“I’ve always wanted to join a band and play the ukulele. I’m a great uke player, honestly. I’m the next Tyler Joseph.” 

“Never heard of Tyler Joseph, but good luck with the band if somebody actually accepts you.”

“I’ve decided it’s better for everyone if I just stop carrying stuff for people. You heard it here first, folks. Don’t ask me to hold your coffee ‘cause it’ll just go —” Laurie broke off, making a plummeting motion with her hand.

“Why would you want to carry people’s stuff in the first place?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “Honestly, I wouldn’t trust you, or almost everyone, with my coffee.”

“on a scale of 1-10 how bad is it to send a picture of your dick before the first date? some girls dig it and others don’t and sometimes it’s really hard to tell but i don’t wanna be that guy.” 

“Well, that just all depends on who your date is and whether or not she asked for a dick pic, because in my opinion, if she didn’t ask, then 1. It seems a bit creepy, don’t you agree?”

“Finding this R2-D2 hat really made my day. A good Tuesday indeed. And how has your day been?”

“Great. Why not share that information with somebody else? My day’s been good until I walked through the Quad, then it went downhill from there.”

“i swear to god if you’re here to buy a copy of Grey, i will throw you out of this store.”

“It’s a reasonable question! My golly!”

Seriously my patients is up to here right now. Please do not come at me with any dumb remarks, because I will tell you about yourself, and have no problem with it right now.

“Can I stay and watch if anybody does? I think I’d like to see this.”

“It’s more fun not warning you,” he smiled, getting comfortable in the bed again. “Although now that I’m here I’m tempted to just sleep for twenty minutes. But the minute your shirt comes off I’ll probably reconsider.”

She let out a sigh before responding with, “Of course it is.” Seconds later though, she gave him a kiss on the nose. “The things I’ll do for you, Santi,” she mumbled then sat up straight and pulled her shirt off before throwing it onto the floor. Afterward, she grabbed his hand and stroked the back of it with her thumb. “Now, it’s time for you to study.”

OLLIE: we’ve started drinking without you OLLIE: and by we i mean me OLLIE: so come over

“ Imagine we have the technology to simulate a universe. It would grow just as ours did, evolve as ours did, and eventually the creatures would evolve to the equivalent point of human beings. Eventually they would evolve to have the technology to simulate another universe. Basically, if we ever gain the technology to simulate a universe, there would be no reason to believe that we are not just a simulation of a more advanced being’s universe. – just something to ponder while we try to figure out fun something to do. ”

“Twenty minutes of studying alternated by twenty minutes of head?” Santiago offered with a grin, lightly throwing her onto the bed before jumping next to her.

She nodded in agreement and kissed his cheek then started to glance around the room. “Hey!” she shouted out in shock before covering her mouth once she landed on the bed. Although, as he was back by her side, Frankie giggled before shaking her head. “You could have warned me,” she said, smiling.