get the fuck up.

some twewy art for the soul

The condemnation of subtle dynamics in gay relationships and the demonization of sexuality in media has resulted in this frankly kind of horrifying middle ground for queer relationships in media. It's a middle ground devoted entirely to the pre-teen romance / Hallmark movie style of romance, where everything hinges upon the kiss. You'll never really know if these characters love each other until they kiss, the ultimate expression of true love.

This is not only juvenile, it is a slap in the face to the decades of queer works that had to be subtle about their messaging to survive. It completely eliminates any deliberate subtlety or nuance given in more mature storytelling. It invalidates the lived experiences of many, many queer people, who are being scrapped to fit this incredibly constricting mold, as their dirty, messy, and often sexual lives are seen as too gross.

And personally I just find this view point incredibly annoying.

Via sansanpetart

Why do we never talk about the juxtaposition between Sybelle, Benji and Armand? 

By the end of ‘The Vampire Armand’, Armand finds Benji, a 12-year-old boy who was sold as a slave and who learned to live in a new world while loving his captor/buyer. And he also finds Sybelle, a woman who is a talented artist that has gone through terrible trauma and has developed a penchant for self-soothing in the form of obsessive repetition / compulsion. She is also being abused by the one who is supposed to love her and care for her, her own brother.

Two mortals who have suffered exactly the same as Armand did, see him at his lowest and decide to help him. Two lost children who love him as he is, as monstrous as that might be. 

That is why Marius betraying Armand and turning them against his wishes is, for me, one of the harshest scenes in the entire Vampire Chronicles series. 

(All the quotes in this post are from 'The Vampire Armand')

Sybelle and Benji are Armand's story in the flesh, and in their mortality they have the chance to create a new life that would break the cycle of pain and abuse they had suffered. Armand sees himself as the one who can provide the opportunity for them, the one that can save them and himself in the process, giving them a second chance at a safe and happy mortal life.

But Marius wouldn’t allow it. 

No matter how many times I read the final scene of 'The Vampire Armand', I always cry. And this is why. 

Marius not only hurt Armand by transforming his "mortal friends", in his mind saving them from a potential disengaging and unraveling of their mortal minds. Marius once again proved (unconsciously) that no matter how many times his fledgling had lived through it before, Armand's story will continue to repeat itself, either in his own life or in others. There will always be abuse, pain and subjugation. That is the nature of what Marius unconsciously believes and, by extension, what he seeks to "teach" Armand, even if he hides it behind his reasoning of providing Armand with love through Sybelle and Benji.

He took Armand's agency once again, as surely as the mortal world did with Sybelle and Benji.

A terrible, horrible argument. And sadly, a very realistic one.

I’ve got you

I’m gonna do a bit more with them later on, but since tumblr is better at showing gifs than twitter here’s a WIP of sorts

god gave us free will for a reason (plays on the computer for 12 hours a day)

22nd November

you fucking bet it does

(using the Silent Hill 2 death generator)

KIETA HATSUKOI (2021)