@the-sam-sam / the-sam-sam.tumblr.com
the song made me so fucking terrified and i thought they were gonna make a pussy i’m literally shaking this music makes me feel like I’m being chased by chicken pussy
Why do some people just teeter on the line of darkness like this?
For those wondering, this is the monster’s theme from the horror film “It Follows”! Why it was chosen to represent chicken pussy, though, remains a mystery.
Time Lapse of Plants - Three Days
Tfw you realize that much of Earth’s life moves and communicates on a time scale humans cannot hope to comprehend.
Plants exhibit a lot of behavior we typically associate only with animals, but don’t notice because of the difference in timescales and just how utterly alien plants are compared to ourselves. They communicate, the cooperate, they engage in parental care, and discoveries in the relatively new study of plant cognition seem to indicate that they have some capacity for decision making and learning. Just as we learned that animals are not, in fact, mindless, unfeeling automata we are now learning the same is true of plants.
I wish we could see them waving around and moving though in real time :(
interesting fact i have titanium in my spine
Titanium not only is crazy durable, but it noo magnet! Thas wy Dock chok jjiun spi; surgyr ad pater noster, qui es in cœlis; sanctificetur nomen tuum: Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cœlo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie: Et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris: et ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malo.
dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞
the spirit is not willing and the flesh it is not so into the idea either
why small kittens are always either the most pathetic or the most evil creature you've ever seen
Pathetic and evil all at once! This sopping wet and menacing pair of kitties here to cause trouble! Get this devious and dichotomous duo for only $4.56!
Uniform assignments
House is pregnant
good for him!!!!
I’ve been thinking about this all day
Elizabeth Warren off the shits
thought this looked cool…
mattfoggy is otp for life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR LIFE
Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.
The galactic council watched on to see how humanity would handle the task, much as they had with several species before. What the test was supposed to show was whether or not a species of violent nature could ever be brought to work together. They finally picked something up, another ship already headed to Mars? Was it possible humans were that clever to have found the key, maybe it was more specialists and equipment to analyze the locked crate to ensure it was safe to open. A few minutes after landing, they got another broadcast from the red planet.
“This is the LockPickingLawyer and today I’ve got something quite special, this locked alien chest. First of all I have to thank everyone who recommended me for the job, I’m honored that you all thought of me. Now let’s get to work”
The council representatives were confused as they started analyzing the translation, before even getting through the name he spoke something haunting
“Normally I don’t say things like this but this lock is quite unique, however with no security pins it will still be quite quick.”
“There we go, a click on 3… “
All the species of the galactic council sat dumbfounded, they spent many galactic cycles refining and perfecting their study and in all their time not a singular race had tried this method. Click after click, even in such an intricate lock the human had only spent around five minutes tampering with it.
“There we go, now while I can’t open this as part of my video I can say that I at least have a clue what the key should look like in case it ever gets locked again. I admire the design choices and the fact that at least it was harder to get open than anything Master Lock has made”
we are the “oh, I know a guy” teamwork species
[Image description: a screenshot of tumblr tags reading
#tumblr fiction # THAT’S THE THING THO #humans are a team effort species #but we’re a team effort species THROUGH individual specialized roles! #you don’t all try to go hunt the elephant! #you have a handful of dudes who are experts in hunting elephant! #and they do it!]
We are the “oh I know a guy!” teamwork species!
That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out how to say about adulting. Adulting isn’t about knowing how to handle every situation. Adulting is about knowing who knows how to handle any given situation, and how to contact them. No one knows all the things; the adultiest of adults still has places where they don’t have a damn clue — they just call another person who’s adultier in that area than they are.
The trees look so nice today
Some more
Color lithograph Langage des Fleurs (Language of Flowers), Alphonse Mucha, 1900
How 2 avoid telling ur kid his dad was a wizard
