can we be friends, sweetly

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

This is the money courage, reblog at your leisure for wealth, positivity and good fortune. Add any negativity to this post and a man will appear outside your home yelling “return the slab” over and over.

girl: *stares outside of window on train, looking pensive*

boy: she’s so beautiful, so thoughtful, my manic pixie Dream girl

girl: *to herself* how many donuts can i stuff in my mouth at 1 time

Seven Syllables Of A Haiku Obscured By A Vegan Hotdog, 2014 Alt-Lit ***

this is the goddamn fucking height of literature and billiam spearmint or whatever his name was can eat it

(via tank.sinatra)

pubic school

rip vine

Best compilation yet

the actual locker room talk Donald Trump didn’t want you to see

Life is full of tough decisions

call the police immediately

My bank was out of fucking envelopes. They gave me a Halloween bag full of money. I told them I felt like I was robbing the place.

This is the lucky tall Betsy. Reblog and within 24 hours and lucky tall Betsy will grant you an irrelevantly festive bag full o’ moneys.

Haha

Bless me Tall Betsy

I love this.

I’m going to the bank today, wish me luck!

bye