had the incredibly unnerving experience of switching off the radio and getting out of the car only to hear the song keep playing before I realised that I wasn't in a movie this was just a petrol station also playing the same station and that is how radio works

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

Here's a picture of her, by the way

And her super supportive wife

I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?

Tell your children about your medical history.

“I’d kill for you. Please ask me to kill for you.” “No.” Is a top tier ship dynamic no I do not take criticism

The idea of a person being capable of incredibly immoral acts but held in check but their love of their partner sends me every time

yes

pairs well with this one

dude.

Men will spend 25% of their day thinking about how they could American sniper their way out of the zombie apocalypse no problem and then they’ll walk into the bathroom and miss the toilet from half a foot away

Men will be like “I would NEVER murder someone but if I did I know exactly how I’d get away with it” and then one day you’ll be in a situation with them where they need to mop a floor and they won’t even know how

I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name

Source

Huge win for workers

jennette mccurdy should be allowed to hunt nickelodeon past and present execs for sport

You're in her DMs

I have her blocked

You will understand in time

sorry guys. can’t come in today. the creature

We are letting angry men kill indiscriminately

Had a woman bring in her ferret for an exam and when I went into the room a second ferret poked its head out of her bag. In delighted surprise I exclaimed “oh you have two!” and she immediately responded “yes, I’m a small business owner”

Have to admit it took me a second

love when cats hear that you've woken up even just a little bit and they're like hiiiiiii oh my god oh my god!!!!! i wrote some poems in the night let me recite them for you. this one is called: screaming and knocking your water bottle off your nightstand

Humans use far more than 10% of their brains. However, brains have only ever been able to use 10% of their humans. Except in a few rare cases.