Lemony Snicket's Advice on Writing a Nice Thank-You Note

when i was a kid i thought all liquids had to have some quantity of water in it to be a liquid (as in water was necessary for something to flow) and i think that philosophy couldve easily put me in the top 15 greatest ancient greek philosophers

You are the adventurer who went on an epic quest and defeated the evil king, all to gain the sacred amulet and use its one wish to revive your sister. Now everyone expects you to accept her death and use the wish to undo the damage instead. You refuse.

Blood has stopped streaming from the wound bisecting your brow, but it still stings your eyes something fierce. You take your gauntlets off, grimacing as the grime and soot from battle tries to keep the metal welded to your skin. There’d been an explosion during the final fight with the king – no, the tyrant. Explosions, maybe. Your magic’s been erratic lately, the sudden growth of your mana pool far outpacing your control. You wipe your eyes with the back of your cleaner hand.

There’s pressure in your chest you’ve never felt before. You want to laugh. No, you want to scream. Your body is too tired to jump around like you did when you were a little girl, but you find yourself bouncing in place regardless. The thrill of battle and of escaping the castle as it collapsed is thrumming through your veins. You did it. You did it.

You are so happy, so devastatingly happy, that you can feel yourself shutting down. You need—you need rest. Food. Sleep.

Then you can save her. Then you can bring her back.

“Roksala,” Prince Eloyn says. You squint past the last rays of day to see him frowning at you. The ruins of the tyrant’s castle don’t appear to interest him. His eyes narrow. “Are you ignoring me?”

When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

"one of my moms"

*points finger*

child of lesbiabs

I actually have six parents and three moms total but they're all straight as far as I'm aware

Polyamorous parents or divorce?

Turbo divorce

What the heck is a turbo divorce?

It's when you end up with six parents

hello my name is Very tiny flying insect i see you’ve got an uncovered beverage outdoors. Can i fall into it and kill myself please please please please please please please please please please

i keep quoting this theirs actual tears in my eyes

what’s he doing there?

i cant stand adventuring with necromancers 🤦‍♂️. you know what really gets to me? they never TELL you they're a necromancer. they always use some normal spells at first. like ice spike and shit. and then you turn around to look at your party and you notice there's one extra person there. yeeep. they resurrected the researcher that died before us and left a journal warning us of the incoming dangers at the dungeon. and you know you can't tell them shit. you hurt a wizards' feelings and they fireball you into a pile of dust while you're sleeping and cook a potion with your ashes. 🤦‍♂️

and before anyone says anything i dont have anything against conjurers. just wish more of them had the common fucking sense to summon elemental spirits or whatever.

Missing Persons Report (2024)

i may not be gods strongest warrior but there is all sorts of bullshit that he makes me deal with and i hndle it not very well usually

Blocked

Parried

Through the grass - Ala Khonikava

Belarusian , b. 1965 -

Acrylic on canvas

Tom Perkinson (American,b.1940)

Night Storm Over the Mesa, 2022

Watercolor and mixed media