hey ;) guys ;) i’m ;) 6’7’’ ;)

this is by far the easiest way to get one hundred asks in less than one minute.

First “real” try in Procreate//

& it’s technically not a holiday but everyone’s on vacation and you can’t get anything done

happy liminal spacemas

this for retail workers only

y’all think if a customer come thru and berate the shit outta you and you just smile and say “thank you for being so patient, have a nice day” and they still call corporate on you corporate gonna be like “uh ok” and you won’t get in trouble? 

lol the answer is no you still get in trouble

yeah I seen one of my niggas get written up for telling a customer to go home because they were begging to come into the store 15 minutes after we’d closed and locked the doors.

I decided from that point that if imma get written up I might as well give em a good reason for it. I’ll tell a customer to go fuck themselves idc

I got fired for telling a customer I’m specifically not allowed to open my drawer to make change from one of his bills. He then proceeded to just grab one of the bills off my keyboard while the drawer was open and angrily tell me to just give him the change, the exact amount. I said calmly “I know how to make change sir” which apparently ticked him off so much he called later curious and chewed out my manager and said he was going to call corporate. My manager asked me what happened, I explained, he CHECKED the fucking camera and verified it and said in situations where a customer snatches a bill and replaces it with another one I should just call a manager because they have no way of knowing if there’s something up with it. Then a week or so later they fired me.

Mind you the first two things I was told upon being hired were 1) you have to check IDs and if you fuck up we will fire you and you have to pay a several thousand dollar fine to the state and 2) you’re not allowed to make change if a customer asks, only as part of a transaction.

retail is probably the only occupation on the planet where a company will fire you for doing your job exactly the way they asked you to.

i really want to make a company where the customer is not always right take your dumb asses home 

dbrand (a phone case/Graphic Design company) is probably the closest I’ve seen to that, they will literally tell their customers to go fuck themselves if they try throwing tantrums about product. But they’re an all-around cool company so they get away with it because most people know that’s how they are.

example:

*giggles cutely* im going to snap

bro…

Not all heroes wear capes…

Fun story, my dad’s friend from college once wanted to bring his best friend from Palestine but he couldn’t get the papers so they went to court to say they were married or some shit and brought my dad to as a witness and the judge was like “prove it? I don’t believe this is an actual marriage and you two are in love” and like they shrugged and started to make out so hard that security had to come to split them up because they went to far, so yeah, real homies make out in a court room to get your homie into Canada to avoid being deported back to his refugee camp.

i feel like we need to acknowledge the TRUE monsterfucker this christmas season:

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

Happy Holidays!!!! 😬

types of xmas songs

You better wATCH OUT

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT

When you pickup a gift and it’s soft

i literally completely forgot about this until like now but around 2 years ago? i think i twisted my ankle getting out of this high up car and i complained abt it on tumblr n i got multiple anons asking abt it but it was.. the same person and they came off anon and literally? gave me basically medical advice? and would ask how i’m doing almost every day for a week.. then i slowly realized the person had a foot fetish after scrolling thru their blog for 2 minutes so basically i got scammed into sending free feet pics

every time i make a post someone unfollows me. if y’all don’t want my posts then what do you want

damn ok

This is so much fucking funnier with the gif removed

They actually made the Spidey Christmas album from into the spider-verse. This is so next level, I’m sobbing.

It’s extremely good