Thoughts and Pictures and Writing and Other Things

The best advice really is to just write. Write badly - purple prose, stilted conversations, rambling descriptions. Don’t delete it, pass go, take your $200, save all your garbage in a big folder. Look at how much you’ve made - it doesn’t matter if it isn’t perfect, isn’t polished, it was practice. Every time you write you learn a little more, and find another piece of your voice.

“If you’re only going to write when you’re inspired, you may be a fairly decent poet, but you will never be a novelist — because you’re going to have to make your word count today, and those words aren’t going to wait for you, whether you’re inspired or not. So you have to write when you’re not “inspired.” … And the weird thing is that six months later, or a year later, you’re going to look back and you’re not going to remember which scenes you wrote when you were inspired and which scenes you wrote because they had to be written.”

- Neil Gaiman

this made me realize i was literally just using inspiration as an excuse to procrastinate

me sitting here today thinking how much i don’t want to finish off the kidfic sequel bc wehhhhhhhh getting slapped in the face with this post

‘WRITE IT BADLY. Write it badly, write it badly, write it badly, write it badly. Stop what you’re doing, open a Word document, put a pencil on some paper, just get the idea out of your head. Let it be good later. Write it down now. Otherwise it will die in there.’

— Brandon Sanderson on overcoming writer’s block to create a first draft as a professional author (quoted in this tumblr post here)

‘Writing tip of the day: it is perfectly acceptable, when working on a scene that vexes you, to write “DUMBEST VERSION” along the top of the page and start from there.   As I, a human who has been writing professionally for 25 years, just did. Give yourself permission to suck.‘

— John Rogers (on his twitter here)

The amount of fics I’ve written that people ended up loving came from scraps I’ve saved throughout the years is incredible. Even single sentences that just pop in my head! save em all!

You’re my present this year.

Y'all need to STOP

Merry Christmas y’all

November 2021. It is time for Biden to pardon his first Turkey. He goes outside. The Turkey is missing. Instead, there is a man in a haphazard costume.

Biden, sighing: Donald, you're not a Turkey.

Trump: Yes, I am!

Biden: Turkeys don't speak, Donald.

Trump: *squawking*

Biden: Agents, please take him away. And find where he hid the Turkey, please. I think its name is Troy, and his hindquarters need to be supported.

Agent: Sir?

Biden: The Turkey's hindquarters, Agent, not the ex-president's.

Agent: Yes, sir.

Trump, being escorted away: Foiled again! Just wait Sleepy Joe! I'll get a pardon from you yet!

Libraries with a sense of humour.

[ID: a compilation of signs found in libraries. 1/ a sign taped to a window with a simple drawing of a grumpy cat. the text, which becomes smaller and smaller with each paragraph, reads: “ *Please do not let in the cat* His name is Max. Max is nice. His owner does not want Max in the Library. We do not want Max in the Library. Max wants to be in the Library. Please do not let Max into the Library.”

2/ a sign outside of a library with a picture of a dino that says “DINOSAURS DIDN’T READ. NOW THEY’RE EXTINCT. Thank goodness the Thesaurus survived!”

3/ a sign on on a column that says “Self Checkout.” Underneath it hangs a small mirror.

4/ a sign that reads “Be Hurricane Ready! Non-electronic entertainment devices inside!” a blue arrow points into the library.

5/ a bookshelf full of books with red covers. the sign above reads “I don’t remember the title, but the cover was red.”      

6/ a sign that says “blind date with a book.” in front of it is a table full of books wrapped in brown paper and twine. each book has its genre and tropes written on it. the caption reads “blind dates prevent you from judging a book by its cover.”

7/ a poster on a window of an outline of batman. the middle of the outline reads “Batman returns” at the bottom, the text reads “his books to the library.”

8/ a sign at the top of a bookshelf that reads “Guys Who Have Lost Their Shirts.” the bookshelf below is filled with books which all have shirtless guys on their covers. the caption reads “found in the library’s romance section.”  

9/ a sign in the snow that says “Cold? Check out a book! You’ll still be cold but you’ll have a book”

10/ a picture of someone’s hand holding a library card that reads “Pleasure your shelf” /end ID]  

@liongoatsnake

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it

I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.

Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.

Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”

I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.

Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.

Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.

I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.

I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.

Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA

It’s called the Murder Strut.

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!

A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.

It works wonders.

In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.

If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.

Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.

Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.

Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.

Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.

I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

And that’s when he decided to start making meth

this year has made me so fucking sensitive. pompeii by bastille, a song i barely like, came on the radio and it made me CRY

you know what bastille......when i close my eyes....it DOES almost feel like nothing’s changed at all ...

how AM i gonna be an optimist about this?

with his flesh abroad, he wakes. on its return, he slumbers again.

the pain of departure pulls him from his dreams, his nightmares, his vast and unspeakable visions of beyond. god bless the back of the beast, for it is all that keeps us from his terrible awareness.

this is post is definitely part of something far darker than we will ever be able to comprehend

When something tragic happens, tumblr is the only social platform you can escape to. The whole world could be in shambles and y’all are shitposting and reblogging pictures of tiramisu as usual.

I always come back with a renewed appreciation of chronologically ordered posts. Just seeing shit in correct order is comforting.

Here’s Canada’s reigning royal couple, Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger, spreading their beautiful love in Paris while looking like Cool Dad picking up his angsty 8th grade daughter from junior high school to take her to buy the Wheatus CD at f.y.e. because the year is 2001.

sir that was not the mic drop you thought it was

EXACTLY