I seem to have lost my contacts.

You’d be correct sir.

Then I'll get to work right now. Sound good?

I seem to have lost my contacts.

Alright, alright. Whenever these cookies are done I’ll stop by your place and show off my dorkiness.

So does that mean that if I get started now, I'll have company tonight?

I seem to have lost my contacts.

All this hard work just so see some dorky man in his glasses?

Exactly that, yes. It's not like I've got better things to do. I'm a painter, you know. So I throw some colors on a canvas for a few hours every few days. The rest of the time I just.... do whatever. 

And right now, "whatever" is baking cookies so that I can see some dorky man in his glasses.

I seem to have lost my contacts.

I only accept bribes in the form of cookies.

Cookies, I can do. Homemade, even. So you better let me see. 

I seem to have lost my contacts.

No, no they are pretty comfortable. It’s just I feel like that make me look like an even bigger dork.

Oh come on, I'm sure that's not true. Now I wanna see. Do you accept bribes?

I seem to have lost my contacts.

I try not to. I don’t like them much but I guess it keeps people from confusing Abel and I.

Why not? Uncomfortable? Or not your style. That's probably too many questions, but now I'm curious so you gotta deal. 

I seem to have lost my contacts.

Guess I’ll have to stick to wearing my glasses until I can get some more.

You wear glasses?

I guess that's a dumb question, huh?

Under the cut is a full review for elicandoodle. The following is my own opinion. There is some constructive criticism, as always with reviews, and also a few ideas of my own, which are merely suggestions that do not need to be followed.

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I’m sorry I’ve been pretty much MIA. Work took a lot of my hours out of me. 

How are you?

No, no, you're smiling and happy. That means there's nothing to be sorry for.

I'm alright. 

Who knew I’d actually really really like my job? It’s a thrill to work with other people who love music as much as I do.

You kinda did, if I remember right. I'm glad you like your job, Bee. I was wonderin' where you'd run off to.

Dear hangover, go away.

Find a way to hack into the security cameras, I’m sure they must have caught something. Every time a children stars crying close to me, I just look for the mom or dad and hand it to one of them. Not my kid, not my problem. Really? That’s nice. You must be, if you’re making some money with it. I know I’m good at what I do because Joe hasn’t fired me yet. Apparently being good makes up for always being in a terrible mood with the models here. What do you paint? Everything or specific things? Told you. I can’t have an annoying little girl helping me. I need someone to iron clothes that won’t give me a speech about how he or she wasn’t born to do it when needed. 

You have yet to realize how lazy I am. I'll just come up with my own idea of what it looked like and laugh at my imagination. That's a good plan. Not your problwm. Yeah, yeah, it is kinda nice. It's laid back, and it's not as dangerous as anything else I've had to do to make money. It comes with a loft too. Not like, the super nice kind, but it's got enough room and it's got a stove. All the stuff I need. My manager pays for it, then gives me the rest of what I earn to do whatever with. Some models are rude, I don't blame you. I paint different stuff. It depends. I did one of Blaine, about a week ago. My stuff's usually really colorful. I think the speech would take longer than the work, and if I got that kinda speech I'd fire the girl. I mean, she's all high and mighty anyway, right? Go be "not born for this kind of work" elsewhere.

Dear hangover, go away.

It was annoying, but not difficult. Joe was dealing with the moms, so I just had to keep the kids from breaking half of our stuff. I might have terrified them a bit so they would shut up though, but that’s kinda what I was hired for so I’m sure Joe wasn’t that upset about it. I hate kids and I hate them even more when they start crying. And paintings you said? Oh, honestly… I would laugh too. But if I say that a fashion editor needs an assistant, I’ll get way too many girls that can’t carry bags around and think they can speak up like they own the place. 

Now I wish you'd recorded it so that I could watch and laugh next time I get drunk. The crying I fear, actually, because I don't know what to do to make it stop. That could lead to crying that lasts forever, and I'm just not prepared for that. Painting, yes. I'm one of those guys. I paint for a living. Apparently I'm good at it? I dunno. I got "scouted" or something while I was in McDonalds, playing on napkins with ketchup and mustard. Ha, see? We're in agreement then. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, those kind of people wouldn't help much. It'd be more trouble than help and I mean like... what's the point in that?

Dear hangover, go away.

See? 

Yeah, that was me. Me and Joe actually. A few moms called him asking if he could take pictures of their kids and he’s a sweetheart, I’m not even sure if he knows how to say no, and then we ended up with kids on the studio. I was telling him I would not deal with the moms, the kids weren’t that hard, I just kept a bowl of candy around. I have no idea how… If I ever need one, I’ll just write assistant’s assistant and go with it. 

It sounds like it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I don't know, man, kids are so.... bleh. It's not that I don't like 'em, I just.. don't know if I'm responsible enough to be left alone with them. I have a hard enough time finishing paintings on time. Whenever I think of kids, I think of insane little things running around in circles and breaking shit. I feel like people will read your ad and laugh. I'm sure you'll get inquiries but like... people will still laugh.

Dear hangover, go away.

I gave you the cure to hangovers, you should be happy. 

Well, like I said, if it doesn’t work you’re on your own anyway. Don’t bother telling me if it worked or not. Stressful. The photographer’s assistant might need to hire and assistant. That’s how life is on this side of the fence. 

I am definitely happy, you got me 

Alright then. Stressful? I guess I can see why. Weren't you the one talking about working with kids or something? Don't remember. That's kind of funny though. Assistant to the assistant. How do you write up that help wanted ad?

Dear hangover, go away.

If a glass doesn’t work, take a bottle. If the bottle doesn’t work… Then you’re on your own. 

Well aren't you helpful. 

I'll hope the glass works, but at least I can afford a bottle is it doesn't. I'll keep you updated. Unless I forget. What about you, doc? How's life on the not-hungover side?