Almost not a Hobbit

Unknown, Cat, 19th century

so when are the residents going to stop being evil?

On the morning of the knife fight I was scheduled to lose, I washed myself in the ritual soap and dressed in soft, loose fitting clothes as was the custom. I would not break my fast until after the deed was done.

My second ferried me to the entry point at the North, where I declared my secret name to the gatekeeper and several acolytes in quick succession. They prepared me for the inner sanctum, infusing my veins with salt water and drawing intricate sigils on my chest. I bid farewell to my second, who would keep vigil outside. I remember very little after this, but when I awoke, I felt a great weight had been lifted from my chest.

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Anyway, the top surgery yesterday went great!

today’s gender is [FRAGILE; PLEASE HANDLE WITH CARE]

I love everything about every single one of these

Banging out the tunes, WWI, circa 1914

I could be wrong but I think people are reblogging this without noticing it is a photo of Neil banging out the tunes 107 years ago

Owls are masters of disguise, blending seamlessly into their surroundings. 

These trees appear to be judging me.

There’s no owl in that 6th pic

sneaky

Holy shit

thank you cause i was sholl looking for it 😭

it’s like Where’s Wally but with birbs and i would buy an entire book of it

i know an engineer-type dude who said fiction bored him, because fiction is mostly-formulaic and tropey, and you can generally guess what’s gonna happen next, and yada yada

so his solution for this problem was… to solely read serial web novels in languages that (1) he did not speak, and (2) for which there was no actual translation, fan or otherwise

apparently, the combined forces of “trying to figure out WTF is going on via the power of Google Translate" + “cultural differences in storytelling conventions” + “the inherent randomness of where the hell amateur authors are gonna take their plots”—those all mashed up to make stories that were unpredictable enough to keep him guessing all the time

then he described to me this totally batshit-sounding Hungarian story he’d been obsessively reading once a week for years

and god i think about him all the time.  like.  that is the most wild way to process fiction that i have ever heard of, but also, i’ve gotta admire the sheer chaos energy of it

like i tried to tell him suspense isn’t about having no fucking clue what’s going on, it’s about having expectations subverted in novel and interesting ways that nonetheless accord with one’s understanding of the story’s universe, etc

and he’s just like “no.  suspense is when i cannot guess what is happening next, full stop.  quantum physics is a suspense novel”

these proud lesbian moms wish you a good morning

been investing in a bunch of stock recently. chicken…beef….shrimp…the returns are gonna be so good

Amazing Snow Chonkers

Photos by Sämpy

please read this oh my god

These are better than the originals tbh

u all ever lose the ability to socialize in the middle of a convo like.... ok i’m done now there’s no more words in here brain shutting off

I made a clean template of this meme if anyone is interested

I didn’t even register this as a template, I thought it was just a existential meme