@ straight women if you wouldn’t call your platonic male friend your boyfriend then don’t call your platonic female friend your girlfriend oh my god stop making life even harder for wlw

i hope someone has a secret crush on me. at least a little tiny one.like a baby sprout one…like a little drop maybe,a little syrupy drop of crushy crush baby love nectar

thick thighs, thin patience

If you don’t understand why people don’t like the big bang theory, once in an episode the cast was at a comic store browsing and a woman walked in, and one of the leads said “Is she lost?” and that was the joke.

literally everyone: why doesnt josh get a happy ending he deserves one

until dawn writers, confused: wwait you guys.. want to save josh??? but?? he’s a mentally ill poc??? why would you ?? want to save? him????? we did everything in our power to Literally demonize him??????? did it not work???

*blows kiss up to the sky (for the aliens)*

my law teacher built a ten foot fence because he hated his neighbour, but the city made him take it down because theres a five foot limit on fences, so he poured five feet of concrete on the ground and then built a five foot fence on top of that and the city tried suing him because it was ten feet but they lost because the actual fence was only five

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID THIS GET NOTES

because your law teacher defeated the law 

i dab every morning when i wake up

trying to flirt like

A girl just told me that boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider and I had no come back. I just got owned by an 8 year old

She followed this up with ‘girls go to college to get more knowledge’ so this kid is clearly all about smashing the patriarchy through rhyme and I respect that

me: types out a post

me, deleting it: God jsut shut the fuck

my talents include avoiding difficult conversations and getting really sad over things i saw coming

Me: *dies in single player* Me: this lag :\