you keep us safe

i had the best human interaction of all time last night. i was sitting at a bar eating an appetizer and this guy comes up to order a drink and stares at my food and comments how good it looks. when i am drunk i use the word bitch like it is a comma, i plug it into any space in a sentence possible. so naturally the first thing i say to this stranger is, “go ahead and take one, bitch.”

he looks SO shocked and taken aback and goes “what did you just say? how do you know my name?” so i sit there for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck he is talking about, and then go, “…. bitch?” and he looks so relieved and tells me his name is mitch.

i cannot stop thinking about this. oh my god. imagine going into a bar and someone you know for a fact youve never met approaches you and says “go ahead and take one, mitch.” im cracking the fuck up. he looked like he thought this was the fucking truman show

Q&a in london

what if ronan and adam were listening to music together and they were sharing headphones and ronan decided to fuck with adam by playing the murder squash song but when adam didn’t react he realized that adam had put the headphone in his deaf ear cause he didn’t want to listen to ronan’s shitty music in the first place.

me when someone changes their url and icon at the same time:

after years of waiting, it finally happens- maggie stiefvater releases the first book of the ronan lynch trilogy. you’re at the bookstore at the release, practically shaking with excitement, passing the hours by swapping theories and headcanons with friends.

at midnight, you dash to the cash register, slamming your money on the counter and taking the novel, thanking the cashier as you squeeze your way through the crowd.

sitting in the passenger seat of your friend’s car, you open the book, barely suppressing tears of joy. taking a deep breath, you crack open the spine.

you read the first words- “Squash one, squash two,” and on and on and on. horrified, you turn the page. this can’t be right, this can’t be all! but the book is empty. the ronan lynch trilogy is the murder squash song, and that is all.

viiviirs:

Candice Patton is all of us.