wish i had a lover! instead i have depression

subtle 

it’s real?!!!! this is real !

It kind of baffles me that a lot of people never got to experience the Mishapocalypse. Not like it was something that was good, more like, it was something you’d only see on this website in like…10 years.

Imagine you wake up on April Fool’s day. You log into tumblr. Immediately your dash is encompassed with Misha’s face. Everyone’s icon has been changed to that same, staring, blank face. You check your followers. Every single one of them has that face. You try going into your normal tags. Even those are filled with Misha’s face. Nowhere is safe. Misha is everywhere. You go to Twitter to complain about it. Misha’s face is there too.

Within hours of the event starting, there’s already a wiki entry and an urban dictionary entry for it. Gifs that you may have recognized of being popular at that time have Misha’s face photoshopped over them. Repeating patterns of Misha’s face. Misha illusions. Misha’s face OVER MISHA’S FACE. 

Eventually, even Misha is like, “Yeah, this is fucking weird. What the fuck are you guys doing.” But it doesn’t stop. People hit post limit. They can’t post anymore. Suddenly, you notice that your dash is starting to thin out, slowly, one by one. There’s a hypothetical tumbleweed bouncing across your dash by 10pm that night. 

Anyone who tried to blacklist the Mishapocalypse suddenly found that their dashboard was sent into the shadow realm. Nothing is there. They tried to unfollow people who were participating in it. They had no blog content at the end of the day. 

The next day, we all wake up and continue on with our lives like nothing ever happened. It was like a fever dream. What the fucked happened. Where did our lives go for that day. 

That was the Mishapocalypse. 

It looked a little something like this

and it was absolute hell

It was over within like a day though that was he weird part. There were stragglers through the following weeks but the main bit was over within hours it was the weirdest shit I’ve ever seen

I think the most baffling thing is that whoever set this up did it without it leaking. and it originated from a fandom that had all the subtlety of a foghorn. this was the fandom that used to put those REBLOG IF U SUPPORT GAY MARRIAGE posts on your dash with 5000 flashing rainbow gifs and superwholock edits. A wide variety of image macros were premade for the occasion. it was literally the single slickest moment this website has ever and probably will ever pull off and so of fucking course it was wasted on this nonsense

Concept: an immortal who doesn’t shy away from photos or paintings. Draws self portraits on cave walls. Photobombs everything with a pout and a suave pose. Commissions numerous portraits of themself as a literary Romantic before faking their death. Tries to be at least slightly famous every time they have a new identity. Creates a conspiracy blog linking all their past photos together before mysteriously disappearing in mysterious circumstances. Mysteriously. Usually only disappears for 10 to 20 years after “"dying”“ before making another appearance. Everyone else in the immortal community lowkey hates them. “Ah, fuck. You’ll never guess who’s resurfaced again.” “Fucking… Dave?” “Fucking Dave.”

Now I can reblog this

cool nicknames for you and your best friends:

Today I learned that the university of Coimbra in Portugal has a great 18th-century library, the Biblioteca Joanina, that maintains a colony of bats to effectively control the population of paper-eating insects called papirófagos. These bats are less than an inch long. They roost during the day behind the bookcases and come out at night. There doesn’t seem to be any English word for papirófago, a cursory search turns up no details about what sort of insect they are, and ngl I am slightly concerned about them as a phenomenon. But I think my overarching point here is clear: 

This library keeps tiny bats that look after the books.

I’m here for tiny bats saving books.

Look at their little faces, they’re good bats.

@hinjewism @cryptidcorvid @anarkitteh the best library assistants

reasons to love harrison ford

1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective

11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god

Awwwww

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry

My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says

“Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”

From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:

“The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was. 

So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter. 

As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’ 

So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”

HARRISON FORD SMILES WHEN MEETING CREW MEMBERS AND IS A NERD FOR FUNCTIONING PRODUCTION DESIGN

Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes

Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed

someday, in the distant future, humans will once again be capable of hearing the phrase “what is love” without also feeling the primal urge to  respond with “baby don’t hurt me”

The worst part is while reading this I got to ‘what is love’ and immediately thought ‘baby don’t hurt me’ before reading anything else.

It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making

“Thar be booty to be found matey” “Matey, yar booty be thee most bountiful” “Matey”

brorates sailing the brocean in their broats

Pirate1: What be a pirate’s favorite letter? Pirate2: *sigh* Ye’d think it be R but his first love be the C Pirate1: Matey, this pirate’s favorite letter is U Pirate2: Matey

oh my god

theres this guy on youtube who just gets stung by increasingly deadly/painful insects and the videos are like 5 minutes of him getting psyched up to sting himself and then 10 minutes of him lying on the ground shrieking in agony

Guys, I need your help

So, this is my story. I’m currently unemployed and my mother can’t work due to health issues. For us to have a place to live we are living with my sister’s father. But he is an abusive man. He’s never touched us, but the verbal and physicological abuse happen everyday. In the latest fight he’s had with my mother, he had humilliated her in public and said that we should ask for help because he was throwing us out.

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m asking for help to get me, my sister and my mother away from his abusive shit, but I have no money for that. I’m looking for a job and hopefully I’ll get something next month. I’m really sorry for asking for money, especially that much money, but I can’t stay here any longer and I can’t do it on my own. I need money to find a place and to guarantee the rent for at least a few months.

Here is a link for donations: https://gogetfunding.com/help-bru-2/

(I’m on my phone, sorry for the ugly link)

If you can’t donate, please, help spread the word.

Thanks a lot!

Today we had another fight. I came back home from work then he came home drunk and started fighting with my mother. I was only observing until he called her a motherfucker. Then I defended her, he threw bananas (I mean it. He threw bananas) at us. Then the worst happened. He said he was going to kill my cats. I love them dearly, he knows this.

Then he started to torture me psychologically. He kept saying he was going to kill them and started describing how he would kill them, especially my favorite one (the cat I paid a R$500 surgery to save her life). I got desperate. Started crying, shaking, screaming that I hated him and he kept talking. Kept saying how he’d kill the cats. My sister and my mother had to hold me because I lost all my control. I was so desperate I slapped him on the face (which I’m ashamed of)

I said I was going to leave this place in one month. He’s said he was going to turn my life into hell.

So please, please, any help would be appreciated. I’ve got a job, but it’s still not enough for now. I just want to leave this place, to leave in peace, not to fear for the life of my pets. 

Thank you one more time for this. From the bottom of my heart.

Please help Bru, every donation matters and will make a difference! 

George W. Bush speaks out against Trump’s war with the media, travel ban and Islamophobia

Something is obviously wrong if Bush has become the voice of reason!

Christ, what timeline am I on?!

The worst one

Memories Everyone Who Made Mix CDs In The Early ’00s Will Have

this is giving me anxiety

i never get anxiety over online shit

This my bebe. Bebe is bigger than me. Strong bebe

ok friends i wanted to confirm this story’s accuracy before reblogging so i googled it and yes it’s TRUE 

AND ALSO the mom cat raised the lynx baby ALONGSIDE HER KITTEN so we have all these cute pictures of the lynx cub with the kitten please look at them

^^^ FAMILY PORTRAIT

Stop that’s fucking adorable

“This is my family! Is little… And broken… But still good. Yeah, still good.”

“Never speak to me or my giant daughter who can tear your face off again.”

end the concept of “cringy” interests 2k17

who the fuck cares if someones into minecraft or undertale or fucking twilight or whatever just let them have their goddamn fun they aint hurting anyone and it costs $0.00 to jus ignore it and move on

hint: if a person with clinical depression and anxiety says theyre tired …. dont tell them they have no reason to be …. bc guess what….. They Know and Its Shitty

Louder!!!

I just want to add one thing-

If you have depression or anxiety? you’re not tired for no reason.

You’re tired because you have depression/anxiety.

Not only do they both come with low energy/fatigue as a legit common side effect, but they’re both fucking /exhausting/. fighting your brain all the time? exhausting. adrenaline crashes from anxiety/panic attacks? exhausting. being on edge all the time? exhausting. plus doing things costs /more/ energy when you have those mental illnesses.

You’re not tired for no reason, you’re tied because you have an illness that makes you tired.