The Captain's Lady

also-

Finally watched the Addams Family Values recently! and honestly. my main takeaway is

Debbie slays. And Joan Cusack is a QUEEN

Joan Cusack has never appeared in a film that she did not steal.

And as for Debbie, I will always repost my stance on her end.

they would have been such good friends

I have a lot to say about Jeannie Epper. Most of all, I loved her. I always felt that we understood and appreciated one another.

After all, it was the 70s. We were united in the way that women had to be in order to thrive in a man’s world, through mutual respect, intellect and collaboration.

Jeannie was a vanguard who paved the way for all other stuntwomen who came after. Just as Diana was Wonder Woman, Jeannie Epper was also a Wonder Woman.

She is so beautiful to me. Jeannie, I will miss you.

you know how people say soup is round and so it's messed up to put it in a square tupperware? that's how I feel every time I see a square watch

curious what your thoughts on this are then

It says guess bcs you're more likely to actually figure out what time it is that way.

How do you feel about Qlocktwo?

You know given my dyscaculia this is actually easier for me to read than a regular analog clock AND it's giving old school cheesy secret agent vibes so I think it's so ridiculous that it loops back around to being cool again. Still, wish it was round.

Okay this one I think you will probably like then

Reveal by Projects

Super easy to read

I have an addition:

"How do these clocks make you feel?"

Someone brought me this beauty for a battery change a few months ago

It wraps around your wrist and it's probably the coolest watch I've ever seen at work

That's actually the coolest watch I've ever seen in my entire life, thank you for sharing!

time is not a circle she is so obviously a spiral

You've heard of Earth is space australia now get ready for: Earth is the space Amazon Rainforest. Aliens land on Earth and they are losing their goddamn minds because every square inch of the ground is absolutely PACKED with life like there are hundreds of species just in this one site, there are winged animals flying through the sky and multiple colonies of sophisticated social insects just in the shadow of their ship, this ONE ROCK is covered in MULTIPLE SPECIES OF ORGANISMS that are themselves MULTIPLE ORGANISMS LIVING SYMBIOTICALLY, the tall, woody autotrophs look so different from each other because they're...holy shit that's like 5, 6, 7???? different species on this one site???

they start talking to a human and the human is like "haha yeah that's a crow!" and the alien researcher is like "you called it a 'bird' earlier, is that a different name?" and the human is like "oh a crow is just one species of bird, there's like, 10 others out there"

"On this planet?"

"No, in the back yard right now."

imagine aliens that come from a tidally locked planet where only a thin band of the planet is habitable, or a planet life was only able to develop in small areas at the poles, or in the few pools of liquid water on the planet's surface, or just in isolated areas where geologic activity causes geysers and springs, visiting Earth. They seem completely unprepared for the shock of realizing that Earth's continents appear green because the continents are absolutely covered with green organisms.

The alien biologists are so uncomfortable because there are certain protocols for maintaining certain distances from life signatures to avoid harming unfamiliar organisms, and groves of plant like autotrophs and pools where aquatic life dwells are carefully protected and respected, with very important rules for approach

On Earth, the inhabitants are just. Playing and walking LITERALLY STEPPING ON CARPETS OF ORGANISMS the whole time. the aliens are like "it doesn't hurt them??? Can't you just...move them to a place where you don't have to step on them?" and the humans are like "no of course not, grasses evolved to tolerate being stepped on, and besides, more plants would grow there if we tried to move the existing ones"

It then must be explained that humans would need to regularly spray poisons on the ground to prevent any given area of bare soil from filling up with plant life, and that "regularly" means "multiple times within a single solar cycle." And that the poisons stop working within a few decades because the plants evolve to resist them that fast.

Human: yeah solar is the dominant energy source these days but some of the recent solar farm projects are pretty controversial because they're in reclaimed strip mining sites that others argue should be restored as best as we can to their previous ecological state

Alien: I don't understand...why would you not place the solar farms in an area of the planet with no existing ecosystem?

Human: ...what?

Alien: You have rather sophisticated protective gear and have done some space exploration, surely you could establish them in an area of the planet to which life is not yet adapted?

Human: ...there isn't one.

Alien: ...what do you mean there isn't one

Human: I mean, every lineage still alive today has survived at least 5 major Extinction Events.

Alien: You have repeatedly used the phrase “Extinction Event” and I understand both of those words individually but the way you use it seems to imply that some species are surviving Extinction.

Human: I see your confusion; “Extinction Events” are when a bunch of species go extinct at once, not an individual lineage. Everything alive today has survived between 5 and 20 of those, depending on how severe the biodiversity loss has to be to count.

Alien: 😥

Human: Yea like sometimes it’s catastrophic volcanism. One time a giant rock fell from space. This one’s fun; one time the arctic sea had a particular configuration and a single species of plant wound up sequestering so much carbon that it permanently cooled the planet.

Alien: 😱

Human: so, you know, every living lineage has been at least a little bit extremophile at least once in our natural history.

Alien: this explains the succulents

Human: exactly

#organisms? In the ground? Like in caves and tunnels with high humidity, yes? ...What is this mycelium you talk of, how big is this net? Like a couple meters? What do you mean the entire continent

#and then they discover that humans are basically our own biome. We’ve got so much non-human stuff in our guts that we’re more bacteria than human being.

Alien: what do you mean you have entire classes of organism that rely on the cellular machinery of other species to function!?

And then the aliens learn about the fact that our classification systems have Problems as well.

"So… because of your downright obscene biodiversity-" 'Still a really weird thing to say, but sure,' "-your species decided to make a system that puts living organisms into a finite number of nested categories, with evolutionary lines of descent having a lot of weight for grouping organisms."

'Pretty much. I mean, can't say anything sensible about an organism's... everything without getting into the weeds of how they evolved in the first place.'

"And yet... somehow you're saying that this flying animal covered in feathers is in the same overarching group as... the small, hairless animal it just ate?"

'Yep. Didn't figure out the whole evolution thing until a couple hundred years ago, so before that we thought that "all those animals that live in water, can't breathe air and have fins" would make for a nice, clear-cut category.'

"...sensible enough?"

'Until we started doing proper science rather than just guessing and assuming. Turns out? Either we're all fish, or "fish" is too nebulous a category to really use.'

"S-so... 'Fish' are a category of ancestor species?"

'Also no. "Fish" are around today and haven't stopped evolving just because a few went on land. We're figuring it out, but yeah. It's more complicated than it looks.'

"...yes, that much is evident."

___________

“How convenient that you’ve learned how to read the molecular code of life on Earth. We assume you’ve been working hard to sequence Earth organisms?”

“Oh yes, we’ve sequenced the genomes of almost 4,000 species!”

“Incredible! How many more are left?”

“Huh?”

“You must be getting close to completing that project.”

“…. There are probably 9 million species on earth and we don’t even know what most of them are yet.”

“Sorry, what?”

___________

Just wait till they hear about the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone though.

“Okay, so there was a nuclear power plant here.”

“A what?”

“A method we developed to capture energy from the splitting of atomic nuclei. And to answer your question, it’s usually safe, but when it goes wrong, it tends to go horribly, horribly wrong. Like here. There was … what we call a meltdown. The radiation is such that the area won’t be safe for human habitation for another few centuries.”

“Oh, I see. So nothing lives there anymore.”

“Well, no humans live there anymore.”

“What.”

“The people who used to live there all fled or died, of course. But everything else? It’s thriving, as far as we can tell. We’ve sent in scientific expeditions — it’s safe as long as we don’t stay too long and monitor the radiation levels. There are plants overgrowing all the buildings. Animals all over the place. If I remember correctly, we even found an entirely new species of fungus that had adapted to use the radiation as food.”

“…Your planet is crazy.”

The burning question about "homesteading tradwive influencer vs. actual medieval farmwife" wouldn't be about who would win, but what would be the final straw that would make Kathrynn - who got married at 21, doesn't know what a chemical is, and who would have sent her children to school if she had had the chance - finally decide to beat the ever-loving shit out of Kathrynn, who got married at 21, doesn't understand what a chemical is and can't spell for shit, but still thinks she can homeschool her kids.

It wouldn't be over feminist issues. Medieval Kathrynn has no concept of "women's right to vote" - it's not like her husband has the right to vote in government matters either. It would probably be about religion. Medieval Kathrynn has no idea what "catholism" is, but she heard Modern Kathrynn talk shit about the saints and decides to toss aside the goat she was castrating and go "that's it, I'm beating your ass."

I'm pretty sure it would be vaccination, actually. Medieval Kathrynn would find out that there's an easy, safe way to keep the babies from dying of measles/mumps/smallpox and that Modern Kathrynn is CHOOSING TO NOT DO IT and would use the grave marker of her third child who passed from the pox as a bludgeon.

^^^^

You have to admire her audacity, if nothing else.

Literally my favourite thing about Rogue One is that it makes the opening of New Hope so funny. Like, Vader has followed Leia from a planet he just blew up seconds ago and pursued her across the galaxy and then she’s just like: ‘I’m on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan’

Vader: You’re a rebel. I just had a fight with your entire rebel fleet and followed you here. Straight from the rebels. Of which you are a part

Leia: *dramatic gasp* rebel? Me???  I was just passing through. Diplomatically. Thought it was a five-space-ship pile-up or something going on there… 

death star plans? on my alderaanian diplomatic mission? it’s more likely than you think

ok but this is like legitimate Canon Improvement because I’d always wondered why Vader was so wildly furious at the start of the movie like “rahhhhh bring me the passengers I WANT THEM ALIVE!!!!” and now I’m like

ohh yeah okay they literally JUST blew up Vader’s base, stole his sh!t, and took off while giving him the finger from the window

IT GOT BETTER

It is the best thing ever because it establishes that he knows she’s a Rebel and she knows he knows she’s a Rebel and he knows she knows he knows she’s a Rebel and—here’s the kicker—every moment she stalls him is another moment Artoo has to get the plans off the ship and head for Kenobi, and so she’s standing there all “Rebellion? What Rebellion? Me? *kicks dead Stormtrooper underneath carpet* I don’t know about any plans, have you checked behind the sofa?” and making Darth Vader’s blood pressure rise, and, oh, the best part of it is that she’s his daughter so guess where she got that sass from, like every fucking dead blue Force Ghost Jedi who got killed at the birth of the Empire is whooping and cheering from the Blue Force Ghost Afterlife seeing Anakin Skywalker get inflicted with everything they had to deal with from him.

You just know that enough people’s dying thoughts were, “I hope you have one just like you,” for the force to go, “this bitch deserves twins.”

It got better.

Hail the victorious dead.

RIP Bernard Hill

Today, we mourn Bernard Hill (King Theoden). May he rest among the halls of his father 😔

Bernard Hill

1944 - 2024

💔

Rest in Peace, Bernard Hill (1944–2024) THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (2003)

@taleasoldastime-andspace

PSA to stores:

If a wheelchair user is terrified to move around in your store due to clutter, you’re doing it wrong.

EDIT: Anyone is allowed to reblog, and disabled people are allowed to add on, so long as it doesn’t derail the point of the post! If you’re unsure, feel free to ask me!

Thanks for all the love on the post so far!

I only learned recently that people from Not America don’t specify hard cider and instead it’s just cider.

I know this is a small difference but it is surprisingly one I do sometimes have to lie down on the floor about.

I don’t like apple juice but I do like cider and every time I’ve said that around a person from English speaking Not America there’s a chance they might’ve thought I was talking about an alcoholic beverage but I was not.

The tiny tiny things that lead to tiny tiny false assumptions. They are everywhere. I can’t escape them. I need to lie down.

Basically unfiltered and very cloudy apple juice. Can be served hot or cold. When Americans talk about alcoholic apple beverage we say Hard Cider because to us cider is a sweet unfiltered fall beverage fun for the whole family.

@bitchboy-bozo

Our international reputation must be even worse than I thought if people have just assumed that we’re giving children alcohol

ID: The first image is a post reply from queerasaurus-rexx: wait… what do americans think cider is? The second image is a screenshot of tags that read: #OH- #I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE JUST GIVING YOUR KIDS ALCOHOL #I mean to be fair it’s not that strange of an assumption- (End ID)

I mean, European children do very much drink hard cider. But more importantly, you can’t actually buy soft cider-equivalent beverages in the UK or in the European countries I’m most familiar with.

The comments imply that “cloudy apple juice” is the equivalent, but this is not cider. In the notes people are posting comparison pictures where both drinks look like this and the only difference is the presence or absence of bubbles. It’s literally just pictures of cloudy apple juice! Cloudy apple juice is abundant and not cider.

The cider I miss is dark brown and syrupy. It leaves sediment at the bottom of the jug. It doesn’t need to be mulled because it already tastes mulled. It isn’t juice and lots of kids don’t even like it because it’s a little strange. Sometimes it’s served hot with caramel and a cinnamon stick. And I can’t have any, because it isn’t fuckign cloudy apple juice, so, you know, thanks for that.

This is apple cider to a New Englander. It's hard to describe the taste of you haven't had it, but it's not just "unfiltered apple juice". Someone in the comments mentioned sparkling cider, and although they're right about it being a celebratory drink (my family gives it to kids in wine glasses at holiday meals so they don't feel left out of the fancy glass party) it is not the same thing as this.

This is the kind that you heat up and put mulling spices in, if you are so inclined.

Exactly, it’s oxidised (brown, like apple flesh turns when you expose it to air.) it’s slightly fermented-ish (the wild yeasts on the apple’s skin weren’t INSTANTLY MURDERED, so there’s almost a spicy/vinegar/prickly tang.) it contains sediment, like mother-of-apple-cider-vinegar, and is thick and syrupy. It isn’t cloudy so much as opaque.

Saying to the world that cider is “just cloudy apple juice” is like if I told Americans, “oh yeah, British people like brown sauce, but it’s really just Worcestershire sauce. Isn’t it cute and stupid and remedial of them to call it ‘brown’ sauce because it’s brown?” And the 10k notes are people going “lmao British people, can’t cook and all their names are baby talk” with a few lone Brits crying out that ACTUALLY THAT ISNT TRUE AT ALL, THEYRE VERY DIFFERENT, WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE IS A SALTY THIN FLAVORING FOR COTTAGE PIE AND BROWN SAUCE IS A THICK VINEGAR KETCHUP FOR FRY-UPS!!! STOP SAYING THIS, IT ISNT TRUE -

Anyway that would just be mildly annoying EXCEPT that I have had a moment of precognition in which some kindly friend, thinking they are bringing me a great gift and a treasured favor, will now visit me in the UK having brought (and ferried at great expense) a bottle of fucking apple juice I regularly buy at Tesco, pictured above, with the delighted expectation of me welcoming the treat of real American cider. I can picture it and it’s breaking my heart.

Australian who lived in Canada for a few years, here to help!

Okay, first of all, it's not America we're talking about but North America. So, Canada too.

Secondly, not 'cloudy apple juice' but literally 'pressed/crushed apples'. Barely filtered if at all. You can literally go to farms in season and get massive vats of their apples which have just been. crushed. and, as @elodieunderglass says, not sterilised in any way, SO.

Thirdly: I made cider out of the cider. A friend and I got a bunch of fermentation equipment and did several experiments with farm-cider, cloudy apple juice from a shop, and filtered apple juice, with five different types of wine or cider yeast.

The absolutely best results (in terms of flavour AND alcohol content) were. The farm cider with no extra yeast, just the natural yeasts present on the apple skin. In the other brews made from the same crushed apples, the wild yeast won out in the end over the commercial yeast, but because they had that fight to win they didn't have so much time to develop and ferment, so the flavour wasn't so developed as in the [hard] cider with no commercial yeast.

Make of that what you will.

Note: the thing where soft cider makes good hard cider? That’s why soft cider is a thing.

You also can’t get soft cider everywhere in the US. In a lot of areas it’s only available direct from orchards that do enough apple processing that they have cider equipment. And soft cider is not shelf stable, and it cannot be made stable. It will start fermenting into hard cider within a few days, so it’s super perishable if you want it as itself. And it tastes different from different farms.

I miss it, but I’ve had over 15 years to get used to not having it.

Pennsylvania has a LOT of apple orchards, and also, a lot of apple cider! You can make it shelf stable by pasteurizing it, but that kills a lot of the flavor. And most people who have had it fresh much prefer it unpasteurized. But in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sell an unpasteurized beverage.

So what they do is, all the orchards will have roadside stands with cider made fresh that day ... which they do not sell.

Instead, they sell jugs! ... which happen to contain cider. And while this is a transparent ploy, no cop or government official would ever dream of trying to nail them for it, because then they wouldn't be able to buy cider.

Vermonter here! And yeah, as a kid it was less "where are we buying cider" and more "whose farm are we pressing cider at this year?"

Now I ABSOLUTELY must make some cider mead.

Even Weird Al has had that™ experience with Tony Hawk

Tony Hawk IS Forrest Gump

So I looked up why and how this happened, and it turns out Weird Al hired a company called Birdhouse Skateboards to provide some “skate/punk” extras for the video. Birdhouse Skateboards is a company started by Tony Hawk, so not only did Weird Al end up putting Tony Hawk in his video without realizing it, he actually hired Tony Hawk’s company without realizing it! And then Tony Hawk just decided to go along as one of the extras himself.

BTW, he’d already won like 40 contests already, some of them international skateboarding contests. So it’s not like Weird Al cast some unknown skateboarder who ended up becoming World Famous Skateboarder, he was already well known and was running his own Skateboarding company.

Think of it this way. This wasn’t ‘Weird Al got Tony Hawk to be in his video’, this was ‘Tony Hawk found a way to be in a Weird Al Video.’

The chance that Tony Hawk has infiltrated your location or piece of media is low

BUT NEVER ZERO.

The spirit of Diogenes is alive and well

This is funny, obviously, but even if you don't go to the extreme of the example above, this is a separate seat for one person, with a back and 4 legs:

But it's not a chair. It's a bar stool.

This, however, are all chairs:

Each one is missing at least one component of the chair definition above.

So like... it's almost like strict definitions are exclusionary.

Reblog to hit a transphobe with a separate seat for one person

Reblog to hit a

transphobe with a separate

seat for one person

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.