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Hell's Acolyte

@poitou-corrillaut / poitou-corrillaut.tumblr.com

Etienne Corrillaut, page of Gilles de Rais, at your service ((Disclaimer: occasionally NSFW and triggering content. Mun is of age.)) Tracks: poitoucorrillaut
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I will never understand why this Christmas song goes so hard.

OKAY MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP

BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS NOT CAROL OF THE BELLS

IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE/SARAJEVO 12/24 AND IT IS SO MUCH FUCKING MORE THAN CAROL OF THE BELLS.

SO DURING THE BOSNIAN WAR (WHICH WAS THIS NASTY-ASS CONFLICT IN BOSNIA AND HERZGOVINA) THERE WAS THIS BADASS CELLO-PLAYING MOTHERFUCKER NAMED VEDRAN SMAILOVIC.  HE WAS FROM SARAJEVO WAS UPSET ABOUT ALL THE SHIT AND NASTINESS THAT CAME ABOUT THROUGH THIS WAR (THIS WAS FULL-ON BROTHER-KILLING-BROTHER SHIT) THAT HE WENT AROUND TO BOMBED-OUT, BLOWN UP BUILDINGS AND FUNERALS—WHERE HE WAS AT RISK OF FUCKING SNIPER FIRE—AND PLAYING THE CELLO.  THIS GUY WAS SO SET ON PROVIDING ONE TINY SPOT OF BEAUTY IN A SERIOUSLY NASTY WAR HE WAS RISKING BEING FUCKING SHOT OR BLOWN UP.

AND THIS IS THE GUY WHO INSPIRED THIS SONG.

HE’S WHY THERE’S THE CALM CELLO PART AT THE BEGINNING BEFORE EVERYTHING GETS ALL VIOLENT-SOUNDING.  IT’S THEMATIC.

THAT’S WHY THIS CHRISTMAS SONG GOES SO FUCKING HARD.

music history ftw

chills

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Salad fingers sentences

“I like rusty spoons.”

“I must find the perfect spoon.”

“Hello there young child.”

“I’d like to caress this rusty kettle.”

“Today I’m having a little get together with my friends.”

“You are looking rather splendid this evening.”

“I wonder what you taste like.”

“I’ve got a fish in the oven if anyone’s interested.”

“Help…. Help me. Help….”

“I think the Heavens must have sent you.”

“I like it when the red water comes out.”

“I’ve been enjoying the pleasures of nettles.”

“What’s this rather queer looking contraption?”

“The nettles make me think happy times.”

“Ah, bubble trumps.”

“You’ve picked a rather late hour to be visiting me.”

“I think you’re called Milford Cubicle.”

“I’ll give you a little hand if you’re feeling rather fatigued.”

“Would you like a warm glass of milk?”

“I’m going to try and find France because I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“That little boy has been watching me for a while now.”

“What have you been gathering today little sister?”

“You’re body is so much fun.”

“I just want to give you a big stroke.”

“You’ve gotten flat little sister, and you’re all gooey.”

“Have I been gifted a grubby tap?”

“Oh how I’ve dreamt of taps.”

“I just want to marry all of you gorgeous taps.”

“I don’t like this game. I think I’m going to go home now.”

“Stop scratching your basket belly.”

“How rude! I’ve been disconnected.”

“I’ve made you a friend hat.”

“You look so beautiful. It’s your big day!”

“It seems our first guest has arrived. Would you like some confectionary?”

“I must say you’re a well mannered young lady.”

“I’d like to elect you as my new playmate.”

“Th-that’s a pretty looking front on your body, but it looks awfully dirty.”

“My tummy box feels broken.”

“Would you like some peas pudding?”

“I think he likes spoons too!”

“Do you not like my mouth words?”

“You’re just a stinky river.”

“Is this a present for me?”

“you hold a welcoming texture. A pleasure for the tips.”

“How long has it been since I’ve seen your chops?”

“No, this isn’t true, you’ve got the wrong bloke squire.”

“I never did get to sample the delights of your flavor.”

“The floor sugar does taste rather queer in this area.”

“It was frightfully rude of you blokes to leave for the great war without me.”

“Come inside and we’ll fix you a nice hot bath.”

“Lock up your daughters tonight general. They’ll be trouble in the maiden’s quarters.”

“Maybe you could come and tuck me in tonight, sailor.”

“I hope you like sand.”

“you’ve barely shuffled an inch all week.”

“Well, back you go then. Back to the ghastly trenches.”

“I only ask that out creator return you unspoiled.”

“No, you’re doing it all wrong! You’re not playing in the right key.”

“I like to listen to my radio.”

“What a hideous sound.”

“A man can’t cope with all these unpleasant frequencies about.”

“I think I’ll sit this one out in the safety cupboard.”

“Your legs are made of cotton and they’re far too long.”

“You all look so beautiple together.”

“I’ll have no dirty immigrants in my house.”

“It was quite bad mannered of you to keep one of my hairs.”

“OW daddy, that really hurt!! Daddy I’m bothered!!”

“Daddy, what happened to my end bits daddy!”

“We’ll have to get some bubble trumps and vinegar on there before it falls off.”

“I feel my day of reckoning may be approaching.”

“Bottles, smiles, nappies and wee. To my heart you’ve found the key.”

“Heavens to Betsy what now?”

“A lethargic child is a servant to the beast.”

“I’m going to be jolly cross with you in a minute.”

“I’m just here to ….. uhm… uh….. to. Ah- clean your windows!”

“You’re a bit pooey”

“Thems trousers a bit posh sunshine.”

“Who the devil are you?”

“You appear to be free of all information.”

“Well someone’s a soggy slumber-chops.”

“Don’t you crumple your face up at me.”

“I- I know it hurts. Just try and sit still whilst the doctor eats your blood.”

“I must have slept for six Mondays.”

“You should feel a great shame for this outcome sir. A great shame.”

“I shall wear it from here to the grave.”

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