I have been listening to the Hobbit audiobook while working. Bad idea. I didn't work, I drew Bilbo and his fancy home ♥

Everything is terrible (Boromir is dead) and I really liked the grim discussion of a grave that no one has time to dig. BUT this little sequence of “Sauron wouldn’t be caught dead with this style. Elf runes?? White?? No.” was a little funny. Culminating in a begrudging “S is for Saruman I guess”. Grim shit, Aragorn tiredly infodumping, back to grim shit!

#the ‘neither does he use his right name nor permit it to be spelt or spoken’ is also fun #bc that’s about how ‘sauron’ (‘abhorred one’) is actually a name the elves gave him #as a riff on his older and preferred name ‘mairon’ (‘admirable one’) #aragorn: yeah he’d also never identify himself by the ACCURATE insulting name we gave him (via tanoraqui)

i took elvish in school and i fucking hated it. the teacher was like 700 years old and he'd like take us on field trips to sit on the banks of babbling brooks and watch the fall of sunlight through the leaves. my friends in spanish class were like conjugating verbs and shit and meanwhile i was in an old-growth forest being overcome with awe at the sight of a majestic stag. like uhh yeah mr autumnheart when are we gonna learn like any grammar "listen to the murmur of the wind in the treetops, and you shall find the grammar you seek" like fuck dude your pedagogy leaves much to be desired

well you know what happened in our elvish class? our teacher took us to the harbor to look for some fucking crystals for hours and then he fought a swan and set a bunch of ships on fire all while shouting gibberish in quinoa or whatever. never taking elvish again smh

Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

I get it, man. The other day, I survived a shootout, only to realize that a stray bullet went through a mirror in such a way as to look from the camera's perspective like I got shot in the head through the mirror, so now I have to acknowledge that something that could be reasonably referred to as "me" really did die that day, and it's just like "jfc, gimme a BREAK"

ugh dont even get me started on how the other day i tried to sit on the throne of my conquered foe and light a cigar to celebrate my victory but the lighter wouldnt work and it had to be lighted by the vizier who used to work for my enemy but that i enlisted to work as a double agent and help me in my coup. that jerk afterwards said with a devilish smile "ill always be at your service my liege" and i just KNOW that he said that exact same thing to the previous ruler. signifying that my victory was phyrric since i am still caught in an endless cycle of violence and betrayal. that really spoiled the whole mood

If you wanna know how I spend my free time, this is it:

the thing about writing fantasy stories is that language is so based on history that it can be hard to decide how far suspension of disbelief can carry you word-choice wise - what do you call a french braid in a world with no france? can a queen ann neckline be described if there was no queen ann? where do you draw the line? can you use the word platonic if plato never existed? can you name a character chris in a land without christianity? can you even say ‘bungalow’ in a world where there was no indian language for the word to originate from? is there a single word in any language that doesn’t have a story behind it? to be accurate a fantasy story would be written in a fantasy language but who has the time for that

Tolkien had the time apparently

LIsten. Linguistics Georg, who invented over 10,000 conlangs each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted. 

it's a bit like herding cats, sir, if cats had geiger counters and thought they were smarter than you.

"You weren’t supposed to come." "My place is here with you"

-Monarch: Legacy of Monsters 1x06

⋈ MONARCH: LEGACY OF MONSTERS (2023)

DIN DJARIN in THE MANDALORIAN Chapter 14: The Tragedy

only good thing to come out of supernatural is Jen Titus’ rendition of O’ Death

You knew it was coming.

petition

we need to bring back anon kink memes in a big way. no one is horny enough anymore. the other night i found a fic on an old kink meme from 2009 that was so well-written and also so raunchy and foul (affectionate) it could have stripped paint off my car. there is something about truly unapologetic filth that can be transcendent and tender and marrow deep and maybe if we all leaned into being anonymous depraved little weirdos again we'd learn how to have more fun.

what do you mean I can't crawl in between the slats of your ribs and sleep soundly to the beat of your heart? do you even love me?