Time's gone wobbly again

Our DM posted this to the group chat last night. I'm still laughing. Send help (and this die).

Impressively well calibrated so far.

It's remarkably close but there's actually no good reason for this to be a random sample of tumblr users. E.g. I would expect perverts to share this more widely than non-perverts, and perhaps for pervert tumblr users to be generally more active than the non-perverts.

i think its unfair "Less" went up like 10% after i posted it

just put laundry in the washer. there better not be any wet laundry after this

bad news

just put laundry in the dryer. there better not be unfolded laundry after this

what the hell..

putting some clothes on. there better not be any dirty laundry after this

you guys are not gonna believe this

All this about not getting to see John Lennon on twitter but I think the real tragedy is that Freddie Mercury never had an instagram

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

here it is! the post that started a “me, an intellectual” hell frenzy, and is officially ⭐ the worst post of 2016 ⭐

you: the worst post of 2016

me, an intellectual: modern art

Look everyone look

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine

scientist when you don't take the medicine they developed to help your pain

As long as you are taking a SAFE dose of it, then it's *good* for you. Pain is bad for the body. The inflammation from prolonged pain can worsen chronic issues and make it harder to heal.

Ibuprofen is best for pain that has inflammation, while acetaminophen doesn't help with inflammation but is more broadly effective on other types of pain. As long as you are taking the recommended dose, you can even take them TOGETHER, since they have different mechanisms of action.

You do need to be aware of how much and how often you are taking any pain medication. Overdoses can be very painful (even lethal.) And if you are in chronic pain often enough that you need more than the safe dose, then you need to look into other medications to manage that pain.

(Also, if you are specifically taking Acetaminophen/Tylenol for your go-to pain management, getting some NAC and taking that with it reduces the risk of overdose AND may strengthen the effect.)

One other thing: NSAIDS (ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen being the three big ones) can cause digestive issues with chronic use, including stomach ulcers. That doesn't mean "don't take them," it means "if you're at the point where you're on them all the time, every day, constantly, you should talk to a doctor about either reducing that risk or switching to another medication that doesn't have those side effects."

I don’t have the source for this table anymore but I felt it should be added to this post.

Also please please please consult your doctor if you are on any other type of medication that put large strains on your liver or kidneys before taking any kind of NSAIDs as they can recommend alternatives.

Yes Chronic Kidney Disease and liver disease prevent the use of NSAIDS entirely. Please remember this. Tylenol is the least harmful to these organs. If migraines are your problem, ask neurologist about the triptan drug family. Downside with these is nausea.

I feel that it is worth bringing up again:

As a scientist, this is the way I feel when people in pain don't take the medication that was developed to help with pain:

Especially because as a scientist, I know that pain sensitization is a thing, and that experiencing pain for long periods of time can even train your whole nervous system to be even more reactive to potential pain. So if at all possible, I want my friends who are experiencing pain to try to control that pain as much as possible.

So if you are in pain, and you do not have any massive kidney and liver strain that prohibits you from taking a NSAID or paracetamol/Tylenol?

Please take the pain medicine. Please. Pleeeaaaaaase. I'm a scientist.

yeah i'm a scientist who specializes in designing new pain meds. suffering is not noble, this is exactly how i look when y'all don't manage your pain:

take the meds! i became a scientist in this field explicitly to help people! i became a scientist because i too experience chronic pain and i failed out of literally all pain meds on the market. those of us in this field, we make these things to be used. be safe, follow doses, and if you have questions, ask your doc and pharmacist!

*ink5oul voice* what’s up chat, today we’re going to be reviewing tattoos and their artistic quality. so for this video, i actually got this corpse

When I see people sharing so much of their kids' lives, I think about that one time my child told a joke, I shared that joke with ONE FRIEND in a private conversation, and my child said "can you please ask me next time, before you tell people something about me?"

And, yes, I absolutely should. So I apologized, and now I ask.

"I love that video of you, can I show it to a friend?"

"Can I tell a friend about how clever you were just now?"

"Can I share this in the family group chat?"

"Can I show your art to grandma and grandpa?"

And it's not like my kids don't like when I share their jokes and puns and fun moments. They love it! But they want to have control over what I share with people. Even without their faces or their names. Even people we know and trust.

And they deserve to have that control.

My children are small so the examples are small. They wanted me to ask, so I ask. Just like being told to kiss my grandma's cheek when I was a kid was far from traumatizing, but I don't do that with my kids because it's a way to practice consent and become aware of bodily autonomy.

It gets both me and them in the habit of asking for consent and drawing boundaries and seeing the lines between their life and my life, their stories and my stories.

Sokka's girlfriend looked great today.

as a kid i thought i would graduate from kid problems like cleaning my room to adult problems like jobs and taxes. but instead i have a job and taxes and still have to clean my room. cleaning my room is a lifetime problem. i will never stop having to put my markers away before bedtime. this is a rude way for aging to work.

Trump would be such a good drag queen like just such an unbelievably incredible and talented drag queen it's such a bummer that he's decided to be a fascist and a threat to democracy because that cunt would devour at the House of Yes

such a loss

his cadence, his tiny bitchy hand gestures, his cunty little nicknames for people that are insane but also somehow stick to your brain? 

“the problem with ron desanctimonious is that he needs a personality transplant, and those are...... noT yet available.”

if he’d laid the garbage fire of his entire soul aside for a wig and heels back in the 80s, we’d live in a better world. 

(via @dragonprincessmew )

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

Really, our only complaint, nationally, is that she should've called the cop a cunt.

How remiss of us not to include any pictures of the legend herself

the only good innovation from facebook was the poke feature. tumblr needs the poke. when a cute girl is mass reblogging me and i don't wanna call them out to their face but i wanna go hey. i see you. being cute. rubbing your face on my blog like a cat. that's what the poke's for

@staff give me fingers so i can do mischief