Well - that went faster than expected.Thank you! 

Since I did them on Twitter as well - here we go on tumblr too, since they tend to be a lot of fun. 

Two Winners:

Price 

How to win?

Rules

Have fun and good luck! 

Reblog if you love the person in your icon.

Things I have learned from Grey (part 2/?)

1. What is life, do pigeons have feelings, what do sheep count when they can’t go to sleep….? Yes, I am, indeed, losing my mind *thumbs up* 2. Christian referring to Anastasia and Kate: “I wonder why these women are friends. They have nothing in common” – bro, my dude, you’ve known them for a combined 28 seconds. But wait, I’ve forgotten that for Christian, women are about as complicated and complex as breathing in and out or scartching his ass 3. Christian literally assumes every man in the vicinity of Ana might be her boyfriend. As if women can’t be single, god forbid, THE HORROR

4. “Are they fucking?” – 2 seconds after being introduced to a male friend of Ana’s. FML. 5. “He’s telling me to back off. Well, game on, kid.” – here we go with the “let’s see whose balls are bigger” game. Spoiler alert: NO ONE CARES

6. I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I miss the inner goddess. Christian’s inner monologue is so arrogant and pretentious and he keeps wondering if Ana will accept his proposal to be a submissive and he keeps second guessing himself and it’s honestly like reading a 12 year old’s diary.  7. Case in point: “She’s watching me. Is she checking me out?” – congratulations, Christian, you have the depth of a prepubescent teen 8. “Oh, sweetheart, he wants to be more than a friend” – you condescending fuckwit 9. “I like my women in skirts. I like them accessible” – I think I threw up in my mouth a little… okay, a little more 10. “Fiction was my sanctuary when I was a teenager” – I can’t believe Christian and I have something in common, is the sky falling? *opens umbrella just to be sure I don’t want to mess up my hair* 11. Christ, this is boring, there’s so much filler monologue and mindless shit, it’s honestly a feat that I haven’t fallen asleep yet. SERIOUSLY, NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS IN THIS BOOK. OR BETTER YET, I KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS WHY WAS THIS THING WRITTEN WHY WHYYYYY WHY LIFE WHYYYY 12. Or maybe I have fallen asleep and this is my nightmare. Oh gods, what if bookworm hell is being forced to reread the worst books in the world over and over again?!?!?!

13. Christian’s brother is a fuckboy. That is all, carry on. 14. ”I’d really like to give her a bath, but that would be stepping beyond the bounds of propriety.” – well it seems Christian does have some boundaries, who would have thought

15. “My cock agrees.” – the cock has replaced the inner goddess. I can’t believe I’m writing this sentence, wow this is surreal 16. “Stop standing here ogling the girl, for fuck’s sake, Grey.” – yes, Grey, she’s asleep and you’re being very fucking creepy 17. You fucker 18. “I’m so sorry,” she says, her voice full of shame.” – honestly, this bothers the hell out of me. It’s not like she did the most vile thing in the world, she got drunk. But it’s like she offended every sentient being in a 100 mile radius by doing that. New flash: women get drunk and throw up much wow very surprise

19. “An image of her shackled to my bench, peeled gingerroot inserted in her ass so she can’t clench her buttocks, comes to mind, followed by judicious use of a belt or strap.” – I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING BRING BACK THE INNER GODDESS PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS 20. Holy Jesus it’s like read shitty fanfiction, nothing is happening, and there’s no sexual tension, despite the writer’s very obvious efforts.  21. I’m asleep 22. Oddly enough, the elevator scene was better written now than in the first book. I actually felt I was reading erotica. 23. “I’ll fuck her in time. I’ll fuck her bound and with her smart mouth gagged.” – I feel faint and sick, this is just…so brutal fml how do people find this arousing and romantic and something you’d actually want happening to you 24. “a huge cock-tightening grin” – so…um…this is a thing 25. hahahahahaha I’m sorry but wow

26. “My cock concurs.” – oh my fucking god I’m crying hahahahaha 27. “First, I don’t make love. I fuck, hard” – mr. Oh-look-at-me-so-manly-and-rugged-ladies-pls-hold-ur-panties lolololololol no 28. These. Short. Sentences. Are giving me. A headache. Please stop. And forget. That the full stop. Exists. Please and thank. 29. On Ana’s virginity: “And a nice young man hasn’t swept you off your feet? I just don’t understand. You’re twenty-one, nearly twenty-two. You’re beautiful.” Why hasn’t some guy taken her to bed?” – heaven forbid she stay a virgin for as long as she wants because *insert whatever reason here* I feel offended on behalf of all virgins. YOU DO YOU, BOOS, OKAY? ILY <3 30. Ugh, he’s “rectifying the situation”. I remember this part. IT STILL HAUNTS MY DREAMS. 31. Kay, hold on, I need booze to be able to read this

32. “At least I don’t have to worry about every dick she’s slept with.” – I can’t even with you, you fuckboy to end all fuckboys 33. “I want to see her marked…pink…with tiny, thin welts from a crop maybe” – ANA RUN THE FUCK AWAY MY CHILD 34. “I own her first orgasm” – you possessive turd 35. Oh my god, nobody comes just because you tell them to ffs 36. “My cock stirs with approval” – I’m sorry, I can’t take a book with sentences like this seriously honestly i’m imagining stirring the soup with a dick 37. I just can’t 38. Wow that was like 10 pages too many of really poor sex 39. 1/10 would not recommend 40. OKAY CHOCOLATE TIME

Part 1

Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed masterpost

I imagine "17. You fucker" sums up this entire series

i know everyone loves magic and wants hogwarts to be real but listen…i can’t live in a world where aragog and his family are real i just can’t

What are we? "BOOKWORMS!" What do we want?! "BOOKS!" When will we read them?! [INDISTINCT MUMBLING ABOUT HUGE TBR PILES AND MAYBE NEXT YEAR]

Do not let Tumblr make you think:

Okay, I am going to go and explain every single point on this post because none of y’all seem to get it.

Doing drugs does NOT make you cool. It makes you look like a fucking loser because you don’t know how to solve your problems in a healthier way. I’ve seen drugs take away from people and it is seriously painful to watch somebody you care about ruin themselves over stupid crap that doesn’t matter. Rise above that, and quit while you can. Please.

Some backlash came out of this saying that you don’t have to respect abusive parents. That’s fine. I get it. However, if you have an attitude problem and don’t want to listen to any authority whatsoever, that is not fine. If your parents love you, love them back.

Straight jokes are very abundant on this website. Shitting on other people for being straight doesn’t solve the problem of shitting on other people for being lgbtqa+. I know all of this privilege shit is involved but you are being a hypocrite if you don’t like being criticized for traits beyond your control and then you go do it to someone else who doesn’t deserve it. Grow up.

Being controversial all the time by talking about politics and religion is NOT the way you get friends. As a matter of fact, it is probably the fastest way to LOSE friends in the book. Idk about you guys, but it’s really annoying to me when people on here are always on here wanting to dox Donald Trump supporters or tear down Confederate flags because they don’t agree with their viewpoints. Again, grow up, and realize that not everybody is like you. Being open-minded is more than just accepting left-wing. You also have to accept other opinions from right-winged people, even if you don’t agree with them. It works both ways.

It’s not okay to go to somebody and tell them that they are being a misogynistic dickhead. You wouldn’t say that to somebody face-to-face, so why would you say that here? I personally have to work on that myself, but just realize that there is a face behind that screen, and furthermore, everybody gets so triggered here that you might trigger someone by saying things like that. If you really cared about those people, you would respect the fact that they have feelings too.

Minorities keep using “these dumbass white folks” on a lot of posts, and even some narcissistic white people are saying that “all white people are racist” (Milo Stewart is a great example of this). I hope by saying that shit, you are also realize that you are being racist yourself, because newsflash: hating somebody for the color of their skin, is, by definition, racism. I know everybody keeps saying “white ppl have privileged” this “white ppl are not oppressed” that, but if you are somebody that says those things to defend themselves for saying hurtful things, you are just trying to give yourself a free pass to be an asshole, and literally nobody will like you. As a matter of fact, you will give those privileged people more ammunition against you and the group of people that you are trying to defend. Same goes for the third bullet point.

This was worded horribly, and I can see how people interpreted this wrong. I didn’t mean “you aren’t cool if you have a mental illness”, of course you can be cool! Just as long as you aren’t mean to people, that’s fine! What I meant is by somebody impressionable coming onto this website for the first time, see all the posts about people wanting to kill themselves (i.e. the depression side of this website), and they might think it’s some fun thing to have when it isn’t. It’s incredibly difficult to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

Self-explanatory. This goes for depression blogs.

Misandry DOES exist. It is prevalent on half the posts on this website where people joke about men getting afraid of tampons, or try writing a fake story about the entire train clapping, or even turning body positivity for men into a joke by replacing images of mannequins with stupid pictures of actors or fictional characters. While I personally prefer to hang out with girls because a lot of guys at my school are douchebags, I don’t go about saying “men are evil!!11!” “men are the reason for the world being horrible!!1!” because I know there are nice men out there who will love and respect people. I’m one of those men who want to step up and be a friend to everyone, and it really hurts when I see posts like that on my feed (oh and before you say “you must not have any real problems then”, I get harassed almost all the time for being autistic and being different from everyone else). The fact that I try to be nice to everyone is the reason why it hurts to see so much toxicity and hate on this website. We’re all here trying to respect one another and fight for rights and shit but meanwhile we are separating ourselves further and further from each other. Why can’t we all learn to respect each other?

I cannot believe I actually have to explain this, but by doxxing somebody for something they said, you are stripping them of their 1st Amendment right to Freedom of Expression. While I may not agree with what some people have to say about certain topics, I’m not an immature brat who starts hacking people because they don’t know how to control their anger. And on top of that, doxxing is illegal to begin with. Please don’t support it. It’s toxic af.

Please do not use tumblr as a source for social justice. For most of the posts on here, all it takes is a five second Google search to prove a post horribly wrong.

People on here like to complain about the American Education System, and while I agree there is a lot wrong with it, you just have to suck it up and get through it like everyone else. If you try your best, you will succeed and you will not have to go back there anymore.

Being narcissistic ISN’T cute. It makes you look like a selfish, self-entitled prick. There’s a difference between loving yourself and having a massive ego that you place in front of you at any given moment, such as tweeting a “clapback” or giving somebody “savage” (yeah, cyber-bullying, real funny guys).

People on this website seriously need to learn to let shit go. If a post dies, it dies, and it should stay dead. Typically, this happens to people who say some immature stuff when they are like 14, and even though they may be 18 and applying for college, that post they wrote is STILL going around, and OP is still getting anon hate for it. It usually gets to the point where OP has to delete their blog(s), and if you don’t think there is something wrong with that, idk what to tell you.

The most controversial point on here. The world is what you make it. If you involve yourself so much into this website, all you will be thinking about is controversial issues, memes about depression, and calling out bigots, and it will make you feel like shit. The entire vibe of this website is extremely negative and everybody on here is a pessimist. Try looking on the bright side of things for once. Go outside, take a walk, talk to some friends or family, just anything besides being in a dark LCD-screen-lit room just mindlessly scrolling for hours. I made that mistake in freshman and sophomore year of high school and my sanity dropped significantly. I do not want to get back on that path, and you should do everything possible to avoid it.

So why did I make this post? Because I am sick of seeing everybody tormenting and harassing each other on here, and the mean comments to other people can get to them. Yeah, maybe I’m not as oppressed as other people may be, but I still have problems socially. I come on here to find funny memes, maybe some art, etc. but it just makes me feel worse about myself when I see mean comments directed towards cis, white males. Remember, they have feelings too.

Please reblog this version, and I want this shown to everybody who keeps giving this post shit or changing the subject matter to bread.

Miss Flitworth, Reaper Man  Terry Pratchett (via littlesunshinedragon)

Bill McNeal, adequate. (NewsRadio, “Review”)

I saw this:   

…and thought, Oh yes. I’m sure he will impress us with his Adequacivity.

(Even Bill McNeil, who was entirely un-self-aware, knew that he had been insulted…)

*frantically waves*

We have both of the same houses!!!!!

New Song of Ice and Fire novel?  Could this finally be a release date for Winds of Winter?  I should open this e-mail immediately!

WTF NO. THAT WAS NOT WHAT YOU IMPLIED THERE. 

Not cool, B&N.  Lyanna Mormont is not impressed with your bullshit.

But an illustrated edition?!?!?!

# ELDERLINGS BUILT THE PYRAMIDS # WAKE UP SIX DUCHIES

(I can’t believe this is the first fanart I’m posting for these books)

THIS IS GOLD