20th of October 2015 9:15PM
Tomorrow is Big Bang’s concert in Melbourne.. I’m so excited, words are not enough to explain this. But yeah, you will probably remember this year as the second year of university. The me at this point in time.. well it’s not hopelessness, probably just a few levels above this.. I’m not doing so well I guess, I don’t know where I’m going to be when I leave my studies, whether I want to continue on this path. I’ve been feeling slightly depressed for the past year and a half now, although I don’t really want to self-diagnose, otherwise it feels as if I’m deluding myself into this mindset... I want to be happy, well at least happier than mum’s life has been, I want to be able to make her happy, but right now it would just be the blind leading the blind, I don’t know if continuing will bring more suffering than just ending it. I don’t want to disappoint but I feel like that’s all I am capable of.. up until now.. 19 reaching 20 years, is this all I am capable of? Am I being selfish? But I want to see this world develop and grow in all its beauty... I want to grow... I don’t want this to be my limit, but I feel as if my sight has been covered by a grey sheet.. I want to see color again... so the me 8 years from now..
How are you?
What are you doing?
How are you spending your time?
Do you have a significant other in your life?
Have you matured?
Are you happy?
I really hope you’re happy.