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whats the fucking point of having laws if people can keep making led headlights

something about pets looking like their owners…… they’re judging you harshly

having short-term memory is like. this book profoundly affected me. that show bared my soul. i don’t remember a single thing about it. but it did

what if we’re both boys and btw we’re both girls and i’m a boy and you’re a girl and i’m you and we’re me and you were we me she he the are and him

house of leaves is the perfect book for people who love wikipedia but wish it could be scarier

no i don’t have an “astigmatism” i can just see the halos of the angels that live in car head lights that you losers are too spiritually closed off to see

>wine enjoyers be like 'this one is so very dry'

>taste it

>it's wet

Me: hi! Welcome to Lids, can I help you find anything?

Customer: yeah, I'm looking for a Yankees fitted. In all black.

My coworker Steven the wicked dark elf paladin: perhaps a blood-weeping crown of thorns would look good

harrow the ninth themed girls' night where we take turns performing highly experimental amateur surgery on each other

your boyfriend looks easy as fuck to parry

if you ever saw me say some weird shit i was high or confused or scared or i meant it

god from a machine

labroriosus exitus domus

in other words, ‘the house difficult of exit’ 

my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle

snoopy of the day