Why? How is this justified?

(via thatdiabolicalfeminist)

and let’s not forget, deeply ableist. It is difficult for people with chronic pain, fatigue, or physical disability to always look perfectly presentable and polished and “professional”. It is difficult for people with mood or personality disorders to consistently put on a professionally chipper, engaged persona. It is difficult for someone with autism or social anxiety to behave in a perfectly socially adroit, “professional”, fashion with all coworkers, clients, and customers all of the time. It is emotionally and psychologically draining for people with executive functioning disorders (including autism, ADHD, anxiety, or even a head trauma) to stay on task at all times, regulating all emotions, seeming universally inoffensively pleasant, and engaging with a variety of people while participating in a high-stakes, high-stress environment. It’s near impossible for someone with psychotic symptoms, hallucinations, flashbacks, or severe symptoms of trauma to handle the chronic social and emotional stress of being expected to be “professional” in a competitive work environment. 

Professionalism is an amorphous concept used to filter out people who do not present typically or as members of the majority. And in many cases, what we deem professional is at best arbitrary, and at worst deliberately designed to shut certain classes of people out. 

(via erikadprice)

Jep, and professional is also defined by a strict gender binary. Every gender deviance is deemed ‘unprofessional’.

(via consensualbuttflicking)

So many people on tumblr complain about having no friends but then they reblog shit like 

“If your friend doesn’t respond to your every text immediately they are not your friend” 

and “A true friend would never value themselves over your sanity. Friends who ‘need space’ away from your mental health issue are TO X  I C”  and “if someone doesn’t drop everything to help you when you’re in need, congrats, you just found out who your fake friend is” 

and it’s like…this is why.

You had friends and then shat on them with your fucked up abusive standards.

congratulations on shutting down every mentally ill person who NEEDS this kind of attention to survive and telling us we dont deserve friends for the way our brains fuck us up and tell us that if they dont do just the smallest things they hate us and wantus to die and dont want to be our friends i hate nts

You’re friends world doesn’t revolve around you. Honestly your response is one of the most selfish things I’ve read.

You need to realize that your mental illness can be toxic and harmful to your friends, that it can be controlling and poisonous. That your friends world doesn’t just revolve around you.

I had a friend like that once. She had her mental instabilities and she suffered from depression and things like that and so she came to me because I was her friend. I tried to be THAT friend. Whenever she would text or call me, I would be there to to talk to her, to give her advice no matter how busy i was, and i was BUSY. I genuinely wanted to help her through her problems and i felt guilty for wanting to put my academics over her. But in school she would often complain that she had absolutely no friends, as if I didn’t exist. I tried to understand though, that sometimes it may FEEL like you don’t have anyone I suppose, so I stuck with her so she wouldn’t feel alone. I wish I saw it then, but it was just tip of the iceberg. She was manipulating me. She would tell me secrets, and make me promise to never tell another soul. And I didn’t, cause I cared. Come to find out she went and told the whole school herself, saying the same thing to each person “promise not to tell anyone, you’re the only one I can trust”. I would tell her to go seek professional help because she was hurting herself and getting into all sorts of trouble. But she would say the same thing “I can’t, you’re the only one I can trust.” Almost every night we would talk over Facebook and she would constantly reaffirm our friendship, saying “you’re my friend, right?” almost the same way, every day, and I would always say the same thing “yes”. This went on for about 2 years. It got to the point that I would hide my online status on facebook when I saw that she was online. I was going through hardships of my own and when I would go to her about it, she would quickly dismiss it and go on about HER problems. She would come to me with her problems, I would tell her how to solve them, she would totally disregard everything I told her and get herself into trouble again, and come crying to me for the same answers to the same problems and repeat the cycle over and over again. I would be up at midnight writing college essays, filling out college applications, looking for scholarships, and she would call me complaining about the same problems that I had given her the solutions to countless times. But I would drop everything and go through the whole spiel again, because I tried to be THAT friend. The friend that those people want. The one that would put their whole life on halt for their friends. And it did a toll on me, both physically and mentally. I got no sleep or mental rest because I was basically juggling her problems, on top of my own, as well as school preparing for college. Every time she sensed I was sort of backing out she would bring up the fact that she would kill herself or that I was the one and only friend she had (which wasn’t true). It was my mom who finally told me to distance myself from her, because she could see how badly this kind of relationship was affecting me, and she had been in a similar one herself, so she recognized the signs. My dad, a Star Trek fan, called people like that Klingons because they literally cling on to you and feed off of the attention you give them. I’m not knocking people with mental disabilities or depression or anything like that, because they are serious. But don’t treat your friends like your 24/7 therapists or psychiatrists. We cannot put our whole lives on hold, jeopardize our future for you. Even therapists tell their patients “no I can’t speak with you today” or “you have to schedule an appointment, you can’t just call whenever you want”. And it’s not to be selfish. I thought it was selfish of me to prioritize my health or education over my friend who needed my help. But I realized, I’m not a therapist, and I have to look out for myself too.

I hit a point for a lot of folks where I have to go “I can’t help you with that. You need to speak with a professional.” Sometimes it takes time to convince them to go but it usually helps them. Yes, there are mental illnesses that can manifest symptoms that are these things but that doesn’t mean you embrace them and accept them as okay behaviors. They’re abusive behaviors. And you have to learn how to manage them and not let those feelings jerk you around. And before one of you comes back with a catty “lol neurotypicals” I’ve got an anxiety disorder and it took me literally up until last year to get help for it and there were times I was abusive and my fiance is fantastic because he shut that shit down fast and helped me to rationalize what I was feeling and learn better ways to cope. It was work. It wasn’t a cake walk. But I’m a better person for it and I feel better for it and it helped me stay stable until I could get therapy and medication to get more stable. Your friends have lives and are people. You are not the centerpoint for them. There’s a really good quote that goes “mental illness has a really sinister way of making it all about YOU” like say, with anxiety, you go to a store and feel like everyone is staring at you or judging you when in reality it’s just people shopping. They probably don’t even notice you. You hear friends talking about someone but not specifically so you think it must be you and it must be bad. It blows. For me, I would stop myself when I had those thoughts, pause and remind myself “There’s a good chance this isn’t about you. There’s a good chance friend is just busy. Does that suck? Yeah, but it’s not their fault. They have shit to do. Let’s find something to occupy our time until they get back to us.” then I’d go play a game or something. Learning skills like that will improve your relationships with others because you’re not only focused on you.

mental illness is not an excuse to be abusive.

A little louder for the ppl in the back

WNBA players just took a stand in favor of #BlackLives Matter and the league fined them

“Seventy percent of the @wnba players are African-American women and as a league collectively impacted. My teammates and I will continue to use our platform and raise awareness for the #BlackLivesMattermovement until the @wnba gives its support as it does for Breast Cancer Awareness, Pride and other subject matters.”

Photos: Instagram/Tina Charles/Twitter

Black women ride harder for #BLM than anyone else. They mobilize, create and educate and it breaks my heart to see them fight so hard and still be underrepresented in a movement that they created.

lmao I love this video

@apocalypticallyyours honestly us

Please stop using #sayhisname.

It is erasure and harmful. Black women made the hashtag #sayhername because the deaths of Black women were being ignored in favor of focusing on men. Replacing this and redirecting the attention to men is misogynoir.

today, my dad pulled into the parking lot where i work to pick me up, and my sister who had been at the corner of the store after i told her friends’ parents to drop her off. her friend was with her. my 11 year old sister said, “daddy’s here!” “alright,” i said, getting ready to get off my shift. “daddy?” her friend asked, and cocked an amused brow. “yeah?” my sister said, giving her a weird look. “you call him ‘daddy’? that’s weird. don’t you know what that means?” she asked. “yeah,” my sister said, looking at her like she was stupid. “it’s another word for ‘father.’” being horrified at the possible insinuation her friend had made, i interjected. “you ready to go, girls?”.

for adults that say that DD/lg doesn’t effect or hurt people outside of “the community”: i just witnessed an 11-year old girl acting like it’s common knowledge that the term “daddy” is sexual. that is outside of the community. that is harmful. that is toxic. that is hurtful. and i will never forgive any of you for it, and will always hold you especially accountable for the increased pedophilia in porn and rape culture year by year.

No shame: I fucking hate everyone normalizing “daddy” as a sexual term.

Why would you sign up to be a cop if you don’t think your life should be in danger… like do you people realize you don’t make any sense? “Stop laughing because now my dad who is a cop is in danger” what? why did he pick that job if he didn’t want to be in danger? He was in danger the second he chose to be a police that’s his fault… It’s not like he’s a fucking retail worker, cops job is to be put in dangerous positions, if that’s not what they want then get another fucking job like the rest of us. Nobody forced your ugly ass family to be cops…

Bank of America freezes black mother’s account because ‘she doesn’t look like she should have this amount  of money’

A single mom from Detroit says Bank of America is holding literally “every single dime” she has to her name hostage. After receiving $50,000 in settlement money from a lawsuit regarding her younger brother’s death a teller at one of the bank’s branches took one look at her and decided it was suspicious that someone like her would have this kind of money. Assuming something fishy had to be going on, he flagged her account for fraud, which resulted in her account being frozen.

Having done nothing wrong, Christina Anderson still finds herself unable to pay her bills, her rent, or even feed her four children, despite the fact that she has more than enough money.

The $50,000 was wired directly into her account with Bank of America on May 20. There was an initial two-hour hold placed on the funds until everything could be verified, but then she was told she would have full access to her money. Over the next several days she was able to make substantial withdrawals from her account with no problems.

Then on May 24, Anderson totaled her car. She went to a different branch of Bank of America to withdraw $5,000 from her account so that she could purchase a new vehicle. But the teller that waited on her decided there was no way someone like her should have money like that.

The guy behind the counter started asking me where did I get the money from, and a bunch of questions” she recalled. “And I told him, I feel that’s none of his business, so I’m going to go to another branch where I feel more comfortable.”

When Anderson got to a different branch she found out that her account had been frozen, meaning all the money she has is now off-limits. When she accused the bank of discrimination she was told to leave.

I feel like you guys are discriminating against me; is it because I’m black?’ And then … she told me to leave out the back because I was upset,” Anderson said she asked the staff at the bank. “Yes, I was [upset]. I was mad because these are my funds.  Why can’t I receive my funds?”

Anderson says she has not been able to access any of her funds since that day. Her rent is due and without a car, she can’t even get to work. The bank has told her nothing about the status of her account..

We’ve frozen the customer’s account under the terms of our Deposit Agreement and Disclosures,” the bank statement explained. “In the agreement, if at any time we believe a customers’ account may be subject to irregular, unauthorized, fraudulent or illegal activity, we may, in our discretion, freeze the funds in the account and in other accounts they maintain with us, without any liability to the customer, until we are able to complete our investigation of the account and transactions.”

The Patriot Act of 2001 gives bank employees the leeway to use their discretion to freeze any accounts that they suspect of suspicious activity. For example, a single black mother who isn’t poverty-stricken. Clearly suspicious.

I feel like my money is being held hostage. Every single dime is tied up in that bank,”Anderson said. “I thought I was being safe putting money in the bank, but it seems I’m safer putting it under my mattress.”

Anderson said she was told by the bank that it could take up to a year for the investigation to be completed and for access to her funds to be restored.

Bank of America, along with Wells Fargo, in particular have a history of making the news for being antiblack. And in cases of banks, antiblack racism means denying loans, offering much higher interests rates, red zoning, pushing us into predatory loans, and freezing accounts.

I’m sure other banks do it just as much and it’s just these two have been caught doing it, but I know neither of them will ever see a penny from me.

it would be cool if fat dudes without big beards were considered hot sometimes too.

I realized today that the main reason for the “hot fat dude must also include beard” thing is part of the whole “fat people are required to perform a higher and more perfect expression of gender”.

like usually this sort of thing is more easily identifiable in fat women, who have to be hyper feminine to be considered “attractive” by the mainstream.  but I sort of blinked today and realized, oh.  fat men must have beards to be attractive for the same reason fat men must wear suits and look dapper to be attractive, just like fat women have to have perfect eyeliner and wear cute pinup clothing.  higher, more intense expression of gender, executed perfectly and without flaw is required for fat people to be seen as attractive.

FUCKING NAILED IT

This strikes me as being directly related to those jackholes who are enraged when someone poor has some small or relatively small luxury: they think this is how economics work.

A New Way of Understanding ‘Eyes on the Street’

Turning neighbors into the “eyes and ears of the police” can actually reinforce fear and violence.

Source

The more people enjoy public spaces, like streets, the safer they become. And it happens only without police presence. How simple.

SAD ASIAN GIRLS CLUB project 2

have u seen this @dominatrixjigglypuff

People acting like Becky is a racial slur saying “what would happen if we made fun of your names” like you haven’t been making fun of women named Shaniqua for years. Like you don’t already come up with names like Purpledrankeisha or Friedchickeneisha or Welfareisha to ridicule us. 

What I don’t think people realize is that antisemitism isn’t just prevalent in Christian history, its institutional.

The church was directly responsible for antisemitism in Europe and for over a thousand years was actively involved in spreading and promoting antisemitism.

That’s only the half of it. 

The church didn’t merely instigate antisemitism—it benefited from it. If you look back at instances of antisemitism throughout European history, you’ll see that on numerous occasions, after Jews were murdered or expelled, their property and belongings were all confiscated by church. In instances where Jews were permitted to stay somewhere, they often had to pay double taxes, sometimes to the state and sometimes directly to the church itself. Moreover, even in situations where the church wasn’t directly involved, it still stands that the citizens of many officially Christian states (and those states themselves) benefited from the appropriation of Jewish wealth. Who got our homes when we fled the country because of pogroms? Who got our pots and pans and furniture and clothes and jewelry and candlesticks when we were slaughtered by the millions? 

Christianity was built on the oppression and murder of the Jewish people. Period.