Damage prediction on pears during transportation.

bad and naughty children get put in The Pear Wiggler to atone for their crimes

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, THE PEAR WIGGLER RETURNS

Whoever made this, may your pillows always be fluffed and cool and may you never hit a red light as long as you live.

I haven’t laughed this hard in a long mf time.

[credit to liffeh on twitter!]

My dad has a little gag he loves doing that involves me being trans (it’s fun- don’t worry).

So, my dead name is also the name of a food item (spelled different but sounds the same). We sometimes eat that food item- it’s a nice treat. His little joke is that he will only call that food “Dead Names”- which leads to hilarious instances of hearing my 70 year old father call out “Hey, I’m going to go grab some Dead Names while we’re here!” while he’s half way down the isle in the grocery store, or him coming home and saying “hey, I picked up a box of Dead Names while I was out! :)”

It just makes me so overwhelmingly happy that my old name is not something wrapped in grief. It doesn’t represent a loss. It is something we can smile about and remember even if it doesn’t fit me anymore.

too bad + L + blue yoshi

[I.D. an edited pyramid graph of maslow's hierarchy of needs where large text covering every section of basic, psychological and self-fulfillment needs read "people online telling me they like the thing i made". end I.D.] (image description by @lemondoddle )

So I have this headcanon about Larry...

love the genre of tumblr posts that start out "DESTROY THE MYTH THAT" followed by something you've never heard any human being say

DESTROY THE MYTH THAT BRUNETTES CAN’T WEAR JEANS

poppy is my beloved leopard gecko. she is incredibly grumpy, which may or may not be because i draw stupid art of her

you heard him

People complaining that the checks ruining the formatting of the website have forgotten their roots! This is the shitty formatting website and always has been

In retrospect this is almost definitely the reason why putting your response in the tags is so common and popular

This is the

Reblog for good financial luck! 🍀

present

I wish I could blaze a post telling people to test their smoke alarms but I have literally no money so if y’all could help me spread this the old fashioned way

Test your smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors