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King Køhler of Legoland

@ask-aph-dorkmark / ask-aph-dorkmark.tumblr.com

Hej, Denmark here!!! Call me Mathias if you want to! Maybe we can be friends? That sounds fun, doesn't it? -On Hiatus- *This is a mostly non-selective cosplay ask and rp blog! Please read the rules and all other pages before sending an ask in if you haven't yet!*
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azazels-eyes

Tumblr doesn’t care about Net Neutrality anymore.

Let’s take a look at some screenshots of an article I was reading earlier today…

Keyword: was. They don’t support net neutrality anymore. Why you ask? well…

Tumblr is owned by Yahoo. Now that Verizon (a company that hates net neutrality) bought Yahoo, they have demanded that Tumblr must stop supporting net neutrality too. The Tumblr staff has stopped posting about net neutrality.

This site is being forced to hate net neutrality. (article link)

this is why all those net neutrality posts are disappearing from your feeds. don’t let it do so

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hlywtr

the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”

the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”

the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”

the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”
the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”
the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”
  • the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”
  1. the absence of “no” does not mean “yes”
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renaroo

Give me two characters in my inbox

  • “vs.” for who I think would win a fight
  • “or” for who I like better
  • “+” for how I ship them (platonic, familial, romantic, not at all)

And I’ll give you my reasons for why!

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I cannot live in this house, in this environment, in this place anymore.

My mother who’s always been extremely controlling and abusive, today sat me down and told me that she will not allow me to move in with my grandma and go see my girlfriend this summer. She lied to my grandma and told her I attempted suicide to get her to agree to this.

This is just the latest in the long string of drama that is my family. Whenever i get money, from flipping items to commissions to dog walking, i either have to spend it immediately or hide it so it is not taken

My mom has told me that she will Baker Act me (have me put in inpatient psychiatric hold against my will) if i even step the tiniest bit out of line. She’s pushed back my date to see my girlfriend and my grandma to the 21st. She has my laptop and is holding it hostage until I’m put on an antipsychotic that she agrees with. Same with going outside, i may notbleave the house until im put on medication.

I’m 16 years old. My mom will lie, cheat, and manipulate the situation however it suits her to make sure she is the center of attention at all times and I’m the demon. This has led to the police being called on me (no charges pressed cuz it was bullshit) and several psychiatrists being demanded to that they say im crazy.

I have very few options here. I’m saving up a bit already for when i do leave, but ill have to start dipping into it soon by the looks of things. I can try getting emancipated, however thats a lengthy expensive and ultimately unrealistic process.

I have a good friend (my best irl friend actually) who is willing to let me crash on his couch should i need to, in that event id need money to buy food and for “rent”. This is my most likely option ATM, as my mom has successfully gotten EVERYONE in the family on her side.

To help relieve the financial stress, I’m doing moodboard comissions, crochet pattern comissions (i can do everything from clothing to rugs to amigurumi), writing comissions, theme/website design comissions, skype tutoring sessions, and accepting donations

My paypal is ilovejunko2000@gmail.com

My cash.me is $iamhamming

My mercari (where i sell p much everything imaginable) is iamhamming

My redbubble (which hasnt been updated in forever but i cant really do without a laptop) is 8bitfantasies

Moodboard comissions are 2$

Amigurumi patterns or stuffed animals are 10$, flat rate

Crochet blanket patterns are 10$, or 20$ for a physical blanket

All other crochet pattern comissions are 10$ a piece

Moodboards are 2$

Writing comissions are 25$/1000 words

Tutoring sessions are 20$ for a 30 minute session

Website design is on a case by case basis

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dannykitchen

Advice for girls: buy skinny jeans in the boy’s section

They’re more comfortable, still form fitting, and best of all: THE POCKETS. THEY HAVE ACTUAL POCKETS.

don’t believe me? look:

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these are boys pants, and they look just as good on me as any other skinny jeans I own

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See that phone? I’m going to put it in the pocket. Must be so small right??

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Ah yes, girl pants length. Probably can’t fit any further than that-

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what? what’s this?

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Good god. Oh good lord in heaven. This is blasphemous.

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Look at how much room is still there. There’s chaos in the streets. Babies are crying. Fashion designers are screaming out of fear of the unknown.

Buy your pants in the boys section, girls. Live in the beautiful world you deserve where you can fit shit in your pocket.

Curvy ladies: Men’s dress pants have more room in the butt. I don’t know why, I only know that all my dress pants for work are off the rack in the men’s department in Target. Literally nobody has noticed, except a couple of my younger coworkers who’ve asked me–you guessed it–”oh my god, where did you find pants with pockets?”

Tall ladies: men’s pants are easier to find in longer lengths than women’s pants are.

Trans ladies: Wanna get on this gravy train, but afraid people will misgender you for wearing clothes off the men’s racks? Step one: tell me who these people are and I will punch them in the face. Step two: if it doesn’t make you dysphoric, please don’t feel obligated to wear pants off the women’s racks if pants off the men’s racks are more comfy/useful to you. I’m a cis woman who’s been wearing pants from the boys’ section and, later, the men’s section, ever since I hit puberty and in thirteen years maybe, maybe half a dozen people have noticed. And it’s always women asking the oh-my-god-pockets question. You’re all good. <3

Fat ladies: you will pay the same for a pair of 42x32 jeans as for a pair of 34x32 jeans, instead of having to pay some kind of Fat Penance Tax by way of being in the “plus size” section. Also, did I mention more room in the butt?

Ladies concerned about modesty: For obvious reasons, there is more crotch space in men’s pants. Embrace it and enjoy a life free from cameltoe worries and spontaneous labia-wedgies when you squat down.

All ladies: I swear to god the waists in women’s pants these days are made specifically to fit exactly nobody so that no matter what you do, your underwear will show. Men’s pants do not do this. The waists sit where they’re supposed to and will actually lay flat against the small of your back instead of flopping open to show your unmentionables to the world. If you want hiphugger jeans, buy one leg-length too small and one waist-size too large and let them hang, and they still won’t accidentally show your undies. Men’s pants will last longer. They cost less, in a lot of cases. Embrace the men’s jeans. Buy the men’s jeans. Stop buying shitty flimsy women’s jeans that wear out in six months.

AND FINALLY: to determine your size in men’s pants, take a tape measure around your waist at its smallest point. This is your waist size and will be the first number in a pair of men’s pants. Next, take the tape measure from about an inch below your no-no squares parts, and run it to your ankle. (You may need a friend or parent to help with this.) This is your inseam length, and will be the second number on a pair of men’s pants. Men’s and boys’ pants are tailored the same way, so if you have trouble finding your waist size in men’s, hop over to the boys’ section. Feel no shame. If they’d give us decent fucking pants we wouldn’t have to steal theirs, right?

Listen you guys, I am SO MAD ABOUT THIS. I’ve seen this first post before, and recently my mom said, “Hey, did you see that post on Tumblr about shopping for jeans in the men’s department?”

And I said yeah, I’d seen it, I’ve been through the Trying To Fit Clothes On My Stupid Body wars, and this post really only applied to skinny jeans because they’re so stretchy. It couldn’t possibly work for regular jeans! I have TRIED SO MANY TIMES. I’ve always shopped in the men’s department because women’s clothes are like 90% bullshit and 10% fake pockets.

But I hadn’t seen the second addition, which gave me more hope, and I decided to just try on a few pairs when I was at Old Navy the other day. They have some “classic” jeans with no give to them at all, which is what I was trying on years ago that convinced me it just wasn’t possible. (Jeans in my price range didn’t really come with any form of stretch back then, as I recall. Textile technology is bad-ass.) But these days they mostly have “flex” jeans that have some give to them. (Women’s jeans are usually labeled “stretch” but apparently men’s have to be “flex” like they need stretchy garments so their HUGE MUSCLES don’t just TEAR THEIR CLOTHES!)

This was totally an impulse decision so I couldn’t measure myself, but I grabbed a few sizes based on what I vaguely thought my measurements probably were and decided it couldn’t possibly be worse than the endless cycle of regret, dissatisfaction, and recrimination that is trying on women’s clothing.

The first pair I tried on fit like a DREAM. I’ve been gaining weight lately which is a whole separate nightmare (mainly centered around “but I don’t WANT to buy new bras, this is bullshit!”) and the reason I need to buy new jeans because nothing freaking fits me, and I was sure these wouldn’t either, but DAMN. They’re the best pair of jeans I own. Twice as thick, pockets twice as big, legs nice and loose (they don’t even sell women’s jeans with a cut remotely similar to this), and contrary to my super dumb opinion from before this experience, they’ve got my plenty of room for all my womanly curvey bits. AND because they’re actually a relaxed fit instead of trying to cling to every inch of me, they don’t show my weight nearly as much as my women’s jeans do, they’re easier to move in, they’re not constantly inching down my hips with every move I make, and overall they just make me feel GOOD about how I look which is a strange new sensation I could definitely get used to.

It’s like a miracle. I want to cry both out of joy and because of all the shitty jeans now filling my closet when I could have been buying comfortable, relaxed, pocket-having men’s jeans all these years. Many blessings to the posters above, may your crops grow and your cows give milk and your jeans hold all the gadgets you desire.

Also: men’s pants have constant sizes that are based off of actual measurements instead of the women’s whatever-the-company-wants-to-make-the-size sizes. They’re far more reliable and your size will translate to other brands.

@get-dunkd-on help me remember this for our next Goodwill run lmao

I HAVE to try some men’s jeans. Sick of these super skinny show everything always having to be hitched up no pocket crap jeans!

Honestly signal boost. Because imagine this actually starts some kind of ludicrous pants revolution that ends up causing women’s pants fashion company’s sales to tank, absolutely forcing them to realize men’s pants have always had the right idea and start doing that instead of this bullshit. Like just imagine. And don’t just signal boost this. Tell every woman you know. Tell every trans friend and every curvy friend out there. You see a lady down the street, stop her and tell her you’ve discovered a new gospel and it’s purchasing men’s pants. With the way women spread information when we’re excited, the mentioned scenario could actually be hella achievable

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aelx

if every one of my followers did this, we could give more than 85 meals to less-fortunate animals. for free.

AH HHA ITS BACK YES PLEASE IT TAKES A SECOND OF YOUR TIME AND A LIFE OF AN ANIMAL

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peachhyx

Please do this! All you do is get redirected to a site where you tap on the button and your tap counts! Theres no donation or anything involved at all!

Go click this button!! It’s free!!!

Guys seriously you literally just click the button

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graduating later than other people means absolutely nothing at all. like you both completed the same requirements and have the same qualifications–why does it matter if you completed it in 5 years and they in 4?? in 6? in 3? you had experiences they didn’t have and they had experiences you didn’t have. relax. take your time if it’s allowable. if that’s what it takes for you to get through your degree and do your best, that’s what you should do. you’re going to succeed. you’re going to be okay. 

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If you opened your PayPal account before you were 18, and there’s ANY evidence of this, SHUT DOWN YOUR ACCOUNT AND USE YOUR REAL INFORMATION FOR A NEW ONE IF YOU NEED TO.

NO JOKE 

Sharing this here because I know this will affect a LOT of artists here. 

PLEASE share this, this is super urgent and I don’t want any of you losing your funds. 

Seriously, this is not a joke or scam. Check the comments of that Medium article, or the Reddit comments

Apparently PayPal will try to re-ban you if you use the same cards or whatnot, so if you need an alternative, try Google Wallet. (Because Google won’t let a damn industry go untouched.) 

If you see your work as more as a business, try Stripe

LAST REBLOG. 

BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING IMPORTANT. 

Okay so this case needs a little bit more of explanation because there’s no need to panic 

Are you calm now? Yes? Good.

Now listen:

The first thing that you need to realise is that you not being 18 is a serious legal issue not only for PayPal, but for ANY OTHER FIRM PROVIDING THIS KIND OF SERVICE. This includes the “alternatives” like Google Wallet and others. It is clearly stated in their TOS (which you are supposed to get familiar with before using their service). Therefore, if you made an account before being 18 then you, and let me repeat that, YOU are in the wrong here, not them. “But nobody reads these” my dude this is LAW, REAL CORPORATIONS and REAL MONEY we’re talking about here. It’s more than obvious that they won’t fuck around when it comes to the legal measures. Should any outside entity learn about your little lie it can result in something more serious that this, drag both PayPal and you down. You gotta realise that in real life rules exist for a reason.

Now to the money part: To tone down the stress I’m gonna say it right now that your money is safe.

This situation happened to me as I made an account when I was 17, so believe me when I tell you I know first hand what I am talking about. After a year of using it (so when I was already 18) PayPal asked me to see my ID to verify some info. After the verification it turned out I made the account when I was underage so they had to “shut it down” WHICH IS A VERY POOR WAY TO DESCRIBE IT.

The accounts are not being “shut down” and your money doesn’t “disappear” or whatever - PayPal blocks the option to send or withdraw money so your account is simply out of use. As we learned before, you broke their rules so they HAVE TO do something about it.

If you had read that oh so heart gripping story from one of OP’s links you would see this screenshot attached to it, which is PayPal informing them about their situation:

Oh? But wait!! Could it be???? That half of the email was cut off?????

In the second part of the email PayPal politely informs you that the problem can be easily solved by making a new account. Are you seeing that last sentence in the screenshot? “To continue using our service please open a new PayPal account”? Yeah, that.

Then, the email informs you that you will need to send PayPal a message from the new account that you would like your money transferred to the new account. Basically, you message them “hi this is my new account, my old one was XYZ, could you please transfer my money to this account?” and that’s it.

The money will be on your new account within 5 days MAX.

In conclusion: No money lost, PayPal solved their legal issue and you have a new, fresh, bombing legal account. No one goes to jail, everyone is happy. No fees, no nothing. As if you had never crossed any lines or broken the law.

TL;DR YOUR MONEY IS SAFE There’s a reason why PayPal is one of the most reliable services out there that so many other companies decide to trust. When you’re buying something online and you have the PayPal option accessible, why do you think it’s there? Because that’s just how it is? No. At one point the companies had to struck a deal, that’s why you can pay safely. And let me tell you, no company will skip reading the rules nor will they decide to trust a shady firm. Companies are real deals that operate under millions of regulations and are directly exposed to law (just like you tbh) and that’s why they’re strict about their rules. And you should be too.

Ps. If currently you are under 18 with PayPal account, don’t stress it ok? They won’t try to verify you until you start dealing tons of money or after a certain time period. But by then you will be 18, hopefully. So, chillex my dude it’s okay. 

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PSA: THERE IS NOT A PLAGUE OF DISAPPEARING CHILDREN IN DC

the police have recently started using social media to try to find missing persons:

and it’s working!

so don’t panic, there isn’t a predator on a kidnapping spree targeting black kids. rather, the missing person reports that had previously not been treated very seriously are now getting the attention they deserve, and lots of kids are coming home safe because of it.

the DC police aren’t covering anything up. just the opposite. the world’s not quite as terrible as we feared.

https://twitter.com/DCPoliceDept – go ahead and check it for yourself.

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reblogged

!! Important Blog Update !!

((Mun RJ here with two announcements. 

First off, I am officially out of Hetalia for now. I won’t be cosplaying Den for most of the foreseeable future, and I wanted to let you all know that. I haven’t been very active on this blog lately except to like posts and occasionally reblog some positivity. I haven’t gotten any asks that I needed to cosplay for in nearly a year, so I’m going to stop answering them for now. I may still reblog Hetalia art, but I have been far more in Haikyuu!! and other animes/shows lately. If I decide that I want to continue answering questions at some point, I’ll let you know. If I decide to delete the blog, I will also let you know. For now, I will just be on hiatus until further notice.

Secondly, I am going to Anime Boston this year! My lineup is not fully planned out yet, but I am bringing Bokuto Koutarou from Haikyuu!! and Frankie from Rock And Riot. When my lineup has been fully planned out, I’ll make another post about it. If you want to see me at AB, message me here or at my personal Tumblr: @fucking-lizard-people I am as active as I can be on there and that is where I will be reblogging almost all content from now on.

I’m very sorry for the disappointment, but cosplaying Denmark hasn’t been as fun for me lately. I don’t get the same reactions I once did, and although he’s an amazing character, I don’t actually see as much of myself in him anymore. While I’m gone, feel free to send in asks, requests, roleplay prompts, and whatever else you want. I don’t know if they’ll ever get answered, but they will be seen. I apologize greatly for any of you who came and stayed for the Hetalia content, but I haven’t been able to get myself back into his cosplay at all for the past few months, so I might actually be selling it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be getting back into Hetalia again and I’m sorry. This blog was one of the best experiences in my life. I made friends and honestly developed myself into a better person. You all were here for me when I wasn’t doing well and I’m so so so thankful for that. I love you all, but this is goodbye for now.

-Mun RJ))

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!! Important Blog Update !!

((Mun RJ here with two announcements. 

First off, I am officially out of Hetalia for now. I won’t be cosplaying Den for most of the foreseeable future, and I wanted to let you all know that. I haven’t been very active on this blog lately except to like posts and occasionally reblog some positivity. I haven’t gotten any asks that I needed to cosplay for in nearly a year, so I’m going to stop answering them for now. I may still reblog Hetalia art, but I have been far more in Haikyuu!! and other animes/shows lately. If I decide that I want to continue answering questions at some point, I’ll let you know. If I decide to delete the blog, I will also let you know. For now, I will just be on hiatus until further notice.

Secondly, I am going to Anime Boston this year! My lineup is not fully planned out yet, but I am bringing Bokuto Koutarou from Haikyuu!! and Frankie from Rock And Riot. When my lineup has been fully planned out, I’ll make another post about it. If you want to see me at AB, message me here or at my personal Tumblr: @fucking-lizard-people I am as active as I can be on there and that is where I will be reblogging almost all content from now on.

I’m very sorry for the disappointment, but cosplaying Denmark hasn’t been as fun for me lately. I don’t get the same reactions I once did, and although he’s an amazing character, I don’t actually see as much of myself in him anymore. While I’m gone, feel free to send in asks, requests, roleplay prompts, and whatever else you want. I don’t know if they’ll ever get answered, but they will be seen. I apologize greatly for any of you who came and stayed for the Hetalia content, but I haven’t been able to get myself back into his cosplay at all for the past few months, so I might actually be selling it. I don’t know if I’ll ever be getting back into Hetalia again and I’m sorry. This blog was one of the best experiences in my life. I made friends and honestly developed myself into a better person. You all were here for me when I wasn’t doing well and I’m so so so thankful for that. I love you all, but this is goodbye for now.

-Mun RJ))

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