rip to all the kids who used to reads books cover to cover in one sitting and now can’t find the energy to read for fun

whenever a kid in school asked me to spell icup i would just keep spelling it e-y-e-c-u-p until they got annoyed and i asked “well how are you supposed to spell it” and then they would spell it out and fucking own themselves and never recover and have to change schools, every time, self-esteem obliterated for life

Hi

Please look at this bowl, made in Egypt almost 6000 years ago. Look at it.

I love it. Thank you for your time.

I’m losing it I just walked in front of a parked car in front of a hotel and I had the right of way but this dude didn’t realize his window was cracked and he mumbled “I’ll run you over” as I think we have all said to ourselves about pedestrians before but I said “cool do it” and he looked mortified

Everyone outside of USA:

US First responder here, Just some info for folks, you only get billed if a private ambulance company or a fire department transports. The medical service provided by your local fire department or FD/municipal paramedic is free. Call us when something goes wrong, We will show up and evaluate you/provide care (stop the bleeding, splint the injury, administer epinephrine) free of charge, And then you can have a friend or uber transport you to the hospital (or sign AMA and just stay home if you don’t want to go to the hospital either.)

Also, in a large number of counties, there are public paramedics paid for by the taxpayers, so ALS transport is free. I’d advise researching your local system.

Please don’t avoid calling 911 for a medical emergency because you’re afraid of bills, you have the right to refuse transport which is where the bills occur.

I have to repeat, you will NOT be billed for medical services provided on scene by the fire department/paramedics, And you have the RIGHT to refuse transport even if not going to the hospital will kill you.

The Queen does her best job trying to reenact what I assume is her favorite Brandy photoshoot

This is AMAZING! 😍

HOW???

Everyone outside of USA:

HNFNFJSJAJAJDJJGKDS

this guy created mcafee antivirus and then went completely off the rails. like absolute chaos. he got super rich, moved to Belize, was suspected of murdering his neighbor, fled Belize, had his location accidentally leaked by a Vice journalist who was with him lmfao, was apprehended in Guatemala, faked not one but two heart attacks while in custody to buy time for his lawyer, was deported back to the US, and then ran for president as a libertarian

@ilovepickles2007 WHAT, PRAY TELL, THE FUCK

these are all legit tweets that are still up on his account….dude just really wants to fuck a whale

🤣🤣🤣🤣

please hurry up and overthrow capitalism so that i don’t have to fill out any more job applications where i have to retype the contents of my resume into an application form after i already attached my resume