My mother was isolated for years because every possible social group or club or event she was interested in told her that she wasn't allowed to bring her children "unless they could behave." What this usually actually meant was, "teenagers are allowed, but only if they sit in the corner and don't make any noise."
When I was a teenager, she and I tried to join the SCA together, and some bitchy lady at the new member meetup straight-up asked us to leave, telling us it didn't seem like "the right environment" for us because my mom couldn't "control her children." What actually happened was that my sibling, who was a literal toddler at the time, wanted to run around in circles because he was bored and restless and there were no other kids to play with. The venue didn't have anywhere outside that I could take him to play while my mom stayed at the meeting, so we got told my sibling was "too loud" and asked to go home and not come back until we could hire a babysitter. I still don't know where this woman found the audacity, but she did, and my mom didn't have it in her to start a fight.
So we had to leave. And it was mortifying. I was furious because I really, really wanted to join the SCA, but I felt fucking horrible for my mother. I at least got to see friends at school, but this was the one thing my mom had tried to do in order to be social and get out of the house. It resulted in her getting shamed for having children who act like normal goddamn children instead of little dolls that can't speak or run around or make any noise.
We lived in poverty. She couldn't afford a sitter. We had just moved to the area and didn't know anyone who could help. My dad worked long hours because his paycheck was our only income. My mom had to quit her job because childcare was too expensive. I couldn't babysit very often, because I had to go to school. People insisting that children shouldn't be a "nuisance" in public kept my mother trapped in the house, to the point where she would hesitate just to get groceries because so many people would yell at her when one of the babies cried. She hit the point where she refused to go run errands at all unless someone could either come with her or stay home to babysit.
But because my dad was always at work and I was always at school? It made it hard to get groceries outside a very specific window. It's not like we could just get them delivered--that service didn't exist yet. Getting groceries was frequently a once-a-month affair, and this on top of the poverty had a direct impact on food availability in our home.
And to top it off, when my mother talked to her doctor about the amount of horrific stress and pain she was dealing with during this time? He told her "that's just what being a mom is like." She still tells this story, because it was such a horrific example of medical misogyny. She didn't diagnosed with her multiple chronic medical conditions for years, all because some doctor had it in his head that "moms are supposed to be isolated and exhausted."
Our society treats parents and children like utter shit, and it's appalling.
