me: goodnight moon :)

moon: should’ve been saying goodnight 5 hours ago its 4am asshole get your life together

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Dracula had it right; sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a hundred bats to avoid social interactions.

Han is all “there’s to much Vader in him,” without mentioning that there is too much Vader in Leia too. 

Like, Bail Organa, bless his poor poor soul, tried to politician the Vader out of her. He tried SO FUCKING HARD. 

But the fact that she abandoned politics to be a General in the Resistance says a lot about her similarities to Anakin Skywalker. 

See, people get it wrong. They assume because Luke got the blond hair and the lightsaber that he is Anakin’s child. He’s not. He’s Padme’s.

Leia, though. Leia is very much Anakin’s child. She is the one with the deep anger in her. She is the one who will bring peace to her new empire freedom and justice back to the galaxy whether the galaxy wants it or not. She is the one who commands armies and amasses followers as easy as breathing. She joined the Rebellion while she was in her teens. She is the one with the spirit of a warrior.

Don’t get me wrong; Bail Organa did his damnedest to raise her in the mold of her mother, fighting her battles in the halls of power with words as her weapons. And she was very good at it. But unlike Padme, Leia’s words always had an edge to them, her tone and meaning always a little too sharp, a little too angry. 

Peace and mercy are the trademarks of Luke and Padme. Justice and order, obtained by whatever means necessary, are the marks of Leia and Anakin.

#you just know if she had a lightsaber on the death star she would have pulled a tusken massacre on the bridge #tarkin vader the techs everyone #dead as soon as she could reach them

How the throne room scene actually should’ve gone:

“If you will not turn to the Dark Side, perhaps she will.”

“Pffffthahahahaha yeah, okay Dad, let me know how that turns out. Look, the reason I’m here instead of her is because I want you alive and not a cloud of vaporized plastic. You know she strangled Jabba the Hutt with the chain he put around her neck, right? That’s what she does to people who try to control her. Better tell your Emperor you’re not allowed to have any more ideas.”

#this is so true it’s beautiful#I bet Vader almost felt glad every time Luke turned up with the lightsaber when they faced off#Vader was like ‘Oh thank the Force it’s the nice one that got the lightsaber skills’

ok so for my students’ final project, i’m having them select any text they’d like and produce a new edition of it, one that’s targeted towards a different audience than the text in its original form. their edition has to include a critical introduction as well, explaining the changes that they’ve made to the text and to its material form, challenges they encountered, etc.

i’m reading the project proposals now and there are so many good ones – a cnn article on “alternative facts” re-edited to work as a kindergarten lesson about political engagement, rewriting a piece of the californian legislation family code so it’s legible to non-experts or ESL parents, “no fear hegel” (kill me), a version of cat in the hat for high schoolers that includes peritext explaining its connection to the cold war, etc. but i just got to this one: “Have you ever wondered what would happen if you combined the underlying feelings of aggression and angst in modern American middle schoolers with the manipulative and cunning nature of Machiavellian philosophy?” 

he’s editing the prince for preteens.

i made the mistake of posting this when i was only halfway through the stack. listen. listen. the official bartender’s guide, for NASA astronauts. 

I want to read several of these.

I want to read all of these. Especially The Bartender’s Guide to the Galaxy.

So, are they up anywhere?

I just died, this killed me

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this

My english teacher played the whole song in class once. I think he was trying to describe postmodernism. 

Just remember that Mark Hamil showed this to Carrie Fisher and they both couldn’t stop laughing. Its Luke and Leia Approved

DELETE THIS POST

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

*clicks play in morbid curiosity*

*hammers reblog button*

I LOVE NOT WEARING MAKEUP BC I CAN JUST RUB MY EYES AND NOTHING HAPPENS

im sorry to everyone who has ever tried to talk to me and then realized my communication skills are equivalent to a stale piece of bread

I’ve repeatedly seen British people make fun of American food for apparently always being either “too sweet or too salty” but our cuisine is still pretty mild compared to a lot of other countries, and having repeatedly tried British food, I’m pretty sure the term you’re looking for is “having any flavor at all.”

Britain invaded over half the world for spices and then decided they didn’t like any of them

you’re half-joking but that is legitimately what happened

how to tell if your worldbuilding is Bad

i didn’t wanna reblog this just cos it doesn’t deserve to get seen but:

a) dwarves don’t share the gender binary that humans use, heterosexual versus homosexual is meaningless to them

b) gnomes have such a predilection towards illusions that gender is primarily based on presentation. because of consistent interaction with humans, they tend towards visually hetero relationships just for sake of public ease but gnomes all know gender is an ilusion

c) halflings are super community oriented. they would be incredibly accepting of homosexuality because frowning on someone for liking a particular gender is counter to community building

d) goblins don’t believe in sexuality they believe in food

e) orcs are 100% butch lesbians and bears. they are totally gay with a small side of being attracted to muscles and soft hairy bellies “but if they’re all gay how do they reproduce?” magic rituals motherfucker it’s a fantasy world

f) tieflings never have a predominant culture and tend to ascribe to human values, with a bit of “i’m already an outcast, so anything goes”. i don’t wanna say tieflings are super gay just because there is a lot of baggage that comes with the evil demon race being super gay but tieflings are super gay

g) dragonborn carry a lot of draconic values, one of the most notable being vanity. if a dragonbron is gay, they will literally be the embodiment of that “move, i’m gay” video. taboo my ass just try to stop that dragonborn, they’ll show you the meaning of flaming

bottom line here is really that if you thought the dnd races were straight you were so wrong. i am going to find you and rub my gay ass on your player’s handbook

bury me with this post it’s perfect

“I waited too long to read the sequel, and now I can’t even remember the characters.”

 A novel by me

“I read the whole series in less than two days, and now can’t separate the events of individual books” the thrilling sequel

“I’ve read so much fanfic for this series, I can’t remember what really happened in the books” the stunning conclusion

New subculture:

Cowgoth. We dress like cowboys but in all black and we don’t listen to anything but classic country songs about murder.

This is just the Johnny Cash fandom.

How to write a morally gray character:

How to not write a morally gray character

It’s alright, you can say Kylo Ren

‘boy i sure wish i was asleep,’ i whisper, clicking Next Chapter fourteen fucking times

i was initially ashamed of myself but now after seeing how many reblogs there are im ashamed of all of us

No shame!

But very few sleep hours accrued.

The Internet: HERE IS A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS I HATED IN STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI

Me: