called THE CANTERVILLE GHOST and it was written in 1887 by Oscar Wilde. 

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

Ok but the other one is purring so hard

If I ever don’t reblog this assume I’m dead

Fun fact: technically, because of its inability to roar and its ability to purr, the cheetah is not a ‘big cat’ (or Great Cat) - they are still classified as Lesser Cats.

Also you haven’t heard anything until you hear them cheep.

YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT AND NOT PROVIDE A VIDEO

I HAVE REALISED MY MISTAKE AND SHALL RECTIFY IT:

Cheeps.

Oh my god

I’m dead now

MURDER KITTEN SOUNDS LIKE A CHICKEN PEEPER

My step-mom just got a 4th Gen savannah cat and he came running up to me when I played this

you know, it is not very often that I see a gif and experience this strong a desire to put my hand into it.

setup and punchline

The artist is luo li rong

The statue doesn’t have big enough titties to have been made by a man.

I know I’ve reblogged this before but the schadenfreude is too delicious.

By the way, the statue is called  La mélodie oubliée (The Forgotten Melody). Luo Li Rong also painted it:

And here she and the statue are in a more formal setting (museum or art show, I can’t tell):

“Dork ass losers”

OK not only do I think she’s a sorceress but now I have a massive crush on her

I was sitting on sea ice when I heard a little peep over my shoulder.

Noot noot

I remember some YouTuber tweeting like “TV shows are too political these days old shows like Fresh Prince didn’t have all this sjw bullshit” and like the first episode will and uncle phil talk very sternly about malcom x

If anything, sitcom shows even from Disney esp if they're black were bold in your face political about societal issues

ima just leave these here

Making hard truths relatable/digestible is important and Fresh Prince did a phenomenal job.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

I have had the honor of working on two different comics projects with Don Hertzfeldt. Flight, and Fusion Future. But this is the story of my first interaction with the man.

Spiderman noir coming into 2018 and finding out there are still nazis

have i ever told y’all about the greatest moment of my academic career

i was a freshman in college and i had this history teacher who was ~edgy~ and his hotness level on ratemyprofessor was off the charts and he was the first teacher i ever heard use the word “fuck.” anyway he would do this thing every so often where we’d have a “quiz” and the first two questions were always really easy and the last one was hard - they were all similar questions, and the point was to show what you learn about history and what you don’t. 

so one day he’s like okay kids time for a quiz and the first question was who killed abraham lincoln. the second question was who killed JFK. third question was who killed william mckinley. 

we all take a few minutes and write down our answers, and then the teacher asks the questions again so we can shout out the answers. everybody answered the first two with really no problem.

now, keep in mind that this class was at 9 a.m. and i was exhausted All The Time during my freshman year of college so i sat in the back in my sweats and never said a word and the teacher definitely had no clue who i was. 

so you can imagine his surprise when he asked the class who shot william mckinley and without missing a beat i said, “czolgosz,” pronounced correctly and everything. 

my teacher froze and in a very stern voice asked, “what was that? what did someone just say?”

i repeated: czolgosz.

my teacher: “who said that?”

i raised my hand, and my super cool history teacher glared at me. he then asked me how the hell i knew the answer. he said that in the TWENTY YEARS he’d been teaching this stupid class, nobody, not A SINGLE PERSON, had ever known the answer to that question.

i then had to quietly explain to a room full of people that there’s a musical called assassins and there’s a song about czolgosz shooting william mckinley at the great pan american exposition in buffaloooooooo (in buffaloooooooo)

The arts are important.

I shocked a teacher once because I could recite the preamble to the US Constitution (got bonus points to), She asked why I’d taken it upon myself to memorize it. I had to explain it was in a School House Rock song….

I shocked church with my ‘math skills’ when they were asking how many seconds in a minute, minutes in an hour, hours in a day, days in a year, now how about minutes in a year - and I call out five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes without pausing to think, cos Rent

one time when my class was going over the suffrage movement, the teacher asked “does anyone think they know a phrase or slogan from it?” and lots of people were saying “women’s votes!” but then the teacher called on me and I just slightly shouted “WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL” and the teacher just nodded and said “hamilton.”