i wish all my beloved followers and mutuals a very “you find a fic that has the exact premise and characterization you’ve always wanted to see but never had the energy to write yourself and it’s really good and just as long as you want to read”

i wish all the lovely people who see this post a very “you have the motivation to finish your own fic, that the person your fic is absolutely perfect for finds it, and that they leave a long and enthusiastic comment after reading”

I cannot get this poem out of my head. It haunts me. Joyously, it haunts me. 

@maxjo

Spam flops, box o' babies, and "Jurassic Collection" featuring not a single dinosaur movie (st vincent depaul and goodwill in NE Wisconsin)

HEY! So those SPAM thongs (aka flip flops) are from my favourite gift shop on the internet: the official SPAM gift shop. And what is not pictured here is the SPAM spamming they will do if you wear them on the beach. Behold:

some nostalgia for your monday

faking your own death and then posting full ass and balls on an alt is so fascinating. like i almost can't even be mad at him that's so funny

cant post images in replies so

it's not even his balls???????????????????

his head should be on a pike for this

HELLO FANFIC AUTHORS IT’S TIME FOR A VOCAB LESSON

YOUR CHARACTERS SHOULD NOT BE MOANING LIKE A CHINESE DUMPLING OKAY THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

either way, things are sure gonna get

steamy

GET OUT

The L in LGBT is short for Lady who... erm, how shall I put this... prefers the company of women

The B in LGBT is short for "bonus 10% damage against everyone"

the T stands for "That's against community guidelines"

#WELCOME BACK KEN

happy sparkle on its wednesday monday

Antarctic sponges live on a time scale we can barely comprehend. 

UPDATE: WHAT THE FUCK

old boys

it took me 3 times reading this post to realized that (wild) meant living in the wild and wasn’t just a casual remark on the longevity of these organisms

Maximum longevity: 15,000 years (shit dude)

I think we're too harsh on medieval painters because this is legitimately what some poodle mixes look like

like. these breeds didn't even EXIST yet back then. those painters were PROPHETS.

Those are the painters, cursed by God for their incompetence

cyberfrot

Two trucks having wrecks

two trucks having wrecks

(via @lagowings)

Hey tumblr???? Hey fucking tumblr?????

hello?

sdfghjhgfd

Target audience

I have the dragon pussy candle (got it for my gf as a jokey Xmas gift) and

1. It smells pretty good! Fruit+spices+smoke?

2. The scent fucking SPREADS and LINGERS. I had it lit for like half an hour last winter and I swear to god our entire apartment smelled like dragon pussy for the rest of the night. My gf walked in the door and was immediately like “you lit the dragon pussy candle didn’t you” and I had to be like “yeah, I did”. We almost exclusively use it for either “we just smoked weed and now we’re opening all the windows” moments or “the cats just made a horrible monster smell that must be defeated by a greater monster”.

3. You will light it and immediately go “huh, yeah I guess that is what dragon pussy would smell like”