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Titus Hooves

@asktitushooves / asktitushooves.tumblr.com

just a simple earth pony
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Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

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squeeful

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

IT GOT SO MUCH BETTER.

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farrentalon

My reaction, only with coffee.

Hang on, need to send this to my literature prof

Source: katelizabeth
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Foiled!

Today I got to go on one of our runs to more rural shelters to help relieve overcrowding there. We ended up bringing back 21 kittens and 10 dogs. So fun day. But this morning, while I was getting stuff together in preparation for the 90 minute drive…. This happened.

Excuse you Tiniest Opossum, but you are NOT allowed to escape through the front bars of the cat carrier we were housing you in. I’m going to put you back.

“NO!”

I am going to catch you and put you back and you have no say in this matter.

“NO!”

Catching you and putting you back now.

“NOOOOOO!”

Aaaand back you go. Let go of the purple towel and go in the cardboard box.

“Noooooooooooo!”

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fractiousrvt

I admit, I am in love with this tiny possum. Finding it in the hallway like that nearly caused me to die from adorableness and ridiculousness. I mean… it’s half the size of an adult syrian hamster and growling so fiercely that it was vibrating.

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skullamity

This was straight up the best thing I could possibly wakeup to.

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Pokemon GO パルクールで逃げまくる ピカチュウとヒトカゲ

Nefeli, look at team rocket looking at pikachu doin’ parkour :P

DUDE. Oh, my god, you can just feel all the effort and love that was put into this video, this is amazing!

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kyleehenke

an ex art student’s lament

It’s the shitblaster 9000 lady, I’m so happy.

This is among the greatest posts I have ever seen in my horrid life.

i lost my shit  at  “ SONIC AND TIDDYS “ 

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reblogged
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markiplier

I EAT 13 HABANEROS AND THEN DUNK MYSELF IN ICE!! It’s the Fire and Ice Challenge in celebration of 4 years on YouTube and hitting 13 Million Subscribers! Thank you all so much for sticking with me for so long! :D

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yotoob

We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice. 

- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)

- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any

- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane

- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden

- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.

Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.

Long story short - I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.

ABSOLUTE CRISIS I GAVE THEM THE LEMON DRIZZLE AND THEN THEY INVITED ME IN TO HAVE A SLICE AND A COFFEE WITH THEM AND GAVE ME A TOUR OF THEIR HOUSE AND LET ME HOLD THEIR PUPPY. AND THEN THEY CAME AROUND TO HELP ME BAG UP THE HEDGE CLIPPINGS. THESE MEN ARE NICENESS PROS AND I CANNOT WIN.

HELP WE HAD AN HOUR LONG POWER CUT ON THE STREET AND IN THAT TIME THE OTHER MR NICE CAME AROUND WITH MATCHES AND CANDLES ‘JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY’. IT WAS BARELY DARK.

BASTARDS - I’M GOING TO HAVE TO HOST A DINNER PARTY AREN’T I?

The Gay Agenda, everyone. 

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duskenpath

this is fucking i n c r e d i b l e

This post was beautiful from start to finish

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