The 2nd Showbiz

i hate that im sensitive and jealous and stupid and quiet and ugly and annoying 

Muse // Reapers (Live @ iHeartRadio Theater, NYC) [x]

its hard to be attractive when youre not

“When I was pregnant with you, this old, homeless, dirty gipsy woman on the lower east side of Manhattan stopped me in the street to tell me that I was having a boy because of how low my stomach was hanging. When I gave birth to a girl, I tried to find the old beggar to tell her that she was wrong & I gave birth to a beautiful girl. 21 years later, I need to go back, find that smelly snaggle toothed troll & tell her she was right all along” - My mother’s words on me being transgender.

THIS IS MASTER MATERIAL FOR A MOVIE

[writes paper] this doesnt make any sense [prints it] [doesn’t proofread] [hands it in for a grade]

you know what’s always bugged me? when a character is faced with some magical two headed being or some shit and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to figure out which is which the character’s like “which one of you is the liar” or something like bruh literally all you gotta do is be like “what’s two plus two” one of them’s gonna say four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat david bowie. 

I feel like micheal cera never intended to act but ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time and was too awkward to tell them he wasn’t an actor so just filmed stuff anyway and now he’s let it go too far and can’t back out

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

You guys are fucking silly

and I’m gonna prove it!

Because honestly, only an idiot would believe that you can simply-

I must say Reginald, the oil sales have been most disappointing in the last fortnight, it’s positively appal-

IT GOT BETTER.

THE BEST POST EVER

Honestly, Rick Rolling is the best practical joke ever. Like, there’s nothing offensive or mean  spirited about it. It’s just like “Oops you thought there would be something else here but it’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’.” which isn’t even a bad song. It’s fairly enjoyable to listen to. There’s no jumpscares, no screaming, no ill will. Just Rick Astley telling you he’s never going to give you up. I think that’s great. “You fell into my trap! Here, listen to this completely benign song that will have no negative effect on you.” 

I wish this were true. There’s a really good article about the problems inherent with rickrolling here.

You can’t control me. I’m a defector.

me: i don’t understand why ppl are so mean to each other.. why can’t we all just get along?

me: *thinks about someone i hate* fuck that stupid bitch

I wanted to go driving by the volcano, but there was too much ash