loudest noises: -dad sneezes -mom yells -trying to get a pot out of the pot cupboard -dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower -flushing the toilet at 3am in the morning -IMAX

-John Cena

3am in the morning

excuse me i just saw a sign that said “nut then what?” and i almost had a heart attack while driving

     NUT

   T HEN W   HAT ?

FITTED TO WHOM

MEEEEEEEEEEEE BABYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could watch this all day.

he flipped

I swear to gawd do it again. Do it… Do it again I promise you… Do it, i swear to gawd, bro…

@scottbaiowulf

all i do is eat and complain about how much im gaining weight

He SLAYS

In summary: haha

I just witnessed a murder 

I want to party with this man so much.

always reblog

Gaga : Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

8 year old me : 

before talkin shit on straight men maybe try talking to some for a period of more than five minutes at a time cause all y’all treat straight men on this website like incels treat women

JESUS

also whats with the huge fucking push to stop 14+ year old high schoolers from trick or treating. like … the fuck would you rather these kids be doing? getting drunk at a party? just let them have fun you bitter old losers.

LET 👏 PEOPLE 👏 HAVE 👏 HARMLESS 👏 FUN 👏 NO 👏 MATTER 👏 THEIR 👏 AGE 👏

Icarus’ wings should not have melted as the air actually gets cooler the higher you get, but the Greeks wouldn’t not have had any way of knowing that.

are you trying to tell me that you think no greek has ever climbed a fucking mountain before 

Lmaooo how accurate

2016: fearing your favourite celebrity is dead when you see his name trending

2017: fearing your favourite celebrity is a rapist when you see his name trending